Perceptions of Sexuality

[Sevro au Barca]

A lot of (straight) guys I know seem to be concerned about things that might make them seem "gay," like sleeping in the same bed. This is the case even with people I know are in full support of LGBT+ rights, while girls don't seem to have the same problem. I'm curious to know if everyone has experienced this, or if it's just because I live in the South.

[Sailor Mars]

Puberty for All :arrow: Teen Sexuality & Gender

This is better suited here

[Atlantis]

It's just stereotypes and I absolutely hate them. People should just be themselves and not listen to people who use stereotypes that don't even mean anything to classify people's sexualities.

[pjones]

Yeah def where I live in Florida boys are like that. Most of them are just immature

[Nnoki]

It depends in many factors, for example i have a friend and i have asked him (and only him) to a sleepover, even tough we are (were) best friends he doesn't want to come because he feels uncomfortable if it is just him and me.
As far as i know, education is a great factor here (school and parents), and also what other guys may think, reputation is also a big factor (Even when you don't do anything).

[mick01]

I'm bi and can be affectionate towards other guys. Some cringe if I try to hug them or even just put my arm around them. So ya, I agree. They might feel like what I'm doing is being gay with them. But its not at all sexual.

[ska8er]

Too much emphasis today on this that or
the other being "gay". Straight guys have
this thing that if they hug-touch or even cry
is going to make them feel less manly to their
peers. Yet in a lot of contact sports case in point
wrestling where guys have no regrets to rolling
around on the mat as long as it is in front of other
people but if they did it alone it would be rather
questionable. I know I have a best friend who is
a wrestler and he forever is telling me it is no homo.
It is as if they have to get it into their minds that there
is nothing wrong. I play soccer. We slap each other on
the butt as well as football players do. Guys share a
tent when they go camping. Do we all have to declare
to everyone that it is "no homo"? Then there is the
jacking with friends watching porn-a whole new story.
If u r comfortable with it then u don't have to question it.

[SeansLittleBro]

I'm bi and can be affectionate towards other guys. Some cringe if I try to hug them or even just put my arm around them. So ya, I agree. They might feel like what I'm doing is being gay with them. But its not at all sexual.

Yeah def where I live in Florida boys are like that. Most of them are just immature

Too much emphasis today on this that or
the other being "gay". Straight guys have
this thing that if they hug-touch or even cry
is going to make them feel less manly to their
peers. Yet in a lot of contact sports case in point
wrestling where guys have no regrets to rolling
around on the mat as long as it is in front of other
people but if they did it alone it would be rather
questionable. I know I have a best friend who is
a wrestler and he forever is telling me it is no homo.
It is as if they have to get it into their minds that there
is nothing wrong. I play soccer. We slap each other on
the butt as well as football players do. Guys share a
tent when they go camping. Do we all have to declare
to everyone that it is "no homo"? Then there is the
jacking with friends watching porn-a whole new story.
If u r comfortable with it then u don't have to question it.


A lot of good comments here. As Mick says not everything is sexual between guys. Just because you hug doesn't mean you are in LUST. Also, as pjones said it really matters WHERE you live as to the reactions to many things. I am a swimmer and like Sk8er says different sports have physical contact which is "not homo" just a way of showeing that a good play or something has happened. As a swimmer we are always exposed in a meet but if you think that is showing sexuality then you probably need to reassess your opinion of what is sexual between males. Yes I'm gay but I don't go around wanting someone and yes I will hug friends when I want and they don't think anyting of it.

[Just JT]

I’ve experienced this also, but mostly from guys who haven’t known me like all my life. I think they just don’t know how to handle it, thinking I’ll be whatever if we get nude changing or sleep in the same bed. Think that’s cause they just don’t understand enough about same sex or sexuality, or me.

But the 2 Friends I’ve had forever, 1 is bi, 1 is straight, not an issue at all. We’ve always slept in the same bed and seen each other nude at sleepovers, changing, swimming whtever. But that’s also more like a brotherly relationship.

