tinkerhell
February 26th, 2014, 09:02 AM
TRIGGER WARNING
I can't put into words how much I am being haunted by these memories/thoughts.
(I have repressed and regained memories in the past, for example my mother's cancer+treatment, my stepdad (he died when I was 8), My grandmother's verbal abuse....all those I have regained are accurate and come back after a trigger.)
Ever since I found out that my biological dad had a sexual relationship with an "out of the closet" pedophile I have been regaining memories of sexual abuse. Lots of little things, faces, words, phrases, rooms, emotions etc but no actual...."penetration". The man I think did it I supposedly only saw once, all of which was with my mother...But I don't think she is telling me everything?
I have always wondered why I have been depressed, s/h, OCD, hate being touched, fears of men, sex etc but just put it down to being a fuck up. Now I seem to have a reason.
How do I know if these memories are real, and I am not just fabricating them to explain my issues?
I am struggling to the point of s/h, panic attacks, not sleeping etc because of this. I am so scared.
Thankyou so much for your time, I really need it tbh. At this point of time I would beg for some support. ugh im going to stop now I am sounding pathetic
I can't put into words how much I am being haunted by these memories/thoughts.
(I have repressed and regained memories in the past, for example my mother's cancer+treatment, my stepdad (he died when I was 8), My grandmother's verbal abuse....all those I have regained are accurate and come back after a trigger.)
Ever since I found out that my biological dad had a sexual relationship with an "out of the closet" pedophile I have been regaining memories of sexual abuse. Lots of little things, faces, words, phrases, rooms, emotions etc but no actual...."penetration". The man I think did it I supposedly only saw once, all of which was with my mother...But I don't think she is telling me everything?
I have always wondered why I have been depressed, s/h, OCD, hate being touched, fears of men, sex etc but just put it down to being a fuck up. Now I seem to have a reason.
How do I know if these memories are real, and I am not just fabricating them to explain my issues?
I am struggling to the point of s/h, panic attacks, not sleeping etc because of this. I am so scared.
Thankyou so much for your time, I really need it tbh. At this point of time I would beg for some support. ugh im going to stop now I am sounding pathetic