goundy
February 28th, 2014, 04:03 AM
In my ‘pre-game’ days where my time was spent killing orcs instead of socializing, I had a pretty difficult time conversing with the opposite sex. Unless she was below average in looks, I would typically stare at the ground and talk platitudes like “yeh school sucks”, “I don’t like that teacher either” or in the case of the ex-boyfriend “yeh he sounds like a dick..”
The reason why I was like that and the reason why you are possibly like that is based on many different reasons ranging from physiological, psychological and your general social skills.
Basic Guide on How To Talk to Girls
AVOID
-Trying to impress her in anyway shape or form. The biggest road block that guys have when interacting with women is that on an unconscious or conscious level, they are trying to illicit a reaction from the girl via their wit, telling their accomplishments or their attempts at humor. In essence they are trying to impress the girl. You need to stop this kind of behavior because it’s abnormal and it’s not building the foundation for a quality interaction.
-Not being yourself. When your not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you naturally censor things you want to say or topics that interest you. For example if you love playing League of Legends and a girl asks you what you love doing, your probably going to censor the fact you love playing LoL and say you love surfing. When you lie, you unconsciously sub-communicate weakness and insecurity about yourself. Girls like confident guys and you will be far more confident telling girls how much you love playing dorky video games than how you surf.
-Being shy. As dumb as it is to tell someone to stop feeling an emotion, I tell this because to some degree, being shy is self-perpetuating. If your a shy person, it’s because your social skills aren’t up to par, your physiologically and psychologically not adapted to social interaction and all these things are outside of your control, so I understand your situation. BUT to some degree you can control how shy you are because like most shy, depressed and anxious people, identification with their plight make their condition unnecessarily worse than it has to be. A shy person can still be shy but they still have the ability to make an attempt to talk to people and act normal.
DO
-Self amusement. One of the main tenants of RSD is to seek self amusement instead of reaction from a girl. I talk about this in my ‘how to climb the social ladder article’ on my site.
“If you say something that you think is funny and laugh at it, your laughter alone will spur on others around you to laugh.People are responding to the emotional energy behind what’s being said as opposed to the actual content of what’s being said. So two people can tell the same joke but illicit completely different reactions based on how they told it. The person who says the joke purely for his own joy, will illicit the best reaction.
On the other hand, if you say it to impress, people will sense your need for their validation and feel you are week. Worse yet though, without the feeling you get from self-amusement, you don’t spur on others to laugh.
People will judge you on this as they see your trying to suck value from them because you want them to laugh in order for you to feel good. If you just self-amuse, people will take your energy and end up laughing themselves. In contrast, you offer value to them.”
-Talk about anything because anything you say has value as long as you truly believe it does. So talk about anything and everything but only say it if YOU enjoy it.
-Never be afraid to offend. Some people like to call this being unapologetic and this is basically the same idea as the last. If you feel that something has value, always say it even if it’s controversial, gross or overly sexual. This ties into the idea of being polarizing. She will either really like you because of how irreverent you are or she will hate you. This is much better than sitting in the middle and being what she calls ‘nice’. Nice is terrible. Either be that guy who she absolutely loves to death or that guy she really hates.
What I Do
I talk about anything I want. No, I don’t talk about generic stuff like “wow, I can’t believe it rained yesterday” or “today I worked”. My lifestyle is fairly eccentric and I’m extremely passionate about it. My job is about teaching guys how to meet and attract women, I love watching eFukt.com, I speak Mandarin Chinese, I love self-development books, I party allot...
Therefore I talk about skiing…
…Just kidding
I talk about all the things I am interested in. One of things I always talk about with anyone I meet is how on eFukt.com, there’s a video of a bald guy sticking his whole head in someones 'you know what' – other times I talk about how me and my friends got baked and played laser tag. I talk about hyper abrasive topics because that's my personality, the point is it's not about trying to 'win' someone over.
If a girl or even a guy doesn’t click with what I am saying, then it’s a good indicator that we won’t be good friends anyway (to which there’s no hard feelings). There’s 7 billions people on earth so not everyone has to like me but at least the people who do like me, like me allot. So talking with people shouldn’t be about getting on peoples good side but expressing your true self so you can find who you do like and who you don’t like.
Not every girl is supposed to like you. All you can do is follow the same advice your mum gave you and be yourself and see who sticks arounds :)
tl;dr
-When your not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you naturally censor things you want to say or topics that interest you
-being shy is self-perpetuating
-If you say something that you think is funny and laugh at it, your laughter alone will spur on others around you to laugh.
-talking with people shouldn’t be about getting on peoples good side but expressing your true self so you can find who you do like and who you don’t like.
The reason why I was like that and the reason why you are possibly like that is based on many different reasons ranging from physiological, psychological and your general social skills.
Basic Guide on How To Talk to Girls
AVOID
-Trying to impress her in anyway shape or form. The biggest road block that guys have when interacting with women is that on an unconscious or conscious level, they are trying to illicit a reaction from the girl via their wit, telling their accomplishments or their attempts at humor. In essence they are trying to impress the girl. You need to stop this kind of behavior because it’s abnormal and it’s not building the foundation for a quality interaction.
-Not being yourself. When your not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you naturally censor things you want to say or topics that interest you. For example if you love playing League of Legends and a girl asks you what you love doing, your probably going to censor the fact you love playing LoL and say you love surfing. When you lie, you unconsciously sub-communicate weakness and insecurity about yourself. Girls like confident guys and you will be far more confident telling girls how much you love playing dorky video games than how you surf.
-Being shy. As dumb as it is to tell someone to stop feeling an emotion, I tell this because to some degree, being shy is self-perpetuating. If your a shy person, it’s because your social skills aren’t up to par, your physiologically and psychologically not adapted to social interaction and all these things are outside of your control, so I understand your situation. BUT to some degree you can control how shy you are because like most shy, depressed and anxious people, identification with their plight make their condition unnecessarily worse than it has to be. A shy person can still be shy but they still have the ability to make an attempt to talk to people and act normal.
DO
-Self amusement. One of the main tenants of RSD is to seek self amusement instead of reaction from a girl. I talk about this in my ‘how to climb the social ladder article’ on my site.
“If you say something that you think is funny and laugh at it, your laughter alone will spur on others around you to laugh.People are responding to the emotional energy behind what’s being said as opposed to the actual content of what’s being said. So two people can tell the same joke but illicit completely different reactions based on how they told it. The person who says the joke purely for his own joy, will illicit the best reaction.
On the other hand, if you say it to impress, people will sense your need for their validation and feel you are week. Worse yet though, without the feeling you get from self-amusement, you don’t spur on others to laugh.
People will judge you on this as they see your trying to suck value from them because you want them to laugh in order for you to feel good. If you just self-amuse, people will take your energy and end up laughing themselves. In contrast, you offer value to them.”
-Talk about anything because anything you say has value as long as you truly believe it does. So talk about anything and everything but only say it if YOU enjoy it.
-Never be afraid to offend. Some people like to call this being unapologetic and this is basically the same idea as the last. If you feel that something has value, always say it even if it’s controversial, gross or overly sexual. This ties into the idea of being polarizing. She will either really like you because of how irreverent you are or she will hate you. This is much better than sitting in the middle and being what she calls ‘nice’. Nice is terrible. Either be that guy who she absolutely loves to death or that guy she really hates.
What I Do
I talk about anything I want. No, I don’t talk about generic stuff like “wow, I can’t believe it rained yesterday” or “today I worked”. My lifestyle is fairly eccentric and I’m extremely passionate about it. My job is about teaching guys how to meet and attract women, I love watching eFukt.com, I speak Mandarin Chinese, I love self-development books, I party allot...
Therefore I talk about skiing…
…Just kidding
I talk about all the things I am interested in. One of things I always talk about with anyone I meet is how on eFukt.com, there’s a video of a bald guy sticking his whole head in someones 'you know what' – other times I talk about how me and my friends got baked and played laser tag. I talk about hyper abrasive topics because that's my personality, the point is it's not about trying to 'win' someone over.
If a girl or even a guy doesn’t click with what I am saying, then it’s a good indicator that we won’t be good friends anyway (to which there’s no hard feelings). There’s 7 billions people on earth so not everyone has to like me but at least the people who do like me, like me allot. So talking with people shouldn’t be about getting on peoples good side but expressing your true self so you can find who you do like and who you don’t like.
Not every girl is supposed to like you. All you can do is follow the same advice your mum gave you and be yourself and see who sticks arounds :)
tl;dr
-When your not feeling comfortable in your own skin, you naturally censor things you want to say or topics that interest you
-being shy is self-perpetuating
-If you say something that you think is funny and laugh at it, your laughter alone will spur on others around you to laugh.
-talking with people shouldn’t be about getting on peoples good side but expressing your true self so you can find who you do like and who you don’t like.