need a opinion what i did with my friend yesterday

[Alex0Shaw]

So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange. :what:

- Alex :)

[mick01]

11 seems really young to me to have a boyfriend, especially one who is 14. But if her parents were in the room, and they seem okay with it, I guess you're fine.

[Alex0Shaw]

11 seems really young to me to have a boyfriend, especially one who is 14. But if her parents were in the room, and they seem okay with it, I guess you're fine.

Definitely, not boyfriend, just a friend nothing more than that :)

[mick01]

Definitely, not boyfriend, just a friend nothing more than that :)
So it wouldn't lead to kissing then or anything? And do you know for sure that she just wants to be friends?

[zzzzzzzzzz]

Sounds like you both being friendly?

[Jake445]

I don’t see anything wrong here especially with her parents in the room.
Cuddling or hugging is something you can enjoy without having any plans to go further.
It can just be really nice and pleasant.

[ska8er]

As long as the two of u just remain
friends I don't c anything wrong. She
may have other things in mind as time
goes on like a crush.

[Alex0Shaw]

So it wouldn't lead to kissing then or anything? And do you know for sure that she just wants to be friends?

I think i can handle myself not to do any kind of things like that.
I'm sure, i did ask her, but she just said we are just friends, like very close friends :)

Sounds like you both being friendly?
Yeah i find myself pretty friendly, always try to be caring and kind :)
And she is very bubbly so yeah, guess that's why she has no care in the world what she does. :lol:

I don’t see anything wrong here especially with her parents in the room.
Cuddling or hugging is something you can enjoy without having any plans to go further.
It can just be really nice and pleasant.

Yep as long as nothing else happens, it's fine.
Yeah, i like it a lot felt happy kinda miss it tbh, just not used to it :D

As long as the two of u just remain
friends I don't c anything wrong. She
may have other things in mind as time
goes on like a crush.

Yeah, i get what you mean.
Just go with the flow and see what happens :cool:


double posts merged ~ Val

[zzzzzzzzzz]

Yeah i find myself pretty friendly, always try to be caring and kind :)
And she is very bubbly so yeah, guess that's why she has no care in the world what she does. :lol:

Yep as long as nothing else happens, it's fine.
Yeah, i like it a lot felt happy kinda miss it tbh, just not used to it :D

sounds like u hit it off as good friends!

[mick01]

I think i can handle myself not to do any kind of things like that.
I'm sure, i did ask her, but she just said we are just friends, like very close friends :)

Sounds like you got it handled dude.

[Alex0Shaw]

thanks for the opinions guys :)

Sounds like you got it handled dude.

sounds like u hit it off as good friends!

Thanks guys! :) <3




double posts merged ~ Val

[Adarest]

Sounds like platonic friendship for now. You are both very close, since you cuddle and hug quite early. Plus, even if she does enter a relationship with you, you are 3 years apart, and that is ok for dating, but her being 11 years old is really way too young. She should wait to start dating until she is 15 years old at the youngest, but the same goes for you.

[Alex0Shaw]

Sounds like platonic friendship for now. You are both very close, since you cuddle and hug quite early. Plus, even if she does enter a relationship with you, you are 3 years apart, and that is ok for dating, but her being 11 years old is really way too young. She should wait to start dating until she is 15 years old at the youngest, but the same goes for you.

Yeah get what you mean, i think we just seem to hugged a lot after the first hug, then we just starting to get used to hugging everytime we saw eachother.
She's childish/immature not saying there's nothing wrong with that, i just think even if we did date wouldn't work out since i'm kinda mature, and don't really like doing stuff like.. Playing outside or going to the park i don't do any of that anymore, but i would for her.

I have dated young as 11 when i was in school, think that's just how it is these days, things change as years go on :)

Thanks for the opinion Adarest.

[NewLeafsFan]

If everyone involved, including her parents were ok with it then I think it's fine. Are you worried about her falling in love with you or something? cause that could get weird.

[Alex0Shaw]

If everyone involved, including her parents were ok with it then I think it's fine. Are you worried about her falling in love with you or something? cause that could get weird.

I'm only a tiny bit worried about that, but i really just think it's more like a platonic friendship with her, we seem to be happy when we are together.

But things seem to be fine nothing seems to be a issue at all :)

Thanks Leafs

[Lost in the Echo]

Yeah as others have said if it’s friendship and nothing more then cool.

She’s 11 and likely doesn’t have many of those “thoughts” yet so don’t overthink.

I’m glad you’re as cool as you are, because there are a lot of creeps out there who would probably take advantage of her naivety and innocence.
It’s good she feels comfortable with you and it sounds like you don’t have bad intentions.

[Alex0Shaw]

Yeah as others have said if it’s friendship and nothing more then cool.

She’s 11 and likely doesn’t have many of those “thoughts” yet so don’t overthink.

I’m glad you’re as cool as you are, because there are a lot of creeps out there who would probably take advantage of her naivety and innocence.
It’s good she feels comfortable with you and it sounds like you don’t have bad intentions.

Yeah, thanks Echo.
I honestly haven't really had a friend for awhile and for it to be a girl that's my friend is hard for me to think, do i love her or do i just like her as a friend.

But yeah i understand what you mean there's a lot of people who are weird, and people who can be really mean to her and i try to help her to ignore them things.

She did say she had a "boyfriend" at her school, but i have heard about things about him when her parents was talking about him, that he was saying nasty words to her, but that's 11 year olds for you, they don't understand love very well yet :lol:

Anywho, thanks for the opinion, really helps me think :)

[Just JT]

Just a hunch but maybe you’re questioning if it’s ok or not maybe cause you might be developing feelings for her?
I’m sure if you are it’s ok, so long as you don’t act inappropriate with her
Just a thought is all

[Lost in the Echo]

Yeah, thanks Echo.
I honestly haven't really had a friend for awhile and for it to be a girl that's my friend is hard for me to think, do i love her or do i just like her as a friend.

But yeah i understand what you mean there's a lot of people who are weird, and people who can be really mean to her and i try to help her to ignore them things.

She did say she had a "boyfriend" at her school, but i have heard about things about him when her parents was talking about him, that he was saying nasty words to her, but that's 11 year olds for you, they don't understand love very well yet :lol:

Anywho, thanks for the opinion, really helps me think :)

No problem man.

Yeah I wouldn’t doubt it. I was 11 once ( feels ancient now lol ) and yeah you have thoughts about wanting to fuck at that age. But I feel like females take a bit to mature at that young and they’re easy to manipulate ( unfortunately ) and can easily be forced into things.
I have a 9 year old sister who likes boys in her school, but I know it’s just innocent crushes and nothing more.

Good on you for recognizing it’s just friendship. The world would be a better place if more 14 year olds thought with the right head like you do.

You’re cool

[Alex0Shaw]

Just a hunch but maybe you’re questioning if it’s ok or not maybe cause you might be developing feelings for her?
I’m sure if you are it’s ok, so long as you don’t act inappropriate with her
Just a thought is all

I think do have feelings for her, but it's also i'm pretty sure that i have never had a friendship with a girl for a long time. Yeah i would never be inappropriate to her, never really am to be honest :D

No problem man.

Yeah I wouldn’t doubt it. I was 11 once ( feels ancient now lol ) and yeah you have thoughts about wanting to fuck at that age. But I feel like females take a bit to mature at that young and they’re easy to manipulate ( unfortunately ) and can easily be forced into things.
I have a 9 year old sister who likes boys in her school, but I know it’s just innocent crushes and nothing more.

Good on you for recognizing it’s just friendship. The world would be a better place if more 14 year olds thought with the right head like you do.

You’re cool

Yeah get ya, thanks Echo :) think i'm like this cause i'm pretty quiet and shy so, not a average 14 year old really xD but i can be mischievous when i want to ;)

[heymynameis]

I don’t see anything wrong here especially with her parents in the room.
Cuddling or hugging is something you can enjoy without having any plans to go further.
It can just be really nice and pleasant.

exactly :)

[Princesa77]

So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange. :what:

- Alex :smile:

I'm glad her parents were in the room because it makes it feel nice being with her family. Her parents must think a lot of you to be so gentle to their 11 year old daughter, but remember that feelings in young girls still run as deep as those in their early teens. By all means cuddle her, but treat her gently, and in a brotherly manner.

In time if you go gently and sensitively, your friendship will grow as will may her parents come to trust you more and more. She is far too young to even think about having a boyfriend, but I bet she looks up to you as a good role model, and I hope your friendship continues.

Be aware also that though the age gap is only three years, your interests may well be more advanced than your young friend. Balance your interests, so having board games such as Monopoly puts you both on an even setting. Does she have a compact camera? Do you? Go out taking pictures in the garden, and take pics of you two, and dogs and cats... here again is this shared interest.

You will always remember your first girlfriend.boyfriend. Long may your friendship last. Have happy times growing together, but nothing serious for a long time yet.

Julie

[Alex0Shaw]

I'm glad her parents were in the room because it makes it feel nice being with her family. Her parents must think a lot of you to be so gentle to their 11 year old daughter, but remember that feelings in young girls still run as deep as those in their early teens. By all means cuddle her, but treat her gently, and in a brotherly manner.

In time if you go gently and sensitively, your friendship will grow as will may her parents come to trust you more and more. She is far too young to even think about having a boyfriend, but I bet she looks up to you as a good role model, and I hope your friendship continues.

Be aware also that though the age gap is only three years, your interests may well be more advanced than your young friend. Balance your interests, so having board games such as Monopoly puts you both on an even setting. Does she have a compact camera? Do you? Go out taking pictures in the garden, and take pics of you two, and dogs and cats... here again is this shared interest.

You will always remember your first girlfriend.boyfriend. Long may your friendship last. Have happy times growing together, but nothing serious for a long time yet.

Julie

Aw, thanks Julie for them kinds words :)

Yeah her parents seem to really fine with me and kind to me, and say i'm always welcomed to come over anytime, which is nice, but i don't really talk as much when i'm around her parents i go pretty quiet mostly cause i think i'm going to say something bad or weird, but anyways i'm mostly quiet.

She does seem to get bullied which isn't nice, i always try to help her, and protect her if that happens when i'm around, so that's good of me. I do think of her as my sister and always will.

I mean when i was 11 i did date, when i was in primary in Year 6 a girl asked me out i don't think i really thought much of it really, but i went with it and she says she has a "boyfriend" but her parents say that, that boyfriend used to be not nice to her and said nasty words to her... so maybe she doesn't understand too well.. when i saw her yesterday i think that was one of the best days i have had with her, we walked the long way back to her house after i picked her up from school, since it was a school day and i don't go to school only on a Wednesday, then we talked, cuddled, it was nice i like doing stuff like this i just never really done it before so it makes me really happy.


What i have known, from her friend next door, that apparently her (my friend) thinks i like her, since okay i'ma admit this i kissed her on the cheek, i think that's a friendly thing to do, nothing as bad, so yeah that happened, and yeah i'm going to try to explain to her about are friendship on Sunday

We have done stuff together like go to park which i don't really do anymore but if it's with a friend that's fine also i went on a trampoline with her since she has one in her backyard, went on that once even though i didn't really want to but it was alright, also she likes to go on snapchat on my phone even though it kinda annoys me maybe do that once but more than that kinda annoys me since she gets weird xD but oh well i'm sure we will do new things sometimes, but i like the days when we just talk and cuddle, since i'm pretty chilled person, that likes to play video games now and then or watch movies, so yeah but friendship seems to get better and better each time we see eachother :)

Thanks again Julie

[Princesa77]

Hi @Alex0Shaw (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=129967)

I am concerned that your 11 yo friend 'seems to get bullied a lot' is something you must tell her parents because bullying as we are aware is not acceptable neither is cyber-bullying, both can escalate quite dreadfully if it's not tackled with. To add to this, you should tell her Head of Class in writing that your friend seems to be getting bullied and you have been looking out for her.

Writing a short letter to the Head of Class will mean the teacher will action on it at their staff meeting. Written like this could help..

"Dear Head of Class (insert name),

My friend (insert her name and class at school) appears to be bullied by her peers and I am reporting this to you to take action during your next staff meeting.

Yours sincerely (insert your name and class)

and tell her parents you have also written, and print off a copy for them to see.

This opens the door to your talking to them more, and will be helpful by increasing your shyness and reticence to natter.

Your kissing her cheek is lovely enough as is a brotherly hug as it will impress on your young friend that she has someone who watches over her. I am moved that she lay her head on your shoulder while sat on the sofa. Your companionship must mean a lot to her, and her parents will have noticed and likely felt impressed their daughter has a good and trustworthy friend, and they will see how your friendship grows over the weeks to come.

