is it wrong to find a person more attractive than your boyfriend?

[biancas]

i do but he's 3 times elder than my boyfriend so he's probably off limits.
do you find a person hotter than your lover ever?

[Hideous]

Do I find people cute? Sure. Do I find them attractive? Probably not. My mind is set on my boyfriend, nobody else. Appearance and personality wise, my bf is at the top. I would never compare my bf to someone irrelevant just because I may or may not find them more attractive.

Honest advice: relationships aren't easy, if you're getting pulled away from your boyfriend thinking about other people, then I don't really think a relationship is right for you.

[Trivium]

I think it's very natural to be attracted to many people. When with a boyfriend, you can still grow feelings for someone else, proving your current relationship to not be right. It's really all up to the individuals involved.

[ClaraWho]

Do I find people cute? Sure. Do I find them attractive? Probably not. My mind is set on my boyfriend, nobody else. Appearance and personality wise, my bf is at the top. I would never compare my bf to someone irrelevant just because I may or may not find them more attractive.

Honest advice: relationships aren't easy, if you're getting pulled away from your boyfriend thinking about other people, then I don't really think a relationship is right for you.

Preach.

~ Clara

[biancas]

Do I find people cute? Sure. Do I find them attractive? Probably not. My mind is set on my boyfriend, nobody else. Appearance and personality wise, my bf is at the top. I would never compare my bf to someone irrelevant just because I may or may not find them more attractive.

Honest advice: relationships aren't easy, if you're getting pulled away from your boyfriend thinking about other people, then I don't really think a relationship is right for you.

that's ok i don't want a relationwhip with the most attractive person, i'm most aroused by him but he's over 40 so probably too big of a gap to work out.
my bf is the best personality, just that the elder guy has more good looks to arouse :P

I think it's very natural to be attracted to many people. When with a boyfriend, you can still grow feelings for someone else, proving your current relationship to not be right. It's really all up to the individuals involved.

its hard to judge cos i'm not in a relationship with my tutor even though he's sexual. probably my bf is the best for a relationship :)

[Just JT]

I think there are many things that play a part into a person you want to be in a relationship with. Some of it is physical looks sure. Others are their personality and how they treat you and other people, what kinda person they are

Will ther be other people you see or meet that are better or "hotter" than your bf? He'll yeah there will be. But you don't know them.

Your having like a crush based on physical appearance alone. And I think some of that is normal as we like all different characteristics in people. So don't worry to much about it

But if your thinking of acting on those feeling cause of someone's physical looks alone, then drop your bf and do as you please so you only hurt yourself. Not everyone you have an attraction to, and your bf.

Just saying, there's a difference

[Croconaw]

Do I find people cute? Sure. Do I find them attractive? Probably not. My mind is set on my boyfriend, nobody else. Appearance and personality wise, my bf is at the top. I would never compare my bf to someone irrelevant just because I may or may not find them more attractive.

Honest advice: relationships aren't easy, if you're getting pulled away from your boyfriend thinking about other people, then I don't really think a relationship is right for you.
This is perfectly said. I agree.

[biancas]

I think there are many things that play a part into a person you want to be in a relationship with. Some of it is physical looks sure. Others are their personality and how they treat you and other people, what kinda person they are

Will ther be other people you see or meet that are better or "hotter" than your bf? He'll yeah there will be. But you don't know them.

Your having like a crush based on physical appearance alone. And I think some of that is normal as we like all different characteristics in people. So don't worry to much about it

But if your thinking of acting on those feeling cause of someone's physical looks alone, then drop your bf and do as you please so you only hurt yourself. Not everyone you have an attraction to, and your bf.

Just saying, there's a difference

i think if i only am excited cos of a tutors appearance i can imagine him at night for fun :cloud9: but for a relationship i only want my boyfriend :love: :kissfriend:

[ska8er]

That would b cheating and its
not cool. B satisfied with u have
or u will end up with no one.

[Miss Ophelia]

i think if i only am excited cos of a tutors appearance i can imagine him at night for fun :cloud9: but for a relationship i only want my boyfriend :love: :kissfriend:

Imagining and fantasies are one thing, but are often best left at that.:)

[messid]

I think it's okay to be attracted to somebody else other than your boyfriend or girlfriend...it's pretty natural... I asked my dad about it one time and he said that it's a temptation that every person has, man or woman, and how we respond to that temptation (by either resisting it or indulging it) shows how dedicated (or not) we are to our partners!!

[Fourth]

For me it's okay only to appreciate others looks rather than be attracted. It might be infatuation if you're only attracted because that person arouses you sexually. You're in a relationship right now because of how he treats you and how he makes you special and you should focus on that.

It's alright to look and appreciate how others look but if most of the time you focus on what your partner does not have rather than what he does, you should re-think being in that relationship.

