I'm Very Shy Around Girls- I Don't Know What to do

[Andrew99]

Hi there, I won't waste any time I'll just get to it.

I'm generally a very shy person, even more so when it comes to being around females that I find attractive. I used to get bullied, not so much now but I mainly have really bad confidence issues. I spend a lot of my school time alone, or with 2 or 2 close friends.

I cant innitiate conversation with a girl, and if they talk to me I tend to stutter often, forget my words and become really hot and I feel like I'm going to pass out, yeah I know it's pathetic right. My tone of voice also changes when talking, from very high to low pitch.

Basically I changed my profile picture on Facebook about a month ago, which a girl in my school liked. I don't really get many likes if I ever upload a photo, which I rarely do. I've never spoken to this girl before in my life and since she liked my photo she's really caught my eye.

I find her attractive and I'd love to get to know her more, but I can't go and try to talk to her in person because ball the things that I said above will happen, probably even worse if I think I'm crushing on this girl.

Since then in school I'm not sure if it's me just trying to fantasise but I feel like she's been looking at me trying to make eye contact with me and smiling, in a friendly way obviously, not a mean way.

I've bumped into her twice since when we just said sorry to eachother, so I don't know if she's trying to put herself in situations to be where I am, or if again I'm fantasising and in reality it's just a coincidence

When these things have 'happened' I've tried to smile back or say sorry to her in a polite way. But I feel like I'm nearly going to have a heart attack when doing so. I just look and feel like a nervous wreck.

The truth is I'm terrified of these situations, my nervousness means that I can't handle these situations with people I don't know very well, even worse with girls that I find attractive and EVEN WORSE if I have a crush on them.

I've been really sad the past few weeks because I know that if the girl does like me, she will feel like I am just not interested when this really isn't the case. It's stopped me from working out which is one of my real passions in life. I think I have a crush on her but I don't know how to talk to her since I guess I have to make the first move. I feel like I couldn't message her online as that would be too weird since we've never spoke, and I'd be too nervous for talking in person to her.

I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl or anything so I don't know the 'tactics' or anything required to try and start talking to a girl. So if anyone here has any idea on what I'm talking about I'd love to hear it. Thanks for reading, much appreciated

[ska8er]

If a girl notices u-smiles at u-or pays
any other attention-just b urself and
do the same back. It wont hurt. If a
girl likes u-ur one step ahead.

[Andrew99]

If a girl notices u-smiles at u-or pays
any other attention-just b urself and
do the same back. It wont hurt. If a
girl likes u-ur one step ahead.

Like I say I don't know if she has noticed me or if it's a coincidence and I'm just fantasising about things. What do I do from here?

[ska8er]

Like I say I don't know if she has noticed me or if it's a coincidence and I'm just fantasising about things. What do I do from here?

Whenever the two of u come in contact or
even eye each other across a room smile at her.
Its a start to break the ice-c if she smiles back. ;)

[Andrew99]

Whenever the two of u come in contact or
even eye each other across a room smile at her.
Its a start to break the ice-c if she smiles back. ;)

I struggle to keep eye contact though, but I can try this

[ska8er]

I struggle to keep eye contact though, but I can try this

Tell her ur nervous. To start tell that
to her in chat and c what she says. :)

[Andrew99]

UPDATE: Today I was at the water fountain and she came up behind me. I saw her as I turned to walk away and I smiled at her. What happens from here?

[jamie_n5]

You just need to get by your shyness and strike up a conversation. Just introduce yourself and ask her about what she likes in school or activities she enjoys. You just have to get in there and initiate the process of getting to know each other. It will either take off and go some where or it might dud out. Things don't always work but you need to take that first step to see if there is truly any interest there. Go for it man and good luck.

[Andrew99]

You just need to get by your shyness and strike up a conversation. Just introduce yourself and ask her about what she likes in school or activities she enjoys. You just have to get in there and initiate the process of getting to know each other. It will either take off and go some where or it might dud out. Things don't always work but you need to take that first step to see if there is truly any interest there. Go for it man and good luck.

So scary thinking of doing this, it sounds stupid I know. I know I will be fine after I first talk to her but this is a huge stumbling block for me trying to talk to her first

[Just JT]

Hey Andrew can I ask how old you are?

