I am really miserable:Why?

[Xephinar]

:( I can't even enjoy anything anymore. I never have fun, I can never enjoy anything. I am always miserable. Just getting through the day is now difficult.

I treat my friends rude sometimes, I don't mean to but I do. My friend asked why are you so serious, why do you never joke around anymore.It sucks, because I never do joke around.

I am extremely negative, I have such a negative outlook on everything. I am never positive,ever. I don't like compliments from most people either. I enjoy when people are sad,& when there is drama.

Plus, I can get really depressed. Which is a lot. It can get really severe at times. I really don't like socializing anymore, I hate school. I don't get bullied, but I just don't want to be by people. I want to be in my room on the internet, or I want to be sleeping. I love sleeping a lot, it takes worries,anxiety, & the pains away.I

I am really tired lately, this has been within the past month. I am becoming less & less motivated in, basically,everything.

I contemplate suicide a lot. At first they were just thoughts, but,now I consider suicide fir real. I have a plan, not a date but I have a method. I really want to act on it.I feel so worthless. I don't to hang on to life anymore, I want to be gone:(

[Troye]

:( I can't even enjoy anything anymore. I never have fun, I can never enjoy anything. I am always miserable. Just getting through the day is now difficult.

I treat my friends rude sometimes, I don't mean to but I do. My friend asked why are you so serious, why do you never joke around anymore.It sucks, because I never do joke around.

I am extremely negative, I have such a negative outlook on everything. I am never positive,ever. I don't like compliments from most people either. I enjoy when people are sad,& when there is drama.

Plus, I can get really depressed. Which is a lot. It can get really severe at times. I really don't like socializing anymore, I hate school. I don't get bullied, but I just don't want to be by people. I want to be in my room on the internet, or I want to be sleeping. I love sleeping a lot, it takes worries,anxiety, & the pains away.I

I am really tired lately, this has been within the past month. I am becoming less & less motivated in, basically,everything.

I contemplate suicide a lot. At first they were just thoughts, but,now I consider suicide fir real. I have a plan, not a date but I have a method. I really want to act on it.I feel so worthless. I don't to hang on to life anymore, I want to be gone:(
Sucks that you feel this way man, I don't really know the specifics of your situation but i'm going to use a very generic statement that has helped me get through some hard times. It gets better. Trust me, after high school and you can have some freedom and genuinely be who you actually are, life improves 10 fold. Even if you chose not to go to College, life after high school is great. You have no where to go but up my man, and I encourage you to try and think of some positive things in your life. If you keep having suicidal thoughts, I highly recommend seeking help from an adult or friend you trust. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

[Synyster Shadows]

Everything will be ok, my friend. I would tell an adult about the suicidal thoughts so that you can get help for that ASAP. I agree with Troye - it gets better. It really, truly does. You can do this. Keep your head up.

[Xephinar]

Sucks that you feel this way man, I don't really know the specifics of your situation but i'm going to use a very generic statement that has helped me get through some hard times. It gets better. Trust me, after high school and you can have some freedom and genuinely be who you actually are, life improves 10 fold. Even if you chose not to go to College, life after high school is great. You have no where to go but up my man, and I encourage you to try and think of some positive things in your life. If you keep having suicidal thoughts, I highly recommend seeking help from an adult or friend you trust. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me.

It seems so difficult right now though. I'm just so depressed. I just want to start crying.

My friends asking why I'm acting like this. I do not going to come out & say that I'm severely depressed & that I want to kill myself.

I don't even know why this is happening to me. It has been over a year, close to two years. I really wish I could be happy.& not have these depressed & suicidal thoughts.

[Troye]

It seems so difficult right now though. I'm just so depressed. I just want to start crying.

My friends asking why I'm acting like this. I do not going to come out & say that I'm severely depressed & that I want to kill myself.

I don't even know why this is happening to me. It has been over a year, close to two years. I really wish I could be happy.& not have these depressed & suicidal thoughts.

I hear you, sometimes there isn't a clear answer as to why you're depressed. It can just be a multitude of small things. Since it has been this long I HIGHLY recommend you seek help from a school consular or a parent. I struggled with depression for 3 years and was finally pulled out by my amazing therapist. It may seem embarrassing but they can be lifesavers.

[Xephinar]

I hear you, sometimes there isn't a clear answer as to why you're depressed. It can just be a multitude of small things. Since it has been this long I HIGHLY recommend you seek help from a school consular or a parent. I struggled with depression for 3 years and was finally pulled out by my amazing therapist. It may seem embarrassing but they can be lifesavers.

I get what you mean.I know I should get help,but whenever I try to,I can't. I'm always to afraid, & I don't know how to get help. To tell you the truth I use to love going out, but now I just want to stay in my room

This may be weird....but, I enjoy my depression.But at the same time I want it gone.

Having it for almost two years has been really hard, I lost a friend because of this. I have came really close to doing suicide.Those thoughts of suicide are just getting worse and worse. I actually want to through with it. I really do not want to be here anymore. I just wish I was too chicken to do it.

[ksdnfkfr]

It seems so difficult right now though. I'm just so depressed. I just want to start crying.

My friends asking why I'm acting like this. I do not going to come out & say that I'm severely depressed & that I want to kill myself.

I don't even know why this is happening to me. It has been over a year, close to two years. I really wish I could be happy.& not have these depressed & suicidal thoughts.

This sounds like clinical depression to me, which is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain.
It is an illness, just like diabetes is an illness.

[Xephinar]

What even cause a chemical imbalance?