[IzzyB]

Right, I mean we're all human, so we can be close to someone but of course we can look at someone else and think "hey they are attractive!" but just don't act on it! Big difference there I think.

[biancas]

That would b cheating and its
not cool. B satisfied with u have
or u will end up with no one.

i only finger, not actually in bed with him :disgust:

Imagining and fantasies are one thing, but are often best left at that.:)

i fantasize only :yes:

I think it's okay to be attracted to somebody else other than your boyfriend or girlfriend...it's pretty natural... I asked my dad about it one time and he said that it's a temptation that every person has, man or woman, and how we respond to that temptation (by either resisting it or indulging it) shows how dedicated (or not) we are to our partners!!

i'd love to marry my boyfriend, whereaz i have sexy feelings about my tutor but not wanna marry him :)

For me it's okay only to appreciate others looks rather than be attracted. It might be infatuation if you're only attracted because that person arouses you sexually. You're in a relationship right now because of how he treats you and how he makes you special and you should focus on that.

It's alright to look and appreciate how others look but if most of the time you focus on what your partner does not have rather than what he does, you should re-think being in that relationship.

i don't think my boyfriend lacks anything, i cuddle him as much as we can :wub:

Right, I mean we're all human, so we can be close to someone but of course we can look at someone else and think "hey they are attractive!" but just don't act on it! Big difference there I think.

which things are meant when you said act on it? :)

[ClaraWho]

Performing sexual acts on yourself whilst thinking about anyone but your partner to me is highly questionable. Certainly if my fantasies drifted to others, I would end my current relationship. Would you honestly be okay knowing your partner preferred thinking about someone else having sex with him, other than you?

What I will say now I have seen your age, is you honestly are too young to really be having sex or thinking a relationship is 'serious'. Every 13 yr old thinks they are older than they really are, I know I did. It is only in hindsight you will realise how little of a clue you had. It's one of those ironies, when you are a younger teen you think you know way more than you do. Then, so I'm told, the older you get the less you realise you and everyone else really knows, and how clueless you were back then. Our minds aren't fully developed until after atleast 20. Be sensible.

~ Clara

~ Clara

[swiftshadowolf]

Nope.

[biancas]

Performing sexual acts on yourself whilst thinking about anyone but your partner to me is highly questionable. Certainly if my fantasies drifted to others, I would end my current relationship. Would you honestly be okay knowing your partner preferred thinking about someone else having sex with him, other than you?

What I will say now I have seen your age, is you honestly are too young to really be having sex or thinking a relationship is 'serious'. Every 13 yr old thinks they are older than they really are, I know I did. It is only in hindsight you will realise how little of a clue you had. It's one of those ironies, when you are a younger teen you think you know way more than you do. Then, so I'm told, the older you get the less you realise you and everyone else really knows, and how clueless you were back then. Our minds aren't fully developed until after atleast 20. Be sensible.

~ Clara

~ Clara

i agree i promised my dad i would not have sex till marriage :daisy:

[bigwolf2]

It is okay to find someone more attractive than your partner. It is quite normal, and I bet he finds some other girls more attractive than you. What is not okay is to cheat on him with the guy you find more attractive than him (if your relationship is monogamous, and I am guessing it is).

[biancas]

It is okay to find someone more attractive than your partner. It is quite normal, and I bet he finds some other girls more attractive than you. What is not okay is to cheat on him with the guy you find more attractive than him (if your relationship is monogamous, and I am guessing it is).
i stare at guys but i never cheat :D
i overheard my bf talking to another boy when i was walking up behind them and my bf was talking about someones boobs :(
i asked but he said he was talking about foods.

[bigwolf2]

i stare at guys but i never cheat :D
i overheard my bf talking to another boy when i was walking up behind them and my bf was talking about someones boobs :(
i asked but he said he was talking about foods.

So it is okay.
That is normal. Guys sometimes talk about such things (and so do girls). This does not mean he will cheat on you.

[biancas]

So it is okay.
That is normal. Guys sometimes talk about such things (and so do girls). This does not mean he will cheat on you.

i'd marry my boyfriend if i was eld enough, so i'm glad he won't cheat :oh:
and we had a big thing happen today so we are for sure serious :)

[shy_indian_chick]

i'd marry my boyfriend if i was eld enough, so i'm glad he won't cheat :oh:
and we had a big thing happen today so we are for sure serious :)

I know that you're young, and honestly I'm not trying to give you a lecture here, but I really think you need to understand that marriage is intended to be a serious, life-long commitment. According to your posts you've been dating this boy since March 12. Today is the 29th. That is just over 2 weeks, and you're already saying "I'd marry my boyfriend." The fact of the matter is VERY few relationships that begin that early eventually lead to marriage, and I'm afraid you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Believe me, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement of having your first boyfriend, particularly with hormones raging at that age, but try to keep things in perspective. Since you're about 13 and you've been dating him for 17 days, you have been in a relationship with him for 0.35% of your life thus far. Less than half a percent. According to http://www.geoba.se/population.php?pc=world&type=15 the average female life span is around 80 years (in both the US and Australia). That means you have around 84% of your life still ahead of you. Do you really think making a commitment to someone you've known for less than 1% of your life so far, for the remaining 84%, seems like a good idea?

Like I said, not trying to give you a lecture. And I apologize for making you read all that - I'm kind of a math nerd, can't help it lol.

Also, regarding what bigwolf2 said, he's right in that a boy talking about another girl's appearance doesn't necessarily mean he will cheat, but it doesn't mean he won't either. It really doesn't mean anything for certain.

I think probably the best overall advice I can give you would be to focus on getting to know each other better first, before rushing into anything regarding your relationship.

[teddyxen]

Honestly it depends how your relationship is. If you're happy with your boyfriend there's no harm if finding other people to be good looking or cute. But if you're unhappy and are actually developing emotional attraction then there may be an issue

[biancas]

I know that you're young, and honestly I'm not trying to give you a lecture here, but I really think you need to understand that marriage is intended to be a serious, life-long commitment. According to your posts you've been dating this boy since March 12. Today is the 29th. That is just over 2 weeks, and you're already saying "I'd marry my boyfriend." The fact of the matter is VERY few relationships that begin that early eventually lead to marriage, and I'm afraid you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Believe me, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement of having your first boyfriend, particularly with hormones raging at that age, but try to keep things in perspective. Since you're about 13 and you've been dating him for 17 days, you have been in a relationship with him for 0.35% of your life thus far. Less than half a percent. According to http://www.geoba.se/population.php?pc=world&type=15 the average female life span is around 80 years (in both the US and Australia). That means you have around 84% of your life still ahead of you. Do you really think making a commitment to someone you've known for less than 1% of your life so far, for the remaining 84%, seems like a good idea?

Like I said, not trying to give you a lecture. And I apologize for making you read all that - I'm kind of a math nerd, can't help it lol.

Also, regarding what bigwolf2 said, he's right in that a boy talking about another girl's appearance doesn't necessarily mean he will cheat, but it doesn't mean he won't either. It really doesn't mean anything for certain.

I think probably the best overall advice I can give you would be to focus on getting to know each other better first, before rushing into anything regarding your relationship.

i think about marriage a lot, so i agree about it being VERY serious.
when you said very few relationships begin that early and finish in marriage do you mean like a quarter? hard to measure that stat i guess :(
do people who marry feel their hormones raging too or just 1st timers?
we knew eachothers personalities very well cos we did not go to bed together so i guess that helped personality-wise :cuddle:
the last 2 times we were alone i placed my hand inside his pants so we know eachother sexually for the 1st time!

Honestly it depends how your relationship is. If you're happy with your boyfriend there's no harm if finding other people to be good looking or cute. But if you're unhappy and are actually developing emotional attraction then there may be an issue

my feelings weren't emotion to other guys, it was just naughty feelings but since starting sex with him kind of the last 2 times i now feel more mature and not staring at other guys.

[shy_indian_chick]

i think about marriage a lot, so i agree about it being VERY serious.
when you said very few relationships begin that early and finish in marriage do you mean like a quarter? hard to measure that stat i guess :(
do people who marry feel their hormones raging too or just 1st timers?
we knew eachothers personalities very well cos we did not go to bed together so i guess that helped personality-wise :cuddle:
the last 2 times we were alone i placed my hand inside his pants so we know eachother sexually for the 1st time!



my feelings weren't emotion to other guys, it was just naughty feelings but since starting sex with him kind of the last 2 times i now feel more mature and not staring at other guys.

Yes, that is pretty hard to measure statistically, but it's probably not even close to a quarter (25%). According to http://brandongaille.com/20-high-school-sweethearts-marriage-statistics/ : "Less than 2% of all marriages are actually to a high school sweetheart." That is for high school couples, and you are even younger than that. So it would be significantly less than 2%.

It's good that you care about him and all, just don't give yourself unrealistic expectations.

[Uniquemind]

Also might I add that it's common to develop a crush on a person who has some kind of leadership over you.

Psychologically I think a lot of us find comfort in the "I'm safe and comfortable" feeling a guy can provide when he's teaching or showing us something within a respectful environment.

All the ingredients are there to be charmed and it's no wonder attractions throughout history have occurred between older guys and younger girls for that reason. It however for this reason has a lot of potential danger too.

I'd recommend stick to your fantasies, even studies who interview married couples admit in studies anonymously that they partake in dirty fantasies of someone else other than their partner (a celebrity, a coworker, someone in class).

