I don't know what's wrong with me

[sketchyheart]

Alright, there's this girl. We used to be closer than anything, but after some crap happened, I consider her as my ex-best friend (No idea if she feels that way too). She's also my cousin but we're the same age so.
Anyways, since our families are pretty close, we still talk and all. Just casual conversation, you know? The problem is, for some reason I've been feeling so angry with her and I can't understand why. When she says stuff I don't like I get so angry and I wanna scream. Like I literally get mad at almost anything she says to me, and I don't understand why. Maybe I just don't want her talking to me at all? Thing is, she HAS said some offensive things that really did hurt me (and she's apologised for that) but honestly I think I'm just overreacting and finding any excuse to get mad at her. She knows this too, I apologised and told her I'd change but for some reason these angry feelings for her won't go away?? Why do I feel so happy when I'm away from her, and terrible when I'm around her?

I think it's cause whenever I see her, talk to her, think of her..I think of all the crap that happened between us (it wasn't fighting by the way) and I remember how badly I screwed up which caused me to lose her. And I just want her to go away so all these memories can stop torturing me.

I just want to forget her already.

[Ran_Rosalinda]

Alright, there's this girl. We used to be closer than anything, but after some crap happened, I consider her as my ex-best friend (No idea if she feels that way too). She's also my cousin but we're the same age so.
Anyways, since our families are pretty close, we still talk and all. Just casual conversation, you know? The problem is, for some reason I've been feeling so angry with her and I can't understand why. When she says stuff I don't like I get so angry and I wanna scream. Like I literally get mad at almost anything she says to me, and I don't understand why. Maybe I just don't want her talking to me at all? Thing is, she HAS said some offensive things that really did hurt me (and she's apologised for that) but honestly I think I'm just overreacting and finding any excuse to get mad at her. She knows this too, I apologised and told her I'd change but for some reason these angry feelings for her won't go away?? Why do I feel so happy when I'm away from her, and terrible when I'm around her?

I think it's cause whenever I see her, talk to her, think of her..I think of all the crap that happened between us (it wasn't fighting by the way) and I remember how badly I screwed up which caused me to lose her. And I just want her to go away so all these memories can stop torturing me.

I just want to forget her already.


I think that you feel so angry at her because you just can't forget how painful were the offensive things she said to you, and as you said, you remember everything of those things that happened to both of you so you become so angry, i think you should stay away from her for some time, and see if you are going to miss her, or maybe feel the want to talk to her again, maybe the anger will dissapear.
if not; Then know that you may never be able to forgive her for what she've done and that you two can not return as before, so you unfourtunately, must avoid her.

[Just JT]

Anger and rage comes from all different places. If you let it rip you you'll have problems you can't control. Better to find that out now than later

I think from a couple other threads you made, I getwhere it might be coming from. And that's normal. And probably not a ride you should be going on alone.

Nothing to be embarrassed about to need a helping hand ok? Most of us do here from time to time.
I'd seek out a counselor to talk to, a professional. To help you sort this stuff out

Anger and rage is a terrible thing. It's the worst thing
Out there and it can literally ruin your life. Talk to so
Done please!

[sketchyheart]

I don't have anyone to talk to is the thing. I go to online school so I'm at home all day and there aren't any counselors or anything like that.

Like I'm just so angry at her, but I miss her at the same time. Maybe I'm angry that I miss her cause I know we can't have that friendship we once did. Maybe I'm jealous that she has everything and her parents give her whatever she wants. Either way it's pretty impossible to avoid her, since our families are close. I'd like to avoid her family all together honestly.