really depressed about doctors final conclusion

[miahere]

Hey guys, some of you might know I've been dealing with both bladder and bowel incontinence for nearly all my life but now it's at the worst. I've been having bowel accidents around 4 times a day and my wetting accidents are really a lot. I've had to move to the more absorbent protection of adult diapers which are unfortunately a lot thicker than my previous protection. So few weeks ago I went to the hospital for some tests scans and examinations to determine whether surgery for a colostomy is safe to do (previously when I was small I had a really bad infection which resulted in multiple surgeries in that "area" so a colostomy was very risky at the time). Unfortunately the doctor had consulted with all the specialists and surgons and come to the fact that because of the previous damage caused by the infection I might never be able to get major surgery done in that "area" without major risk. I know it's been some time but I'm now feeling so depressed about this. Every morning I wake up to a wet and soiled diaper because it's even worse when I'm sleeping. All the stress is just making the incontinence worse. I just don't know anything to do but vent. I've talked to people and tried to stay a little happy but honestly I feel like I'm worthless and my entire body has betrayed me. The colostomy would have given me so much more freedom and I'm stuck in wearing thick bulging diapers like some idiot who can't control anything and I feel so wasteful for it too. I go through 4 or sometimes even 5 diapers every day, and that will be everyday for the rest of my goddam life. I just hope venting like this gets me some release.

[Just JT]

You are not worthless. You have a brain and a mind. Quite good ones I'll add.
Seems like those may be the best options for you right now, right now...

I can't say I understand how you feel, cause I dont I'm
Sorry. But what I will say is try, as hard as it might feel or seem, to just focus on some good stuff in your life.

You do have skills, you may/may not realize them but find them, explore them,
Forget the stuff you can't control right now

[Jamesk0050]

You are not worthless. Dont let that get you down, use your mond that God has blessed you with.

[miahere]

It's just so frustrating when I have to be cleaning up and changing 4-5 times a day....... Every time I have to do it it's just another depressing moment....

[LadyCheerup]

Negative thinking habits play a very important role in depression. Research shows depressed people tend to minimize their accomplishments, talents, and qualities. Happy people experience failure, disappointment, rejection, negative emotions, pain, and great sorrows, too, just like depressed people. But happy people keep a positive attitude by gracefully accepting sadness and suffering as normal parts of life, while doing what they can about their problems. This also makes them more pleasant to be around and improves their social lives. Part of happiness is a courageous choice of loving life in the face of suffering, a chosen position or view of things.