I do think it's important to take away and learn what you did find attractive in your older tutor, so that you know objectively what qualities you are looking for in an ideal partner.

It's highly possible those standards you are looking for might be universal qualities you seek out in any future potential partner, or would like to see be developed in your current relationship partner as it matures.

[biancas]

Yes, that is pretty hard to measure statistically, but it's probably not even close to a quarter (25%). According to http://brandongaille.com/20-high-school-sweethearts-marriage-statistics/ : "Less than 2% of all marriages are actually to a high school sweetheart." That is for high school couples, and you are even younger than that. So it would be significantly less than 2%.

It's good that you care about him and all, just don't give yourself unrealistic expectations.

2% is really tiny and disappointing :(
we both go to church everyweek at least so not all couples are like us.

Also might I add that it's common to develop a crush on a person who has some kind of leadership over you.

Psychologically I think a lot of us find comfort in the "I'm safe and comfortable" feeling a guy can provide when he's teaching or showing us something within a respectful environment.

All the ingredients are there to be charmed and it's no wonder attractions throughout history have occurred between older guys and younger girls for that reason. It however for this reason has a lot of potential danger too.

I'd recommend stick to your fantasies, even studies who interview married couples admit in studies anonymously that they partake in dirty fantasies of someone else other than their partner (a celebrity, a coworker, someone in class).

I do think it's important to take away and learn what you did find attractive in your older tutor, so that you know objectively what qualities you are looking for in an ideal partner.

It's highly possible those standards you are looking for might be universal qualities you seek out in any future potential partner, or would like to see be developed in your current relationship partner as it matures.

yeah my bf is 17 and i'm 13 so its like that maybe for us too.
my tutor is the only male that dad lets in the home for me so its pretty special in that way :) but the only guy i've touched in the pants of is my bf have done 3 times this week at picnics with my bf.

[Salad_Baby]

Following from what shy_indian_chick said, I think it's really great that you've managed to find someone who, as you've said, you feel you have a good relationship and bond with. Not many people do at your age. But, it's easy to become swept up in the idea that this person, your first love, is 'the one'. I certainly thought that in my previous relationship, which happened to be my first 'serious one' too.

As was said, you've only been dating each other for around 2-3 weeks - you really need to keep things in perspective so you don't feel let down. That's not me saying "don't bother, it won't work out" - have fun, by all means, but don't feel as your life is a complete lie, or that you're somehow incompatible in a relationship, if it ends. You will meet HUNDREDS of people in your life - plenty of opportunity.

Also your question about hormones and marriage - marriage is, usually, something that happens after the 'hormone phase' has passed. Marriage is more than just "I want to have sex with this person", or "I like hanging out with this person after school". It's a bond, a commitment, and a special tie with another individual who you may hold for YEARS. It isn't something to be taken lightly.

[biancas]

Following from what shy_indian_chick said, I think it's really great that you've managed to find someone who, as you've said, you feel you have a good relationship and bond with. Not many people do at your age. But, it's easy to become swept up in the idea that this person, your first love, is 'the one'. I certainly thought that in my previous relationship, which happened to be my first 'serious one' too.

As was said, you've only been dating each other for around 2-3 weeks - you really need to keep things in perspective so you don't feel let down. That's not me saying "don't bother, it won't work out" - have fun, by all means, but don't feel as your life is a complete lie, or that you're somehow incompatible in a relationship, if it ends. You will meet HUNDREDS of people in your life - plenty of opportunity.

Also your question about hormones and marriage - marriage is, usually, something that happens after the 'hormone phase' has passed. Marriage is more than just "I want to have sex with this person", or "I like hanging out with this person after school". It's a bond, a commitment, and a special tie with another individual who you may hold for YEARS. It isn't something to be taken lightly.

did your previous relationship feel like love before being touched? i felt love for my bf even before touching in his pants :yes:

yep i agree, a boy asked me to the swimming pool a week ago so if my bf hurts me i could stull have a bf.

thats good! if we marry when i turn 18 then we would been past the hormones phase i guess :)

[Bontigo Papi .]

it's normal but that's where loyalty comes in .

[beckiirs]

No! There are lots of attractive people out there, male and female and it is human nature to find them as attractive as they are! You cannot control that other people may be more attractive than your partner. Doesn't mean you are a cheat or anything else. I find lots of other people attractive but I would never cross the line and I've been with my boyfriend 3 and a half years :)

[JakeyZ]

Yeah that's pretty normal

[GCCavies]

I think it's very natural to be attracted to many people. When with a boyfriend, you can still grow feelings for someone else, proving your current relationship to not be right. It's really all up to the individuals involved.

Exactly. we cannot control who we are physically attracted to