Negative Relapse

[thewhiteyeezus]

Well, fuck it, i feel sad and lonely again, and hell that might not be the worst idea at my school considering most of the girls are fake cunts and the guys are douches who dont stfu about how much they lift. Thats catholic school for you. Im practically one of the quietest kids in the damn school due to the lack of anyone good to talk to. But hell i usually dont care but it recently just crossed the line. Because basically i was with one of my closest friends and a few others i knew, and one was saying how i dont talk to girls, only person nice to me is my mom, and all i do in the boys lacrosse locker room is touch other guys' nuts, next day he was making fun of me for having a gf for a week. hes called me awkward and shit for the last months ive met him in this school, and ive never been bothered by it cause he popped a girls' cherry in the school gym at 7 in the morning. But my friend wasnt defending me or anything and joining the bandwagon with everyone else in that group. So yeah, i felt betrayed and lonely the next couple of periods, and day for that matter. It then makes me remember all the bad things that happened to me in life or reasons im pathetic or whatever and yea i feel like a fucking failure. Like i literally dont act like a asshole or narcissist or anything and whoop de doo it still happens. Only reason is because of my social-anxiety behaviors, which i take medicine for. I understand some of you have been through worse, but idk if i can take this, like ive wanted to cut, commit suicide, or even murder someone :/. yeah. I dont know what to do guys, only reason i want to go to school really is because i can do lacrosse and cross country so yeah. idk what to do anymore, ive given up hope time and time, and this feels like the deep end. One more thing id like to add, my fucking spanish teacher always acts like high school is the best thing ever, like as i said if you have a brain its practically shit wherever you go, public or private. I wanna fucking bash her jesus loving brain inside i swear. oh well, id never really do that anyways which is a good thing lol

[Tarannosaurus]

You know, I think you should talk to your friend about his, he probably didn't realise you were so hurt, and talking is something that really helps when you're feeling depressed. Keeping your emotions bottled up isn't good for you because the pressure builds and builds until you just snap. Try and see if talking helps, you will probably feel a little better afterwards :)