Maybe you could buy her a little Christmas present, be it a CD or if she loved a soft toy like my 13 yo sister, nicknamed 'Belle. I tease her saying though she acts all grown up, still she loves her teddybears. I got a poke for that! :biggrin2:

Importantly regarding Snapchat. There has been wide concerns from parents about this social media because images can find their way onto the internet and google images. I took Belle immediately off snapchat because I'd read an online article:

https://familyshare.com/19793/10-things-parents-and-kids-should-know-about-the-snapchat-app

I feel it's important you also show that article to her parents, but speak to her first so it's not a shock if they delete the app. I became unpopular for deleting Bell's app, but she realised it was for her online safety.

I think you are being resposible for your young friend. Do feel welcome to PM me if you have any other concerns. This weekend I have band practise and a recording session, so it may take a while before I get back to reply.

All the best to you Alex :)

Julie

[Alex0Shaw]

Hi @Alex0Shaw (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=129967)

I am concerned that your 11 yo friend 'seems to get bullied a lot' is something you must tell her parents because bullying as we are aware is not acceptable neither is cyber-bullying, both can escalate quite dreadfully if it's not tackled with. To add to this, you should tell her Head of Class in writing that your friend seems to be getting bullied and you have been looking out for her.

Writing a short letter to the Head of Class will mean the teacher will action on it at their staff meeting. Written like this could help..

"Dear Head of Class (insert name),

My friend (insert her name and class at school) appears to be bullied by her peers and I am reporting this to you to take action during your next staff meeting.

Yours sincerely (insert your name and class)

and tell her parents you have also written, and print off a copy for them to see.

This opens the door to your talking to them more, and will be helpful by increasing your shyness and reticence to natter.

Your kissing her cheek is lovely enough as is a brotherly hug as it will impress on your young friend that she has someone who watches over her. I am moved that she lay her head on your shoulder while sat on the sofa. Your companionship must mean a lot to her, and her parents will have noticed and likely felt impressed their daughter has a good and trustworthy friend, and they will see how your friendship grows over the weeks to come.

Maybe you could buy her a little Christmas present, be it a CD or if she loved a soft toy like my 13 yo sister, nicknamed 'Belle. I tease her saying though she acts all grown up, still she loves her teddybears. I got a poke for that! :biggrin2:

Importantly regarding Snapchat. There has been wide concerns from parents about this social media because images can find their way onto the internet and google images. I took Belle immediately off snapchat because I'd read an online article:

https://familyshare.com/19793/10-things-parents-and-kids-should-know-about-the-snapchat-app

I feel it's important you also show that article to her parents, but speak to her first so it's not a shock if they delete the app. I became unpopular for deleting Bell's app, but she realised it was for her online safety.

I think you are being resposible for your young friend. Do feel welcome to PM me if you have any other concerns. This weekend I have band practise and a recording session, so it may take a while before I get back to reply.

All the best to you Alex :)

Julie

Her parents know about the bullying, and trying to do something about it, she has been bullied outside of school before like around her area and her parents said they have spoken to the child's mother who bullied her but about school i'm not too sure that if they know anything about it, but i'm pretty sure they do, i don't really wanna get involved with all that kind of stuff but i will be there for her when i can.

Me kissing her cheek i didn't think anything bad about it, i thought it as a nice friendly thing to do since i have seen other people do that but she has never experienced a friend kissing her cheek so that's funny :lol: i'm very glad i'm close to her, i feel like we get on very well, i have never had a friendship like this so it makes me very happy :) I feel like she trusts me also which i'm glad about, i trust her now and then... sometimes she jokes but it's whatever xd

I feel like i'm getting along with her parents well maybe not so much the dad, but he's fine with me, mother seems to talk to me now and then which is good and she seems to be happy with me :) one of her little brothers likes me hanging around which is cool i guess xD even though he can get a little bit annoying but he's a little kid, i can understand they just want attention.

I'm thinking maybe if getting her a present for Christmas i'll have to think about it, but maybe a teddy, i have a dog teddy that i sleep with and i'm 14 :D its just nice to have something to cuddle while you sleep :)

Tbh i know her mother is a little bit protective over her daughter but i see no problem with snapchat, so i'm sure it's okay a lot of teens and pre-teens do it in the UK so don't think some people care and i had Facebook when i was like 9 so.. yeah xD it'll be okay :)

Thanks again Julie

Alex

[Princesa77]

Hi @Alex0Shaw (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=129967) thanks for updating me.

Keep in contact cos I'm interested in this special friendship you have with her. Any probs, pm me or continue on your thread here.

My little sister who is very pretty recently turned 13. She has a 14 yo admirer, too. He makes her feel good about herself, and he's always welcome to visit. He's very mindful of her and that's a good sign, similar I expect to how your friend's parents feel.

