Freaked 0.0

[Hallie]

So today I cut myself for the millionth time. It's not a huge surprise, but I cut deep like I often do, and I had to hold my arm high and put pressure on it for several minutes to get the bleeding to stop. The thing is, I'm performing tomorrow and I'll be playing piano (on a keyboard with weighted keys), and while i was practicing tonight, the cuts started bleeding again a hell of a lot and it got all over what I was wearing and I had to tell my mom I got a bloody nose.

Anyway, I'm just really freaked out that it'll happen again tomorrow while I'm playing the piano on stage. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you :)

[myfoodisnotshared]

Okay firstly, don't cut again before your perform, it'll 'distract' your body. Bandage up well, and if you can put some Neosporin, or similar antibacterial cream on the pad of the bandage. You will need about the size of a dime/small coin, spread the ointment around with a cotton swab. Otherwise clean gently, very gently with a mild soap and running luke-warm water. Make sure the bandage is tight but not too tight, so it doesn't hurt or restrict your ability to move and play. Wear some kind of baggy shirt to cover it up on stage. Do you have a skin tight top, long sleeved? The best thing would be to wear that pulled up to the elbows and then a looser top over it. That way the bandage can't be seen, but if all goes wrong then you have the skin tight top to soak up the blood.

However... best thing for it is to not cut deep (or at all!). It's not just piano, it could be anywhere, school, reaching for something on a shelf, carrying something heavy, scraped along a wall at a festival... deep cuts are just a nightmare, personally I've always been terrified of them. Shallow cuts are of course bad as well, but they heal faster and better and they give you the peace of mind. Is it really worth it, when you end up with a mess like this? There's also of course increased risk of infection or serious damage.

It seems hypocritical to tell you to 'not cut', as I still do, but take care of yourself. You don't have to cut this way, you can do something different, something with less problems attached. And one day you're going to want to stop, and when you do, it'll be so much easier if your scars are faded rather than vivid red for weeks or months on end.

And good luck with your piano:-)