Hang out with girl (my concerns)

[MrZeroDegrees]

Hi everyone,

So this is my first post ever... yaaa (heh) anyway, I go to an all-boys-school in which we also have a "sister-school". A lot of kids from my previous middle school split to my all-boys-school or all-girls-school. There was this one girl I really liked. She is like me; funny, cute (I like to think I am too), crazy, and hyper. Though I've always had concerns.

I had always told myself when I was in 8th grade that anyone I like, I shouldn't hang out with (Friends is ok but I'm talking about one-on-one time say going somewhere, eating, or just walking together). I've always told myself its just another distraction (A big one too) which will take up time and the percentage of it "working out" is very low. Why waste my time on something that will probably not work out and suffer a bit of emotional pain afterward for something I knew wouldn't work.

Either way, I really like this girl and want to hang out but the paragraph above really summarized what I've thought. What do you guys think and should I change my view and maybe ask her to hang out with me sometime?

[Dalcourt]

If you don't want to hand-out with someone just because it "might not work out" the I'm afraid you will never be able to have a relationship since this could always happen, right?

To have some distraction from school and daily stuff is okay, even necessary I'd say. It is relaxing and helps you to focus better on work you have to do when uou take a break now and then.
I mean being friends and hanging out with someone doesn't mean you have to spend 24/7 with that person.

If you like being with that girl I'd say just hang out with her and even if it isn't working out and becomes "a waste of time" I think it's at least necessary to gain some experience for your future life so I would never consider spending time with someone is a complete waste.

[NewLeafsFan]

I hope that you don't take this the wrong way but I think that your beliefs on dating are dated. We can go to school, have a job, spend time with our families, do homework, and yet we still have time to watch TV, hang out with friends, and relax. If we can fit all of these things in I think a gf is manageable.

I also think that you could be making excuses for yourself not to pursue this girl because it seems easier to forget about her then to try to make it work even though it will lead to sleepless night thinking about what could have been. For the love of God, call her, go see her and ask her out. Let us know how it goes. Good luck!

[mick01]

Everybody takes a little bit of a chance or risk when it comes to dating and asking someone out. But the payoff can be huge if you get into a nice relationship. And even if in the long run it doesn't work out, you're still adding to your life experiences, which helps you to learn about yourself and grow.

[MrZeroDegrees]

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the responses. Some seem confused but to clarify when I say it probably won't "work out", I don't mean that this girl I don't seem fit with or that I think that about all relationships, its just that being in my first year of high school without any job, starting a new school (Highschool), and the workload I may not be expecting, I just think that right now is not the right time but I'm afraid someone else might get to her first.

Hopefully, my clarification makes a bit more sense. From your responses, I may give it a shot with asking her (Just have to find out how to ask her since she is at another school and we don't see each other often anymore)

[Just JT]

I think if you go through whatever time of your life with this thinking that you'll miss out on a lota good shit in life.

Only way you'll know if a relationship with anyone will work, is to try getting to know them better. That's part of growing up. Meeting new people, who they are, and yeah, it might not go anywhere, maybe a month, or 8, who knows

But if you ignore what you think you like/want you'll never know what shoulda coulda woulda happened.

It's a balance in life is all, everyone needs a little of this and that. If that something causes a distraction....we'll that's also just kinda part of life. And that's part of the balance you needa figure out.

Go for it, see where it goes, don't pass up a good oprotunity. It may never pass you by again.

[MrZeroDegrees]

Ok thanks all for advice

[Harrier]

Some people NEVER think the time is right. Not saying you are like that or not since IDK. But imo just hang out with her and build that part of your life. Maybe you will like it and be happy. Maybe you will see it as a waste of time. you can decide that later. If you do think it's a waste of time and takes away from school simply tell her. But like i said maybe you will make a great friend, a girl friend, or a fwb if you're into that.