People just need to stop being so but hurt and self centered about being nude, or sleeping with someone who’s the same sex. They think just cause I’m into guys I’m automatically into them? Not a chance

[jamie_n5]

Boys especially seem to have gayphobia and worry about silly things like this. Think about guys go camping together and other activities where you sleep in close proximity to each other. You change together at the pool or gym. I have always wondered too. Stereotypes are silly and can be really hurtful to others. Guys hug each other when making a good play or touchdown. So whoopee we are human beings and show love and compassion for one an other. Grow up and don't worry about it.

[Sevro au Barca]

I'm bi and can be affectionate towards other guys. Some cringe if I try to hug them or even just put my arm around them. So ya, I agree. They might feel like what I'm doing is being gay with them. But its not at all sexual.

I feel pretty similarly; my best friend and I don't care; we're cool with hugging and such (in fact at one point we decided to see how many people we could trick into thinking we were dating each other, just for fun)

[SethfromMI]

Some people are just immature. I have thankfully not had too many problems with it, but I am from a much more liberal city. still, every now and then people can be idiots about it, though haven't had to deal with it at all in college

[nicktheman2003]

I had to go to a weekend retreat last year. Our room had two beds,and there were 3 guys. Well we had to do rock paper or scissors to see who got the bed. Yeah i lost. No sleeping bag so I had to sleep on the floor with a blanket and a towel as a makeshift pillow. It was cold and I was freezing my balls off untill this one boy got up during the night and told me to get in bed with him because he knows its cold and there is enough room. I got in bed with him and in the morning the other boy saw us in the same bed. The teasing started with him calling us gay. They went off arguing in the bathroom. I don't know what they said but the other kid stopped with the name calling.

[Jamiec1130]

Most of the people I know are the exact same way. They think that something they do will make people call them gay. I've been called gay plenty just because of how I can act sometimes towards others. It doesn't bother me, and most people don't do it anymore because they know I'm bi.

[azurzg]

A lot of (straight) guys I know seem to be concerned about things that might make them seem "gay," like sleeping in the same bed. This is the case even with people I know are in full support of LGBT+ rights, while girls don't seem to have the same problem. I'm curious to know if everyone has experienced this, or if it's just because I live in the South.

My younger cousin is 14. In his class a bully recently said something nasty to one of the boys (calling him gay, among other things).

The most amazing thing followed ... Many of the guys (probably most of them straight) subtly changed their phone background to rainbow. This seem to have freaked out the bully as he kept noticing their phones. For a number of days now he didn't know where to look or what to say.

So, no. Not all guys are like you described.

[Sevro au Barca]

My younger cousin is 14. In his class a bully recently said something nasty to one of the boys (calling him gay, among other things).

The most amazing thing followed ... Many of the guys (probably most of them straight) subtly changed their phone background to rainbow. This seem to have freaked out the bully as he kept noticing their phones. For a number of days now he didn't know where to look or what to say.

So, no. Not all guys are like you described.

There's nothing I know to say to that other than "Awesome!"

[azurzg]

There's nothing I know to say to that other than "Awesome!"

Oh, I agree. I was so proud of my cousin and all of his friends!

[Jamiec1130]

My younger cousin is 14. In his class a bully recently said something nasty to one of the boys (calling him gay, among other things).

The most amazing thing followed ... Many of the guys (probably most of them straight) subtly changed their phone background to rainbow. This seem to have freaked out the bully as he kept noticing their phones. For a number of days now he didn't know where to look or what to say.

So, no. Not all guys are like you described.

Wow, I wish that happened at my school.

[Snowrider]

I know a few guys who are really concerned that something they might do could seem "gay" to them and others. But, most of my friends are not worried about it. I've slept in bed with straight boys and they weren't worried about it because it was better than sleeping on the floor.

[NewLeafsFan]

The fact that you live in the south has something to do with it. Here in Ontario, tht is a common fear when you are 12 or 13. But by the time we're your age, we don't care anymore.

A wise person once said, "When I was 20 I was worried about what others thought. When I was 40 I stopped caring about what people thought of me. Now at 60, I realize that no one was ever thinking about me."