Houseparty // too much or am I just afraid //

[Teenage_girl]

So let me put the story into context. I’m 13 and some of my friends are 12. Recently there was a house party and 2 people started making out and just being very touchy feely. To the point where the guy was grabbing her bum and other places. To me this seems like something that isn’t really appropriate for my age. Then I feel like I’m just scared of being touched by someone? Does anyone have some answers for me or even something to relate to???

[ska8er]

No one has the right to touch u
if u do not want it. If this behavior
is uncomfortable with u then say no
if u r faced with something like this.

[NewLeafsFan]

I don't think that it was inappropriate if it was consensual. That being said avoid situations with predators and make sure you know how to say no and what to do if your "no" is ignored.

[AmyUK]

Yeah I agree. If she was happy with it then I don't really think there's a problem. But that in no way means that it should be something you are comfortable with. If you're not, that's perfectly fine.

[mick01]

People are ready for that stuff at different times. You are clearly not ready for it and you should be happy you know that and that you wouldn't do anything you're not comfortable with. Somebody wanted to do something with me so I felt I had to and it was a disaster.

[Sheaman17]

Make sure you are very vocal and say you cannot do that

[thematt002]

I don't think it's inappropriate if they both want to. If you're scared of being touched then you're not ready yet which is totally acceptable too.

[Pultost]

I don't think I'd be comfortable either if I was at any party, and people were starting getting it on like that. There's a time and place for everything.

[Ashley2004]

That's a normal age to start experimenting imo but everyone has the right to make those choices for themselves when they feel comfortable.

[Emma1133]

I don't think it's wrong. If everyone involved was wanting to kiss and touch and stuff then I think that is ok.

[Uniquemind]

It just depends like, if their a couple, and they’re having a flirtatious moment between themselves it doesn’t really concern you. I don’t mean that in a mean way, but to highlight that within boundaries physical flirting happens with those around you.

What your feeling is a peer-pressure effect, and I think with age you’ll learn to handle these scenarios better. For instance your boundary would be if people start pressuring you to participate when you don’t want to and this includes group games (I.e. spin-the-bottle).

Other times the group environment depends on those kinds of people to be ice-breaker type people, and it helps others come out of their shell and participate in the more wild environment, but it only helps those who were 100% willing in the first place.

However there is a limit of social acceptability, especially if you are at the host’s house. Nobody should be like openly fornicating in a group dynamic, that is clearly too far.

There’s also a responsibility to verify with others being flirted with that they are comfortable with what’s happening, especially if they’re your friends, and to help provide a social excuse to get them to leave the party if they’re putting on smiles to not put off the mood of the gathering, but inside their mind is saying “I’m pretty uncomfortable please stop”.

My personal line is clothes should stay on, and as soon as I see that line’s been crossed in a group environment, I tend to deem it inappropriate, and that perhaps I should leave.

[Sailor Mars]

This was bumped :locked: