fxckyou_bye
March 2nd, 2014, 10:58 PM
To start off, my uncle and his boyfriend recently adopted a troubled 14 year old. I've known about him for over a year now, as my uncle trusted me enough to tell me the kid's life story so saying he's been through a lot in life is an understatement.
Anyways, since the first day we met, we instantly clicked. I found this quite odd though, considering my uncle had explained to me that there was a huge chance me and the kid weren't going to get along due to him being quite hyper and active and me being mellow. (and he speaks more Spanish than English) But we grew to understand each other, in a completely platonic way.
Through the past few months he's been to my house repeatedly and we'd stay up all night playing video games and watching movies.
Just last week we had a Valentine's day party at my house and for some odd reason my mom decided to by a bouncy house. It wasn't until late in the night, around 9 pm, that I wanted to go in it. Everybody else stood inside the house while I laid in the dark and looked up at the stars.
No more than 5 minutes later, I hear the sound of the backyard door open and close and the flaps to the bouncy house entrance. My cousin then laid beside me with a blanket and two pillows. We just laid there, watching the stars and talking about how life was before he was adopted into our large family.
It wasn't until I looked over at him next to me, under the moonlight that I realized how beautiful he was.
His light, naturally tanned, skin looked so smooth and his eyes sparkled so fascinatingly. He's actually pretty well built for a 14 year old as well.
I've known I was gay since the day I was born and recently got outed to my family, about a year ago. Everyone knows i'm gay except my younger siblings and, of course, my new cousin.
After that night I've started to feel different towards him. I want to constantly touch him and I've had the sudden urge to see find out what his lips taste like. I also noticed how biased I am towards him. I enjoy having him around more than I do my siblings and I admit I treat him way better than I do to my other siblings.
I don't know what it is about him that causes me to act this way.
Anyways, yesterday my family went to my uncle's house last night for dinner and we decided to take my cousin back with us for the night. Again, we played video games and watched movies until we couldn't stay awake anymore. My mother had already setup his sofa/bed in the living room so he left my room to sleep there.
As I was just about to fall asleep he sneaks in my room, trying to not wake everyone else in the house up, and drags his pillow and blanket in. He then asks if he can sleep in my room, using the excuse that he "doesn't want anyone to walk into the living while he's asleep in the morning."
Of course, I say yes and he sets up a makeshift bed on the floor. At this point I am tired yet I can't sleep so I just stare up at the ceiling. I was sure he was asleep but instead he gets up from where he is and climbs up on my bed and under my covers before finally falling asleep. I don't really understand why, but I could feel a smile tugging on my lips by the slightest touch of our skin.
The next morning we both woke up roughly at the same time and we just stood in bed talking. He's quite the smooth talker, replying with smart remarks such as, "yeah, because I'm good looking" or "because I'm so beautiful". Which I can't help but blush at.
At one point he fell back asleep but this time he had his arms wrapped around my waist and cuddled into my side. It was as if nothing in the world mattered to me at the time and my heart fluttered. Unfortunately, I forgot that my mom woke up around that time and she walked in and noticed how clingy he was. So she woke him up and called us out for breakfast.
After that, my mom started giving me odd looks whenever I would call my cousins name or whenever we almost came in contact.
So we went back in my room and started watching tv, me laying down and him sitting on the edge of my bed. I thought it would be the end of our little fictional romance but he then started to show hints of flirting ( subtle touches, etc) He constantly flick me on the ear for fun and when I would laugh and tell him to stop he would come really close to my face and tell me to do something about it, with the slightest smirk. His lips less than two inches from mine, I considered connecting ours before deciding against it.
The rest of the day went on like that until his dad came to pick him up and I kind of felt down. I felt like I needed him here.
He'll be here again next weekend but I don't know what to do about my feelings for him. I don't know if he feels the same as I do. Though he has shown little hints, it could just be a sign that he's getting more comfortable with me.
The only reason I decided against kissing him earlier today was because I was afraid of my Uncle finding out, as well as the rest of my family. I don't want my Uncle to feel like adopting his son and giving him the chance to hang out with me was a bad idea and then our relationship would be over, platonic or not.
I really just don't know how to make sense of all this and I'm sorry if it's hard to understand what I've just written but can someone please tell me what I should do? :what:
Anyways, since the first day we met, we instantly clicked. I found this quite odd though, considering my uncle had explained to me that there was a huge chance me and the kid weren't going to get along due to him being quite hyper and active and me being mellow. (and he speaks more Spanish than English) But we grew to understand each other, in a completely platonic way.
Through the past few months he's been to my house repeatedly and we'd stay up all night playing video games and watching movies.
Just last week we had a Valentine's day party at my house and for some odd reason my mom decided to by a bouncy house. It wasn't until late in the night, around 9 pm, that I wanted to go in it. Everybody else stood inside the house while I laid in the dark and looked up at the stars.
No more than 5 minutes later, I hear the sound of the backyard door open and close and the flaps to the bouncy house entrance. My cousin then laid beside me with a blanket and two pillows. We just laid there, watching the stars and talking about how life was before he was adopted into our large family.
It wasn't until I looked over at him next to me, under the moonlight that I realized how beautiful he was.
His light, naturally tanned, skin looked so smooth and his eyes sparkled so fascinatingly. He's actually pretty well built for a 14 year old as well.
I've known I was gay since the day I was born and recently got outed to my family, about a year ago. Everyone knows i'm gay except my younger siblings and, of course, my new cousin.
After that night I've started to feel different towards him. I want to constantly touch him and I've had the sudden urge to see find out what his lips taste like. I also noticed how biased I am towards him. I enjoy having him around more than I do my siblings and I admit I treat him way better than I do to my other siblings.
I don't know what it is about him that causes me to act this way.
Anyways, yesterday my family went to my uncle's house last night for dinner and we decided to take my cousin back with us for the night. Again, we played video games and watched movies until we couldn't stay awake anymore. My mother had already setup his sofa/bed in the living room so he left my room to sleep there.
As I was just about to fall asleep he sneaks in my room, trying to not wake everyone else in the house up, and drags his pillow and blanket in. He then asks if he can sleep in my room, using the excuse that he "doesn't want anyone to walk into the living while he's asleep in the morning."
Of course, I say yes and he sets up a makeshift bed on the floor. At this point I am tired yet I can't sleep so I just stare up at the ceiling. I was sure he was asleep but instead he gets up from where he is and climbs up on my bed and under my covers before finally falling asleep. I don't really understand why, but I could feel a smile tugging on my lips by the slightest touch of our skin.
The next morning we both woke up roughly at the same time and we just stood in bed talking. He's quite the smooth talker, replying with smart remarks such as, "yeah, because I'm good looking" or "because I'm so beautiful". Which I can't help but blush at.
At one point he fell back asleep but this time he had his arms wrapped around my waist and cuddled into my side. It was as if nothing in the world mattered to me at the time and my heart fluttered. Unfortunately, I forgot that my mom woke up around that time and she walked in and noticed how clingy he was. So she woke him up and called us out for breakfast.
After that, my mom started giving me odd looks whenever I would call my cousins name or whenever we almost came in contact.
So we went back in my room and started watching tv, me laying down and him sitting on the edge of my bed. I thought it would be the end of our little fictional romance but he then started to show hints of flirting ( subtle touches, etc) He constantly flick me on the ear for fun and when I would laugh and tell him to stop he would come really close to my face and tell me to do something about it, with the slightest smirk. His lips less than two inches from mine, I considered connecting ours before deciding against it.
The rest of the day went on like that until his dad came to pick him up and I kind of felt down. I felt like I needed him here.
He'll be here again next weekend but I don't know what to do about my feelings for him. I don't know if he feels the same as I do. Though he has shown little hints, it could just be a sign that he's getting more comfortable with me.
The only reason I decided against kissing him earlier today was because I was afraid of my Uncle finding out, as well as the rest of my family. I don't want my Uncle to feel like adopting his son and giving him the chance to hang out with me was a bad idea and then our relationship would be over, platonic or not.
I really just don't know how to make sense of all this and I'm sorry if it's hard to understand what I've just written but can someone please tell me what I should do? :what: