My pessimistic view of love is getting worse

[dreamofdante]

I feel like a really old man for saying this but I don't think I believe in love anymore. I find it to be a figment of imagination just as religion is (no offense). I believe lust exists. I mean hence the breeding. But to me I just don't think love exists. To those who've felt it, it always seems like they fall out of love after a while and feel entitled to stay with the spouse just because they're supposed to. I've known so many people who claim to feel love but fall out of love after nothing and never speak again. I thought I've felt it before but I think it's my emotions getting the better of me.

So here I am, sounding like an old coot. I don't think I'll ever fall in love and it takes two to a tango so I don't think anyone will love me. Or truly express it. What do you think? Is love real?

[Vocabulous]

Love May be out there, but either way I will probably die alone amongst my cats. My body will never be found, and eventually the cats will realize I am dead and eat my face for sustenance or something.

[dreamofdante]

Love May be out there, but either way I will probably die alone amongst my cats. My body will never be found, and eventually the cats will realize I am dead and eat my face for sustenance or something.

I'll likely die similar but without cats.

[unknownuser]

Love May be out there, but either way I will probably die alone amongst my cats. My body will never be found, and eventually the cats will realize I am dead and eat my face for sustenance or something.

That's probably where my life is headed, too... :rolleyes:

[dreamofdante]

That's probably where my life is headed, too... :rolleyes:

Why do you say that?

[death-metal]

Well, my cousin who is this tall skinny bookworm "fell in love" with a girl when he was an 8th grader. He asked her out when they were in 11th and to my suprise they are still together, engaged, and about to get married.
You can see that they love each other to death right in their eyes. They have alot of arguments but at the end of the day, they cuddle and watch the TV together and do other stuffs that I don't really wanna talk about.
No matter how bad their day was, how stupid and shitty the argument was, at the end of the day, everything's allright,
They're almost 30 now...

[dreamofdante]

Well, my cousin who is this tall skinny bookworm "fell in love" with a girl when he was an 8th grader. He asked her out when they were in 11th and to my suprise they are still together, engaged, and about to get married.
You can see that they love each other to death right in their eyes. They have alot of arguments but at the end of the day, they cuddle and watch the TV together and do other stuffs that I don't really wanna talk about.
No matter how bad their day was, how stupid and shitty the argument was, at the end of the day, everything's allright,
They're almost 30 now...

Boy that makes me feel dead inside.

[death-metal]

Boy that makes me feel dead inside.

Don't worry bro! You're not alone. I know dem feels...

[dreamofdante]

Don't worry bro! You're not alone. I know dem feels...

It's a damn shame I couldn't be a person like that.

[Saint]

I never got why people feel obligated to be in a relationship at a certain age. I personally feel like relationships are more of what you can give rather than what you can take(relying for support,etc). It happens when it happens,being desperate for it for the wrong reasons usually would end up in the relationship not working out anyway. Love yourself and focus on improving who you are,your said partner would be with you when it happens :P

[dreamofdante]

I never got why people feel obligated to be in a relationship at a certain age. I personally feel like relationships are more of what you can give rather than what you can take(relying for support,etc). It happens when it happens,being desperate for it for the wrong reasons usually would end up in the relationship not working out anyway. Love yourself and focus on improving who you are,your said partner would be with you when it happens :P

Who says there's a partner? What if we just find someone compatible and roll with it. Some people might not be compatible with anyone at all. Hence the reason they stay alone.

[Saint]

Who says there's a partner? What if we just find someone compatible and roll with it. Some people might not be compatible with anyone at all. Hence the reason they stay alone.

What are the chances of you not being compatible with anyone you'll ever meet in your life? It's really zero to none if you take the time to go out and meet people. Amazing things don't usually happen in your comfort zone.part of forming a relationship is where the other person could like you for you. If you're putting up a wall,then it'll be hard for anyone to be attracted to you until you step out of it,since they don't know who they're getting involved with emotionally. Opening yourself up to friendships or relationships is the only way you'll ever find someone who knows you for you. If that isn't possible,it's a different ball game where it's best to patch yourself up first before getting involved in relationships or anything of that nature.


My bad if my previous post sounds like you should "wait it out until it happens while you don't take the steps" . I was just generally talking about some teens who seem to think that having a relationship is the key to improving on themselves as a person,which is really not the purpose of a relationship. & honestly,don't even trip. there's really no reason to be rushing on things like this in your teenage years.

And if anything I said doesn't make sense,it's probably because it's too early in the morning and I'm still a tad bit tired,lol.

[ksdnfkfr]

I feel like a really old man for saying this but I don't think I believe in love anymore. I find it to be a figment of imagination just as religion is (no offense). I believe lust exists. I mean hence the breeding. But to me I just don't think love exists. To those who've felt it, it always seems like they fall out of love after a while and feel entitled to stay with the spouse just because they're supposed to. I've known so many people who claim to feel love but fall out of love after nothing and never speak again. I thought I've felt it before but I think it's my emotions getting the better of me.

So here I am, sounding like an old coot. I don't think I'll ever fall in love and it takes two to a tango so I don't think anyone will love me. Or truly express it. What do you think? Is love real?

Could be said that love is nothing more than a chemical neurological reaction that takes place at certain times under certain circumstances.
I'm not really all that capable of it myself, most likely because of my disordered neurology. Like when I'm with my s/o the feeling of love is there. But if he moved away, it really would not impact me that hard and he would fade from my memory fairly quickly. And I don't even really feel bad about that. It's just simply a matter of brain chemistry.

[Karkat]

Well you're actually right in a way- you're just technically using the wrong terms for it.

Couples "in love" tend to have an infatuation stage known as the "honeymoon phase". It lasts for about 6 months to a year, and it can kind of get kickstarted if certain events happen, like marriage, childbirth, etc. (Though childbirth can sometimes have the opposite effect.)

HOWEVER, love ≠ infatuation. Most people do not understand romantic love as it really is. Romantic love is darn close to platonic and familial love, but like the former two, your relationship with the person is different, and that's really what changes.

Romantic love has an infatuation stage, which some platonic relationships can feel but in a different sense (ever felt the need to hang out with someone ALL THE TIME because they are SO AWESOME and they are your BEST FRIEND? Kind of the same deal.), but that's not "love". It's intensified by love, but love is really a verb, not a sensation.

So no, love as is popularly defined in media, etc. isn't technically love. It exists, but it ain't love. Love is different, and if anything, that strengthens my belief in it.

[radsniper]

don't worry i know a couple who got married when he was 80 and she was like 45ish and they loved each other very much

[dreamofdante]

What are the chances of you not being compatible with anyone you'll ever meet in your life? It's really zero to none if you take the time to go out and meet people. Amazing things don't usually happen in your comfort zone.part of forming a relationship is where the other person could like you for you. If you're putting up a wall,then it'll be hard for anyone to be attracted to you until you step out of it,since they don't know who they're getting involved with emotionally. Opening yourself up to friendships or relationships is the only way you'll ever find someone who knows you for you. If that isn't possible,it's a different ball game where it's best to patch yourself up first before getting involved in relationships or anything of that nature.


My bad if my previous post sounds like you should "wait it out until it happens while you don't take the steps" . I was just generally talking about some teens who seem to think that having a relationship is the key to improving on themselves as a person,which is really not the purpose of a relationship. & honestly,don't even trip. there's really no reason to be rushing on things like this in your teenage years.

And if anything I said doesn't make sense,it's probably because it's too early in the morning and I'm still a tad bit tired,lol.

Anymore I'm afraid to open up to anyone because I've been betrayed or stabbed in the back so many times. And it's all the time as well. As soon as I open up to someone, they hurt me and I just go back into this shell.

Could be said that love is nothing more than a chemical neurological reaction that takes place at certain times under certain circumstances.
I'm not really all that capable of it myself, most likely because of my disordered neurology. Like when I'm with my s/o the feeling of love is there. But if he moved away, it really would not impact me that hard and he would fade from my memory fairly quickly. And I don't even really feel bad about that. It's just simply a matter of brain chemistry.

Yeah that's actually a good scientific way to put it.

Well you're actually right in a way- you're just technically using the wrong terms for it.

Couples "in love" tend to have an infatuation stage known as the "honeymoon phase". It lasts for about 6 months to a year, and it can kind of get kickstarted if certain events happen, like marriage, childbirth, etc. (Though childbirth can sometimes have the opposite effect.)

HOWEVER, love ≠ infatuation. Most people do not understand romantic love as it really is. Romantic love is darn close to platonic and familial love, but like the former two, your relationship with the person is different, and that's really what changes.

Romantic love has an infatuation stage, which some platonic relationships can feel but in a different sense (ever felt the need to hang out with someone ALL THE TIME because they are SO AWESOME and they are your BEST FRIEND? Kind of the same deal.), but that's not "love". It's intensified by love, but love is really a verb, not a sensation.

So no, love as is popularly defined in media, etc. isn't technically love. It exists, but it ain't love. Love is different, and if anything, that strengthens my belief in it.

Yeah that's understandable I guess. I can't relate to feelings like that so I can't say for certain but yeah.

don't worry i know a couple who got married when he was 80 and she was like 45ish and they loved each other very much

Why shouldn't I worry? Haha

[jombo]

I feel the same. I've had feelings for multiple people yet it just seems I'm too awful for them and they don't return the feelings. :/ I'll probably die with cats. I really want to believe in love. Love is fantastic and I've always felt like I'd be fantastic in a relationship but it seems very, very unlikely. I'm sure you'll find someone at some point. Maybe the same for me too!

[AlexOnToast]

Love May be out there, but either way I will probably die alone amongst my cats. My body will never be found, and eventually the cats will realize I am dead and eat my face for sustenance or something.

Same goes for me, except it will likely be Blobfish rather than cat's.
I'm determined to be the first ever Blobfish fatality.

[dreamofdante]

I feel the same. I've had feelings for multiple people yet it just seems I'm too awful for them and they don't return the feelings. :/ I'll probably die with cats. I really want to believe in love. Love is fantastic and I've always felt like I'd be fantastic in a relationship but it seems very, very unlikely. I'm sure you'll find someone at some point. Maybe the same for me too!

I'm sure you will but I definitely won't. No one ever feels one inch of infatuation for me in real life. So it'll never happen. I'm sure you'll be fine.

[radsniper]

stay positive man i'm sure someone will show their feelings for you because they feel the same way you do they just need you to prove why they love you with some positivity even just one smile helps

[dreamofdante]

stay positive man i'm sure someone will show their feelings for you because they feel the same way you do they just need you to prove why they love you with some positivity even just one smile helps

It has yet to happen but okay. I'm not quite sure what I'd have to prove to them. The secrets I keep come out pretty quickly because they're things the person would need to know.

[jombo]

I'm sure you will but I definitely won't. No one ever feels one inch of infatuation for me in real life. So it'll never happen. I'm sure you'll be fine.

It's the same for me. I'm honestly sure you will, just get the right attitude and keep your head up.

[dreamofdante]

It's the same for me. I'm honestly sure you will, just get the right attitude and keep your head up.

I'm one of those kinds of guys that needs to see it to believe it.

[Vocabulous]

I'm determined to be the first ever Blobfish fatality.

I... Well, I mean.... At least you have goals... I guess...

[goundy]

Love exists but not in the way our society has brainwashed to believe. Society has told us that love is being with one girl forever, having 2.5 kids, a house, a dog and a white picket fence.
This is all absurd though. Love is an emotion and it exists. However it's stupid for anyone to believe that it lasts forever, you can only romantically love one person and that it's unconditional. All these things are false.

Love in the form we know it is a fairy tale. It does exist and falling in love is great but the expectations on it are absurd. You're right to be pessimistic but don't let this be the kind of thing that helps solidify a cynical worldview. The world is a beautiful place and love is an amazing thing; just don't be like the rest of the sheeple and make it your life.