veru
October 11th, 2017, 06:37 PM
tl;dr: Cute, fun friend could have a fwb with, but he's never been in a relationship before and I want to approach him carefully.
--
Okay! So! First, some background information.
I'm 16, this kid's (let's call him... Bernard) 17, but he's grown up Mormon so he's lived a rather sheltered love life up until recently. He doesn't really follow the religion anymore, but that doesn't mean it hasn't influenced his character.
I've known him since 4th grade, and we've been good friends for the past few years.
Personally, I'm polyamorous, and I've had several SOs and with some I've been sexually active.
Secondly, to address the actual issue: I'm very interested in this Bernard fellow, but I don't know how to approach him for several reasons.
1. How I feel about him, myself. I get butterflies, I'm sexually attracted to him, but I still feel like we're just friends... I feel like a friends with benefits thing could be really fun with him, but...
2. because he's never been in a relationship, I don't know how he'd react to me just asking him on a date or opening the conversation about it all (like if he'd assume we'd be committed in some way afterwards). I know this is all about how I communicate to him, but I'm afraid due to his general inexperience that it wouldn't go over well.
3. The obvious fact that we're already good friends. I'm not too worried about this, as I tend to fall in love with my friends in general and have had to deal with all of this before, but its still worrying. He's a generally reserved dude, and I know that if I do this, I will have to be very careful about everything.
Does anybody have thoughts or advice? I'd greatly appreciate some!
Thanks,
Erin
--
Okay! So! First, some background information.
I'm 16, this kid's (let's call him... Bernard) 17, but he's grown up Mormon so he's lived a rather sheltered love life up until recently. He doesn't really follow the religion anymore, but that doesn't mean it hasn't influenced his character.
I've known him since 4th grade, and we've been good friends for the past few years.
Personally, I'm polyamorous, and I've had several SOs and with some I've been sexually active.
Secondly, to address the actual issue: I'm very interested in this Bernard fellow, but I don't know how to approach him for several reasons.
1. How I feel about him, myself. I get butterflies, I'm sexually attracted to him, but I still feel like we're just friends... I feel like a friends with benefits thing could be really fun with him, but...
2. because he's never been in a relationship, I don't know how he'd react to me just asking him on a date or opening the conversation about it all (like if he'd assume we'd be committed in some way afterwards). I know this is all about how I communicate to him, but I'm afraid due to his general inexperience that it wouldn't go over well.
3. The obvious fact that we're already good friends. I'm not too worried about this, as I tend to fall in love with my friends in general and have had to deal with all of this before, but its still worrying. He's a generally reserved dude, and I know that if I do this, I will have to be very careful about everything.
Does anybody have thoughts or advice? I'd greatly appreciate some!
Thanks,
Erin