Panic (Help!)

[justindw199]

Hey guys, haven't posted here in months. Someting serious just came up.

So, I am still with the girl from my earlier posts, despite her parents basically locking her in their house until she turns 18 (with the exception of working on their farm, going to church, or retreats with her youth group (which is hard because she isn't religious, her family is)). So its been impossible to see her, and technically she isn't allowed to talk to anyone other than her family and church group. So we've been keeping in touch in secret for almost a year now and occassionally sneaking around to see each other briefly. Since I am about to leave for college, we agreed last week would be our last time we could see each other until she turns 18, which is just under two years. To spare the details, we had never fooled around before and decided to before I went away. To be completely clear, and I will swear this to my grave, we never had sex, mainly because we didn't protection. But a few days later, she says she thinks she may be pregnant. She's experiencing fatigue, cramps, sore breast, frequent urination. She also said she should have ovulated about 3 days after we messed around. I will admit we both have a tendency to overthink things, but she and I are both terrified. I just need any advice I can get right now, it feels like my entire life is about to crumble around me. I love this girl to death and I have for over a year and a half now, and I will do whatever is necessary to help her.

P.S. We have already discussed abortion and adoption are out of the question if she is pregnant.

[NerdSquared]

Well, if you didn't have sex, then you didn't get her pregnant. Simple as that. So either:

A: She isn't pregnant. This is probably most likely.

B: She is seeing someone else, who got her pregnant. Under the conditions you mentioned, this seems unlikely, but I suppose possible.

C: Maybe she drugged you or something and you had sex without you being consciously aware? Yeah, I'm grasping at straws here, but I suppose theoretically possible.

[justindw199]

Well, if you didn't have sex, then you didn't get her pregnant. Simple as that. So either:

A: She isn't pregnant. This is probably most likely.

B: She is seeing someone else, who got her pregnant. Under the conditions you mentioned, this seems unlikely, but I suppose possible.

C: Maybe she drugged you or something and you had sex without you being consciously aware? Yeah, I'm grasping at straws here, but I suppose theoretically possible.

There is no way she would have been able to drug me. We were together for all of 25 minutes. I hope B isn't true, that would be devasting to me. My major fear is that it is theoretical possible to get pregnant without having sex. I.E. sperm entering her via a finger or something like that. Sperm can live outside a body for up to two hours. But then I never ejaculated either.

Thanks for the reply btw

[Ben7]

But if you're sure you didn't have sex, then there is no way possible she could be pregnant. So either you did have sex or you didn't. That may depend on however you define "sex" I suppose, since I've heard different people regard it differently. If you are absolutely sure there is nothing you did that could have led to your semen entering her vagina, then you shouldn't worry about that as a possibility. It could be that there is some other thing going on with her (i.e. health condition/illness/maybe psychosomatic perception). What did you do when you "fooled around"? I really don't think she could be pregnant at any rate. Did she take one of those pregnancy tests that you can get at most drugstores?

[Coolteenboy]

There is no way she would have been able to drug me. We were together for all of 25 minutes. I hope B isn't true, that would be devasting to me. My major fear is that it is theoretical possible to get pregnant without having sex. I.E. sperm entering her via a finger or something like that. Sperm can live outside a body for up to two hours. But then I never ejaculated either.

Thanks for the reply btw
Not to scare u, but if u were messing arund, most likely there was precum

If thats the case, and she came into vaginal contact with it. It is theoretically possible. There is more sperm in precum than in actual ejaculate.

[SethfromMI]

^ that is indeed a very realistic possibility if you two made out naked or whatever. if that is not the case, as others mentioned (if you did indeed didn't have sex), then she is either not pregnant or having sex with someone else. realistically speaking it is only a matter of time before it is going to be obvious she is pregnant. if she is, well then, eventually, a test will be able to prove if it is your child or not.

for the time being try not to panic. panic will not help anyone in this situation. what is going to happen (or not happen) now is going to happen (or not happen). There are no lectures to give. just try to be calm, be there for her and then wait to see what is going to happen

[Uniquemind]

The fear and anxiety itself might be delaying the period too.

So at this point I recommend getting a test to her somehow.

[justindw199]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Her period has started since my last post. So we're in the clear.

[INACTIVEchaosphere]

Honestly, it sounds pretty unlikely that she's pregnant. Glad to hear that her menstruation is going as normal, but still keep an eye on the situation.

[azurzg]

Glad you're "in the clear". And in the future ... don't panic every time she's a few days late.

[SethfromMI]

Thanks for the replies everyone. Her period has started since my last post. So we're in the clear.

glad everything is ok. let this be a learning experience.

Glad you're "in the clear". And in the future ... don't panic every time she's a few days late.

this is def true, considering their circumstances though, I can understand why they were worried