Mums are protective; it's their natural instinct. Dads also though not always. A teddy bear would be great if you could find one that has a character. If you google up 'christmas presents for 11 year olds', you're sure to get inspiration. I've just found a fun penguin print bag for my little sis. I bet she'll love it.

[Alex0Shaw]

Hi @Alex0Shaw (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/member.php?u=129967) thanks for updating me.

Keep in contact cos I'm interested in this special friendship you have with her. Any probs, pm me or continue on your thread here.

My little sister who is very pretty recently turned 13. She has a 14 yo admirer, too. He makes her feel good about herself, and he's always welcome to visit. He's very mindful of her and that's a good sign, similar I expect to how your friend's parents feel.

Mums are protective; it's their natural instinct. Dads also though not always. A teddy bear would be great if you could find one that has a character. If you google up 'christmas presents for 11 year olds', you're sure to get inspiration. I've just found a fun penguin print bag for my little sis. I bet she'll love it.

Yeah sure I can do that :)
Hopefully me and her stay friends for awhile don't know what it's gonna be like when shes a teen, eh some can be okay anyways :)

[ClappingBear]

well, it doesn't really sound like a big deal to me, so I shouldn't worry too much about it :)

[ImJulia]

Sounds like you are both just being friendly

[Stanley02]

So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange. :what:

- Alex :)

It’s fine... you can have female friends without them being girlfriends

[Fourth]

So Basically i have been thinking about this..
I'm not sure what this is what friends do really okay let me give you a brief background.

I'm made friends with a 11 year old girl a few weeks ago at a youth club, and only starting coming to her house last week, she always wants me to come to her house probably cause she gets bored easily and wants company/someone to talk to

So yesterday i went to her house talking to each other, went outside for a bit to talk and play around, then went back into calm down and relax, was watching TV i was leaning towards her a bit cause i was feeling a bit tired then we cuddled each other she put my head on my shoulder and i put my head on hers.

i don't see anything wrong with it as much, i just want a opinion on what others think about this. Her parents was also there in the living room with us, not sure if they thought anything bad about it.

I guess i'm just wondering if this is okay, since me being 14 and her being 11 just thought it may be a bit strange. :what:

- Alex :)

Reading your replies to this thread, it seems like you both already know that you are just friends and nothing more. There's no wrong with cuddling or putting your head on her shoulders, especially if you are that close. I do it sometimes with my very close cousins and my close friends. Her parents doesn't mind this as well.

Maybe you are feeling off about this because you are just overwhelmed about how quick things go by since you just met her a few weeks ago. Just enjoy being friends with her and let things flow, and whenever you feel uncomfortable about how things go, you should talk to her.

[skittlesh]

Maybe she has a little crush on you but as u said just handle it

[Alex0Shaw]

Reading your replies to this thread, it seems like you both already know that you are just friends and nothing more. There's no wrong with cuddling or putting your head on her shoulders, especially if you are that close. I do it sometimes with my very close cousins and my close friends. Her parents doesn't mind this as well.

Maybe you are feeling off about this because you are just overwhelmed about how quick things go by since you just met her a few weeks ago. Just enjoy being friends with her and let things flow, and whenever you feel uncomfortable about how things go, you should talk to her.

Well recently things have been different we like to treat each,other as brother and sister now, maybe cause i'm always there for her, always see her so often, and whenever i feel anxious or upset about something sometimes i go to her mother i message her, she says i can always talk to her if I'm ever feeling depressed or something like that, so basically she's like a second mother even though most of the things i say to her i probs wouldn't say to my mum since i never really like to express my feelings unless i feel like if i don't, i would probs do something bad..

it hasn't been just cuddling, it has moved on to kissing her on the cheek and head to kissing her on the lips, nothing sexual about it, just sibling love, even though we aren't biologically siblings.

But yeah I'm pretty overwhelmed since i never had this kind of relationship with anyone in my life i don't think so this is new to me, but yeah things are going okay now i just feel like when I'm with her we don't talk as much since i don't know what to say since I'm bad at socializing.

thanks for the reply :)

Maybe she has a little crush on you but as u said just handle it

Um maybe as a big brother now since recently i haven't noticed any kind of signs of her crushing, don't think i would be able to tell xD Thanks for the reply, but yeah i think i got it handled just find it hard sometimes