crowdlost
March 3rd, 2014, 03:17 PM
I met my girlfriend 2 years ago, but we haven't been dating since then. We first dated for like 4 months then broke up for over 9 months before we got back together. Since then, we've been steady and "just fine".
The thing is, she is going WAY too fast in the relationship. She already talks about marriage and stuff (I'm only 21 and she's 19!). I sort of just let these things slide or I change the subject or something. But I definitely don't think about marriage for at least 8 years.
It's not that I don't love her; I definitely do and when we broke up, I was devastated. It's just that I feel like I am a VERY independant person. I live alone, I eat alone, I spend most of my time alone because we can only hang out on the weekends (we live far away; I go back to my parents' on the weekends where she's just a half hour drive away). I still have not met her parents (because her mother HATES me without even knowing me) and she hasn't met mine, even though they both love her.
I'm always a very nervous, tense and anxious person. And I HATE THAT ABOUT MYSELF. I feel like we are two VERY different people. She is happy and hyper and bright. I'm just not that kind of guy, y'know?
I feel like she tries to make me jealous sometimes by telling me about these guys who texted her. I play along, pretend to be jealous and she gets happy. But in reality, I'm just NOT JEALOUS. I do care about her, and I don't want to lose her, but that sort of behavior is a major turn-off for me.
Oh, one more thing. Kind of an important one: I'm obsessive. Not about everything, just about one person. My best friend (or ex best friend, or whatever). He's a guy, and my obsession constantly makes me anxious and nervous: am I in love with him, am I gay, am I bi? It's seriously and literally a CONSTANT anxiety with me. I'm a "little" attracted to him, but DEFINITELY not attracted to other guys. He's also the exact opposite of me: he's happy, hyper, life of the party, and EXTREMELY sociable.
He's an ass, though. Just with me. Treats me like crap most of the times. I put up with up until I can't, then he goes crazy and apologizes and tries to make up with me... Seriously, constant rollercoaster of emotions.
This confusion that I live in: don't know how I feel about my girlfriend, don't know how I feel about my guy best friend... it's very stressful and has had a MAJOR effect on my college grades (where I also happen to be studying something I don't even like or enjoy), so what do you think? Crazy, right? :)
The thing is, she is going WAY too fast in the relationship. She already talks about marriage and stuff (I'm only 21 and she's 19!). I sort of just let these things slide or I change the subject or something. But I definitely don't think about marriage for at least 8 years.
It's not that I don't love her; I definitely do and when we broke up, I was devastated. It's just that I feel like I am a VERY independant person. I live alone, I eat alone, I spend most of my time alone because we can only hang out on the weekends (we live far away; I go back to my parents' on the weekends where she's just a half hour drive away). I still have not met her parents (because her mother HATES me without even knowing me) and she hasn't met mine, even though they both love her.
I'm always a very nervous, tense and anxious person. And I HATE THAT ABOUT MYSELF. I feel like we are two VERY different people. She is happy and hyper and bright. I'm just not that kind of guy, y'know?
I feel like she tries to make me jealous sometimes by telling me about these guys who texted her. I play along, pretend to be jealous and she gets happy. But in reality, I'm just NOT JEALOUS. I do care about her, and I don't want to lose her, but that sort of behavior is a major turn-off for me.
Oh, one more thing. Kind of an important one: I'm obsessive. Not about everything, just about one person. My best friend (or ex best friend, or whatever). He's a guy, and my obsession constantly makes me anxious and nervous: am I in love with him, am I gay, am I bi? It's seriously and literally a CONSTANT anxiety with me. I'm a "little" attracted to him, but DEFINITELY not attracted to other guys. He's also the exact opposite of me: he's happy, hyper, life of the party, and EXTREMELY sociable.
He's an ass, though. Just with me. Treats me like crap most of the times. I put up with up until I can't, then he goes crazy and apologizes and tries to make up with me... Seriously, constant rollercoaster of emotions.
This confusion that I live in: don't know how I feel about my girlfriend, don't know how I feel about my guy best friend... it's very stressful and has had a MAJOR effect on my college grades (where I also happen to be studying something I don't even like or enjoy), so what do you think? Crazy, right? :)