It's my drug...

[King_of_Hearts]

A week ago I cut for the first time in 9 months and broke 4 promises... As much as I am upset about the promises, I am over it. But the problem with me cutting again... I did it 15 times in 5 days... I haven't cut in a few days on account of losing my razor, but I am scared, not of cutting or becoming addicted again, but of letting more people down than I already have... Any advice on how to tone it back from 3 times a day, or quiting cutting altogether?

[Serenity.]

9 months is great! Now you have proved to yourself that you really can go without cutting. You may want to try talking to someone you trust, using alternatives, and expressing your emotions. Reaching out for help is very important and really helpful, especially when you feel the need to cut. Alternatives that you can use include exercising, reading, listening to music, and other things you can do in place of self harming. You might also want to try writing, drawing, or journaling to get out your emotions in a healthier way. Take care :).

[myfoodisnotshared]

A week ago I cut for the first time in 9 months and broke 4 promises... As much as I am upset about the promises, I am over it. But the problem with me cutting again... I did it 15 times in 5 days... I haven't cut in a few days on account of losing my razor, but I am scared, not of cutting or becoming addicted again, but of letting more people down than I already have... Any advice on how to tone it back from 3 times a day, or quiting cutting altogether?

Well that sucks:-(

The people you made these promises to, have you told them you've started again? They've been through it with you before, they could help again. And more than anything I'm sure they want to know - they've seen you addicted before, or at least know of it, and people can be a lot more understanding about relapse than the first time they hear, they've had 9 months to replay any mistakes in their minds, after all.

There's a zillion and one ways to quit cutting, though talking to someone is pretty much essential or the practical side of it becomes a lot harder. There's snapping an elastic band, drawing on red marks, picking up a new hobby (reading, exercise, music, writing, a project of some kind), using the self harm calender, anything that takes your mind of it. What did you use to quit last time? You could definitely try that again, it's worth a shot.

You'll hurt the people you love if you tell them you cut. But you'll hurt them a lot, lot more if you keep doing it, only for them to find out weeks or months down the line. I don't think you'd be 'letting them down' with a mistake, we all mess up sometimes, but you would be if you didn't tell them.

[King_of_Hearts]

Well that sucks:-(

The people you made these promises to, have you told them you've started again? They've been through it with you before, they could help again. And more than anything I'm sure they want to know - they've seen you addicted before, or at least know of it, and people can be a lot more understanding about relapse than the first time they hear, they've had 9 months to replay any mistakes in their minds, after all.

There's a zillion and one ways to quit cutting, though talking to someone is pretty much essential or the practical side of it becomes a lot harder. There's snapping an elastic band, drawing on red marks, picking up a new hobby (reading, exercise, music, writing, a project of some kind), using the self harm calender, anything that takes your mind of it. What did you use to quit last time? You could definitely try that again, it's worth a shot.

You'll hurt the people you love if you tell them you cut. But you'll hurt them a lot, lot more if you keep doing it, only for them to find out weeks or months down the line. I don't think you'd be 'letting them down' with a mistake, we all mess up sometimes, but you would be if you didn't tell them.

Music is literally my life... I play in the school band and I play guitar and I am going to take voice lessons... Music is everything to me. My dream career is to be in a band and make it big. And the thing I used last time was my promises... and before I wasn't as addicted as I am now... I would make promises again, but I dont see the point in continually breaking promises... well, that and I dont want to quit... and in regards to the people I had promises too... I told all of them immidiatly... some were more understanding than others...

[lifelies]

Holding ice is helpful...
I know this isn't really good at all but if you're a smoker then you smoke instead of cutting... When I quit smoking I cut instead of smoking, now after getting three limbs full of scars I decided to start smoking again and I haven't cut in a few weeks.
Smoking can be considered self harm... But I know this advice isn't really good lol. But if you're a smoker and don't think of smoking as self harm and you see it as a rutine thing, then you can smoke instead of cutting.
Washing your hands switching from ultra hot to cold water for a few minutes can help too.

[myfoodisnotshared]

Music is literally my life... I play in the school band and I play guitar and I am going to take voice lessons... Music is everything to me. My dream career is to be in a band and make it big. And the thing I used last time was my promises... and before I wasn't as addicted as I am now... I would make promises again, but I dont see the point in continually breaking promises... well, that and I dont want to quit... and in regards to the people I had promises too... I told all of them immidiatly... some were more understanding than others...

Then immerse yourself in it. Play music or listen to music or write music or do something whenever you want to cut. If you have tools like a razor hidden somewhere, dispose of it, now or whenever you get the chance. Set yourself aims related to cutting, perhaps once your scars have healed you could wear short sleeved t-shirts around the house every other day, or go swimming every week. Whatever you need to do, do it.

Yeah, you might break those promises, and it'll hurt them if you do. But what if you don't? It worked last time, even if it didn't last forever. Tell the people who understood before, you can trust them.

I don't want to quit either. I get the addiction - how it becomes the first thing you think of, how you can sit there with friends and just want it, how much it matters to have scars on you - but I also know the downsides. The paranoia, the fear, the feeling of emptiness, the complete lack of self worth. I don't want to stop, but I have, or I would just keep feeling like shit all the time.

Keep on with your music:-) That's really cool, that you know what you want do with your life. I just have vague plans and ideas:-)