He said he loved me

[Equinox1]

I've already posted about my crush before but it doesn't seem like much has happened since. He's been really busy, trying to save up for college since he's 19 this year and wants to move out in order to study psychology. And plus, I'm graduating high school this year so that's put extra work on me. So we haven't been talking as often, sometimes I'd send him messages online but he'd forget to reply and vice versa. I felt bad for sending him so many messages and I apologized for being annoying, he told me I never annoyed him. And he is asexual by the way but likes guys romantically...he knows I'm gay and he knows I'm FTM because he's FTM too so there's no issue there. The only thing that changed a lot is we started sending music, things we'd written, book and movie suggestions back and forth. The conversations got a bit deeper and he'd tell me stuff about his family he'd never said before. I feel like the conversations were a bit more open in general, if that makes sense.

I didn't want to tell him, because he was already suffering through a bad depressive episode, like the worst he's had since 13/14. But someone else must've told him I was feeling suicidal again. So he sent me a message with these two massive music playlists and said that they were what he used to listen to back when he was considering suicide. It was a short message but at the end, he told me he loved me. Only he called me bro so I'm guessing it doesn't mean what I want it to mean...but he's never said that before, he's always said he "cares about me" but I always guessed what that really meant. I did say that nobody loved me so he was probably just saying that to make me feel better.

Could it really mean anything or is this just wishful thinking?

[jamie_n5]

No I truly think he meant it that he loves you. Look how much he has opened up to you and told you things about family and personal things. I think it sounds like you two are very close. Make sure to tell him you love him too and for making your day when he said he loves you.
If you are still feeling suicidal please see a doctor and get help for your depression. Remember suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

[Phosphene]

How could it not mean anything when he's disclosed so much to you? I can see why his adding "bro" made you doubtful of how he meant it, but really from everything you've said about your relationship, you shouldn't feel like it subtracts from the meaning. It's clear he trusts and cares for you a lot.

And please, talk to someone about your suicidal feelings if you haven't already. It will only get worse if you do nothing. Having someone who's gone through the same thing will help you as well, so never think you're bothering him by talking to him about it. I know that's not easy... I tell myself I bother people by talking to them about my problems all the time. Just try to be as open with him as possible.

[Equinox1]

Okay he also gave me his Skype name because he wants us to talk more and he's on Skype more often apparently...
And yes, we are close. We've known each other since I was 14 and he was 16. I'll be 17 this year and he'll be 19.