What Should I Do About this Mate?

[CarbonDivinity]

Okay. Anyway I have this mate who I went to school with (I only left school 3 months ago). Anyway, this would have been my final year, but I didnt finish it.
This mate of mine was in 2 of my classes this year. I've been mates with him since my 3rd year of high school. This year would have been my 5th year.

He's being doing some things lately that have been bugging me. Firstly, he doesn't seem to respect personal space. I remember when we would be sitting down in the class room, he'd have his chair turned towards me and he'd be leaning over looking at his phone and it always felt like his legs were getting to close. Also, when we would be walking around school, he would walk to close and sometimes it was a pain in the ass to walk with him. As when we needed to past people or go around the corner. He wouldn't walk with the flow, and id have too stop and go right around. One of my other mates, also mentioned this to me and told me how he was getting annoyed with it. Also when he was over at my house, I was sitting down on the couch on my laptop and he was sitting next to be on his phone. He was getting way to close on the couch, his arms and shoulders were leaning over towards me.

I don't know if hes gay or something? He has a girlfriend and they have sex etc. He will also often make a comment to me when we see a hot chick in public etc. I wouldn't care if he was gay or something, but what I'm getting really pissed off with, is he doesn't seem to respect personal space.
I don't think he notices, because he does seem to be a bit stupid. He was in fact born 2 months premature.

Anyway. Another thing that annoys me is his loudness and rudeness in public. He says things real loud and it pisses me off and I've actually mentioned this before to him, but he still does it. For example, he might make a rude comment about someone after they walk past and he seems unaware of how loud he says it and its very possible to person heard. Also he swears his mouth off in public places around old ladies and kids etc. He is very loud, I think hes partly deaf and doesn't notice it. Also one time he said the N word really loud as we were walking into school and there was an African worker right there working up on the street lights and he heard it. I got really pissed off at him after this and mentioned it and he tried denying it. The last time I got annoyed, was when we were getting petrol and he said something to me with lots of swear words really loud and the petrol station is covered, so it echoed really loud and there were heaps of people around. I just find it very disrespectful and embarrassing when people swear loud in public and he is honestly really loud. He like yells sometimes.

Another thing that pisses me off is he does random as stuff to waste time. Like he'll go and ask a pointless question or go and do something unnecessary or something that can wait.

Also I forgot to mention about the personal space thing. One time when I got a new car, he wanted to check under my bonet and he put his hands through my arms to pull the lever to do this. Like seriously? at least fucking ask me to open it for you.

I don't know what I should do. Hes a nice another guy. Hes respectful to the people in my house, hes respectful to my house. Hes never insulting to any of his mates. He just doesn't seem to have any shame or give a shit at all what people think about him. I know it can be a good thing to not care about what people think about you, but its just to far with him. Also I don't remember him doing this the 1st year i was mates with him and can't entirely recall any issues with him last year, but I've hanged out with him the most this year and noticed it heaps. What should I do?

[heymynameis]

my best advice would be asking him to sit down with you and then address all these problems to him. if he is a true friend, he would listen and understand what you are saying and try and act upon your words. as for the rudeness in public, he doesn't sound very mature and sounds like a 10 year old who has no idea about respectfulness in public. that is all i can say :)

~ Phillip

[NewLeafsFan]

Two thoughts come to mind.

It is very common for people to have a strange gap in their knowledge. They pronounce a certain word incorrectly, they can't through a football, the don't use 'indoor voices', etc. That's probably all it is. Sit down with him alone and talk about what you've noticed. Secondly, it could be a minor mental disability.

I'm sorry but you've clearly been over thinking this. Many people are born premature and they don't just walk around like a group of big dummies!

[jamie_n5]

I think you need to politely sit down with him and talk to him about your space and his loud rudeness and annoyances. If he is a friend I would hope that he will understand.

[Just JT]

First, welcome to VT
Second, I agree with the above posters, talk with him, but not at him. Being born premature most likely has nothing to do with anything

My thoughts are this, you ask if he’s gay, say he’s got a gf and they have sex. Perhaps he’s bi?

Also, sometimes good friends just like to be close like that. I am with a few of my friends, not in a sexual way or anything. We’re just very close, and that kinda reduces that personal space and all. So maybe he just feels really close to you as in a close friendship

So be gentle ok?

[Arsen01]

Mate , also known as erva mate and chimarrão or yerba mate and cimarrón (it is often called "yerba" in Spanish), is a traditional South American caffeine-rich infused drink, that was first consumed by the indigenous Guaraní and also spread by the Tupí people. In the last centuries, it became particularly popular in Argentina and Uruguay (where it is defined by law as the "national infusion"), as also in Paraguay, the Bolivian Chaco, Southern Chile and Southern Brazil. It is also consumed in Syria, the largest importer in the world, and in Lebanon.