Age in Dating

[Reedflower]

I'm a 16 year old girl. I don't have friends my own age, just people I hang out with sometimes but have zero emotional connection with. I've met friends through my business, but all of them are in their 20s. When I started out my age seemed to be a novelty ("Wow! You're 14? I wouldn't have the courage to put my work out there at that age." and the like) but as I get older it matters less and less. I don't look or act my age. Age rarely comes up anymore and when it does people are extremely surprised that I'm 16. Really, the only restrictions at this point are that I can't drive on my own and I can't get into bars.

The issue is when it comes to dating. 16 is the age of consent here so it's not a legal issue, but it is a social issue. The fact is that I'm just not attracted to guys my own age. I've tried to force myself into dating them but I realized pretty quick that it just didn't work for me. I have been attracted to guys who are older than me, but I'm always uncomfortably aware of the age difference so it never goes anywhere. I'm beginning to wonder if it's time to let go.

I don't get along well enough with my dad to talk about dating in any context, but I've talked to my mom about it. She has the same reservations that I do, but trusts me enough to be open minded. She said that if I was dating someone who was 26 (she picked that number specifically for whatever reason) she'd want to meet him and talk to me about it but if I genuinely believed I was making the right decision she would ultimately be supportive.

People really seem to squirm at the idea of a 16 year old dating someone much older but don't know exactly why. Are there any real issues with age difference that I should be aware of? Are you okay with it? I really want to get people's opinions on this.

[Karkat]

I'm a 16 year old girl. I don't have friends my own age, just people I hang out with sometimes but have zero emotional connection with. I've met friends through my business, but all of them are in their 20s. When I started out my age seemed to be a novelty ("Wow! You're 14? I wouldn't have the courage to put my work out there at that age." and the like) but as I get older it matters less and less. I don't look or act my age. Age rarely comes up anymore and when it does people are extremely surprised that I'm 16. Really, the only restrictions at this point are that I can't drive on my own and I can't get into bars.

The issue is when it comes to dating. 16 is the age of consent here so it's not a legal issue, but it is a social issue. The fact is that I'm just not attracted to guys my own age. I've tried to force myself into dating them but I realized pretty quick that it just didn't work for me. I have been attracted to guys who are older than me, but I'm always uncomfortably aware of the age difference so it never goes anywhere. I'm beginning to wonder if it's time to let go.

I don't get along well enough with my dad to talk about dating in any context, but I've talked to my mom about it. She has the same reservations that I do, but trusts me enough to be open minded. She said that if I was dating someone who was 26 (she picked that number specifically for whatever reason) she'd want to meet him and talk to me about it but if I genuinely believed I was making the right decision she would ultimately be supportive.

People really seem to squirm at the idea of a 16 year old dating someone much older but don't know exactly why. Are there any real issues with age difference that I should be aware of? Are you okay with it? I really want to get people's opinions on this.

Age of consent not being an issue, I'd say that the issue lies more within maturity and compatibility.

See, I'm on the same plane is you. Just turned 17. NOT attracted to teenagers, really. If they had a good personality, maybe, but they'd have to be SUPER mature. I was with a moderately mature 17-19 year old (17 when we got together, 19 when we split), but in the end he just had too many maturity problems. It didn't work out. Now I'm with an extremely mature 21 year old, and we're great together. I love him to pieces. I actually met him through work as well. At first it was weird, thinking that he liked me. Like, why is a guy like this interested in someone MY age? (though to be fair, he thought I was a little older than I was) And our first date was kind of awkward. I didn't know if we'd make it to first base, I didn't know if it was going to be a one night stand, I didn't know what to think. But after that, the weirdness gradually subsided, and things went great between us. I love him so much, and I'm glad that I decided to try things out with him.

So really, if you work with someone who is a little older, but you're both at about the same maturity level, and you work good together, go for it! It could go great, since consent isn't an issue.

[Dwemer]

If you believe you arent being manipulated or played then there is no problem. Age is just a number, its the mental age that counts the most.

[ImAurora]

I think the problem people have with people of 2 very different ages dating is just that it's outside of the social norm and can generally be associated with pedophilia. Way I see it, if you're both happy and no negative outcomes are happening directly because of it, people should go ahead and date whoever they want