dudeguy56
February 28th, 2014, 06:56 AM
This will be a long post, I really need help though.
Potentially relevant facts: Both of us are 16. I've never been in a relationship. She has been in a relationship. We're from Sweden.
I've liked a girl since October. We have spanish class together twice a week. I consider myself a fairly mature teenager. I'm not constantly looking for someone to be with, I waited and finally met someone whom I felt emotionally attracted to. I'm realistic and tend to have an honest outlook on everything. I say this because when I say I can't list any imperfection with her, I mean it. I'm not saying that because I'm a confused teenager with unstable emotion control. I'm saying it because she has no imperfections.
So this is what's happened since I liked her, described from my point of view and how I felt whilst it happened:
We started talking on facebook around October, I started most conversations. I didn't think she liked me but if I didn't do anything I couldn't even say I tried. Towards christmas we talked a bit more but we never hung out, during the christmas holidays I started thinking more about her and that's when I started getting more interested. I thought that I'd send a happy new year picture to her so I did and we had a short conversation.
After that I started noticing how much I actually liked her, to the point of not even being able to remotely consider being with someone else. I feared that this would lead to me ending up rejected and sad so I decided that after the christmas break I'd try to avoid her and hopefully the feelings would go away.
Start of January: The first lesson back she suggested that she, I and a mutual friend who also sat at the same table in class should watch through Sherlock. The plan to avoid her shattered the second I saw her again.
I'm not saying that I don't want to be with her. God do I want to be with her but I'm a very fragile and emotional person, these things tend to go overboard for me. Anyway, we met and had the Sherlock marathon, it was nice.
Mid January: The next time we were going to watch Sherlock the mutual friend was busy so she and I decided to watch something. We had both not seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind so we saw that. It was a great night. We watched the movie, I got to eat at her place with her parents who are really really nice and social. After that we played a bit of guitar and she even sang a little. I can remember that she said "I've sang in front of 300 people before but for some reason I get nervous singing in front of you." which I thought was odd. Overall a really nice night.
We continue to message each other on facebook and/or phone. I still start most conversations.
End of January: We get together to watch Sherlock again at my place. Nice night.
Start of February: We continue to talk, as before I start most conversations.
Mid February: We get together to watch Sherlock again at my place, nice night.
We continue to talk and I still start most conversations (keep in kind that she never minds having the conversations). She was babysitting her mothers friends kids and sent me a pic. I'm a huge babylover so I told her how cute they were and she suggested I might come with her sometime. I don't know if this means anything but maybe it means something that she's willing to invite me to do something a bit personal in a way.
On valentines day we were messaging each other. I mentioned I didn't like valentines day (which I immediately regretted, but it was too late) and she asked why. I told her it was a long and boring story. She insisted that I should tell her. I told her that I would when we were going to have our West Wing marathon (I skipped mentioning that but yeah, we had planned to have a West Wing marathon.)
So here we are, yesterday we had the West Wing marathon at my place. It wasnt really a marathon though, we watched one episode then we started playing a bit of guitar. After that she asked about the story. It is true by the way, I didn't make it up so that she could feel sorry for me.
When I was 13 I liked a girl, a lot. I started talking to her and after a while I asked if she liked anyone. She told me she liked my best friend. I don't know why but for some reason I told her I'd ask him if he liked her. He gave me a list of 5 people he liked and she was the third on the list. I got a bad conscience so I told them they liked each other and they got together. I was really depressed for a month and most people noticed but she didn't because my grandpa died the same week they got together and she thought that was why I was sad. I didn't really know my grandpa so it didn't have any effect on me really. But you'd think it would end there. No. They broke up and at least they were not together anymore. Well, turns out my other friend liked her as well and eventually they got together and I was depressed again. After a while I finally stopped liking her though.
I told her this story and she thought it was sad. I then asked about her only relationship. She said she had dated a guy for 6 months but they were only together for about a month. She said she broke up because they never did anything, just made out. Call me a whiny, soft, fragile idiot but I did not want to hear that. I like this girl very much and even if it's none of my business, I did not want to hear that they had made out. It made my stomach go tense and anxious.
We talked a bit about relationships and she didn't really say she doesn't like anyone right now. She just said something like "Now I just-..." and she didnt end the sentence (of course I'm thinking way way way too much about this). I'm genuinely not sure what she meant. She also said that she didn't like if someone had a "Love speech", it should be more natural.
Now, I've never been in a relationship, ever. Talking about this with a person whom I'm extremely interested in was hard. Even considering that she has made out with someone makes me feel bad. And that's no ones but my fault.
I know this is how a lot of people feel but I'll repeat it because I need to. I wouldn't even consider being with someone but her. It would be unfair towards that person because then I'd like someone else more. She is extremely nice, she'd never intentionally be mean towards someone. I just can't disconnect myself from the feelings I have for her. I can't focus on anyone but her. It's tiring, it sucks and I want it to stop but it wont. I don't want to ruin our friendship because it's the only exciting thing that's happened to me for a very long time.
But the stinger was for me this night that she said "It is now easier for me to tell someone that I like that I'm interested." I just feel like, if she was interested she would have said so. It's not her fault, it's my fault for getting to invested.
Anyway, after that we ate. It was a bit awkward for me because my little brother were sitting with his iPad by the kitchen table which my mother had to take away from him. We then talked a bit but it wasn't nearly as social as how it was at her place. After this I followed her to train station and said goodbye. The problem for me was that after the conversation the probability that she doesn't like me was more realistic then ever and I wasnt, no I AM not prepared for it. So I started crying on the way home.
From an outside perspective, what would you say this means? She's probably not interested is she? I so wish she was but realistically from another point of view what do you think?
And I can't just tell her that I like her because it can ruin the friendship we have, I'm too shy and she told me she doesn't like it. She dislikes "love speeches". It should be more natural.
Potentially relevant facts: Both of us are 16. I've never been in a relationship. She has been in a relationship. We're from Sweden.
I've liked a girl since October. We have spanish class together twice a week. I consider myself a fairly mature teenager. I'm not constantly looking for someone to be with, I waited and finally met someone whom I felt emotionally attracted to. I'm realistic and tend to have an honest outlook on everything. I say this because when I say I can't list any imperfection with her, I mean it. I'm not saying that because I'm a confused teenager with unstable emotion control. I'm saying it because she has no imperfections.
So this is what's happened since I liked her, described from my point of view and how I felt whilst it happened:
We started talking on facebook around October, I started most conversations. I didn't think she liked me but if I didn't do anything I couldn't even say I tried. Towards christmas we talked a bit more but we never hung out, during the christmas holidays I started thinking more about her and that's when I started getting more interested. I thought that I'd send a happy new year picture to her so I did and we had a short conversation.
After that I started noticing how much I actually liked her, to the point of not even being able to remotely consider being with someone else. I feared that this would lead to me ending up rejected and sad so I decided that after the christmas break I'd try to avoid her and hopefully the feelings would go away.
Start of January: The first lesson back she suggested that she, I and a mutual friend who also sat at the same table in class should watch through Sherlock. The plan to avoid her shattered the second I saw her again.
I'm not saying that I don't want to be with her. God do I want to be with her but I'm a very fragile and emotional person, these things tend to go overboard for me. Anyway, we met and had the Sherlock marathon, it was nice.
Mid January: The next time we were going to watch Sherlock the mutual friend was busy so she and I decided to watch something. We had both not seen Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind so we saw that. It was a great night. We watched the movie, I got to eat at her place with her parents who are really really nice and social. After that we played a bit of guitar and she even sang a little. I can remember that she said "I've sang in front of 300 people before but for some reason I get nervous singing in front of you." which I thought was odd. Overall a really nice night.
We continue to message each other on facebook and/or phone. I still start most conversations.
End of January: We get together to watch Sherlock again at my place. Nice night.
Start of February: We continue to talk, as before I start most conversations.
Mid February: We get together to watch Sherlock again at my place, nice night.
We continue to talk and I still start most conversations (keep in kind that she never minds having the conversations). She was babysitting her mothers friends kids and sent me a pic. I'm a huge babylover so I told her how cute they were and she suggested I might come with her sometime. I don't know if this means anything but maybe it means something that she's willing to invite me to do something a bit personal in a way.
On valentines day we were messaging each other. I mentioned I didn't like valentines day (which I immediately regretted, but it was too late) and she asked why. I told her it was a long and boring story. She insisted that I should tell her. I told her that I would when we were going to have our West Wing marathon (I skipped mentioning that but yeah, we had planned to have a West Wing marathon.)
So here we are, yesterday we had the West Wing marathon at my place. It wasnt really a marathon though, we watched one episode then we started playing a bit of guitar. After that she asked about the story. It is true by the way, I didn't make it up so that she could feel sorry for me.
When I was 13 I liked a girl, a lot. I started talking to her and after a while I asked if she liked anyone. She told me she liked my best friend. I don't know why but for some reason I told her I'd ask him if he liked her. He gave me a list of 5 people he liked and she was the third on the list. I got a bad conscience so I told them they liked each other and they got together. I was really depressed for a month and most people noticed but she didn't because my grandpa died the same week they got together and she thought that was why I was sad. I didn't really know my grandpa so it didn't have any effect on me really. But you'd think it would end there. No. They broke up and at least they were not together anymore. Well, turns out my other friend liked her as well and eventually they got together and I was depressed again. After a while I finally stopped liking her though.
I told her this story and she thought it was sad. I then asked about her only relationship. She said she had dated a guy for 6 months but they were only together for about a month. She said she broke up because they never did anything, just made out. Call me a whiny, soft, fragile idiot but I did not want to hear that. I like this girl very much and even if it's none of my business, I did not want to hear that they had made out. It made my stomach go tense and anxious.
We talked a bit about relationships and she didn't really say she doesn't like anyone right now. She just said something like "Now I just-..." and she didnt end the sentence (of course I'm thinking way way way too much about this). I'm genuinely not sure what she meant. She also said that she didn't like if someone had a "Love speech", it should be more natural.
Now, I've never been in a relationship, ever. Talking about this with a person whom I'm extremely interested in was hard. Even considering that she has made out with someone makes me feel bad. And that's no ones but my fault.
I know this is how a lot of people feel but I'll repeat it because I need to. I wouldn't even consider being with someone but her. It would be unfair towards that person because then I'd like someone else more. She is extremely nice, she'd never intentionally be mean towards someone. I just can't disconnect myself from the feelings I have for her. I can't focus on anyone but her. It's tiring, it sucks and I want it to stop but it wont. I don't want to ruin our friendship because it's the only exciting thing that's happened to me for a very long time.
But the stinger was for me this night that she said "It is now easier for me to tell someone that I like that I'm interested." I just feel like, if she was interested she would have said so. It's not her fault, it's my fault for getting to invested.
Anyway, after that we ate. It was a bit awkward for me because my little brother were sitting with his iPad by the kitchen table which my mother had to take away from him. We then talked a bit but it wasn't nearly as social as how it was at her place. After this I followed her to train station and said goodbye. The problem for me was that after the conversation the probability that she doesn't like me was more realistic then ever and I wasnt, no I AM not prepared for it. So I started crying on the way home.
From an outside perspective, what would you say this means? She's probably not interested is she? I so wish she was but realistically from another point of view what do you think?
And I can't just tell her that I like her because it can ruin the friendship we have, I'm too shy and she told me she doesn't like it. She dislikes "love speeches". It should be more natural.