Also although eye contact is hard, it's also huge. It's a form of communication. So when you guys bump into each other or whatever just swallow hard bro, look up into her eyes smile and say "hey" and watch for her response.

One thing I do know, she won't bite. So it won't be painful. Physically anyways.

Eye contact shows confidence, maturity, and shows your able to engage with someone. Even if it's a "hey". And like ska8er said. If you get to talking and your nervous, tell her that. Chances are she is to. And if she isn't, she'll understand if she is remotely human.

[Andrew99]

Hey Andrew can I ask how old you are?

Also although eye contact is hard, it's also huge. It's a form of communication. So when you guys bump into each other or whatever just swallow hard bro, look up into her eyes smile and say "hey" and watch for her response.

One thing I do know, she won't bite. So it won't be painful. Physically anyways.

Eye contact shows confidence, maturity, and shows your able to engage with someone. Even if it's a "hey". And like ska8er said. If you get to talking and your nervous, tell her that. Chances are she is to. And if she isn't, she'll understand if she is remotely human.

I'm 17 years old. I know my shyness is pathetic and stupid, but it's been preventing me from opportunities like this all my life

[ska8er]

UPDATE: Today I was at the water fountain and she came up behind me. I saw her as I turned to walk away and I smiled at her. What happens from here?

Next time tell her she has a beautiful smile. :lol:

[Andrew99]

Next time tell her she has a beautiful smile. :lol:

Hahahaha. Whaaaaaaaat I can't say that :o

[ska8er]

Hahahaha. Whaaaaaaaat I can't say that :o

Contact Bro-Contact-U have to initiate something
in order for u to get something going-the smile at
the water cooler was a start. U did make a first move
now go to second-say something-something ur comfortable
with. Just do it-try anyway. ;)

[Andrew99]

Say what? I don't know anything about her ska8er

[Andrew99]

Contact Bro-Contact-U have to initiate something
in order for u to get something going-the smile at
the water cooler was a start. U did make a first move
now go to second-say something-something ur comfortable
with. Just do it-try anyway. ;)

I don't know what to talk about, I've never talked to her in my life and have no idea of her interests. Won't she find it weird and creepy if I try to talk to her about this stuff when I'm really nervous and shaky

[ska8er]

I don't know what to talk about, I've never talked to her in my life and have no idea of her interests. Won't she find it weird and creepy if I try to talk to her about this stuff when I'm really nervous and shaky


I don't know how old u r so I can c if this is new
to u in meeting and talking with girls but u don't
have to start a long conversation-it would help But
start easy. Say Hi-hows school-mention interests-
good start. I don't think she will find it weird or
creepy. Is this the girl that u posted about that
has a crush on u? If it is-she likes u and that is
one thing going for u. Like I said to other Bros
on here-go for it before she finds someone else.
Once u break the ice things will b easier-just make
that move. She is probably just as nervous as u r. :yes:

[Just JT]

Hey Andrew. Look it don't got to be all complicated ok

You guys meet up where ever, (eyecontact). "Hey"
She will respond
What does she like? Sports or what?

How about grabbing a cup of coffee or a soda or what ever.

Can be only a few words to man....

Just be you, I can see just from this thread your real and have some cool personality. So just let some of all that out ok?

And just be yourself. Nobody's guna bite

[clobo]

Hi Andrew! I know you said you're shy but do you think she might be shy too? If she is, she might be bumping into you hoping you might start a conversation but because you're shy too it's not happening... if she doesn't know you're shy, she might mistake it for you not being interested in her. Best thing to do is pluck up the courage and the next time you see her, just smile and say hi. Hopefully she'll say hi back and then ask how she is or something. Once you break the ice everything should flow. Hope it all works out x :-)

[Andrew99]

Hey Andrew. Look it don't got to be all complicated ok

You guys meet up where ever, (eyecontact). "Hey"
She will respond
What does she like? Sports or what?

How about grabbing a cup of coffee or a soda or what ever.

Can be only a few words to man....

Just be you, I can see just from this thread your real and have some cool personality. So just let some of all that out ok?

And just be yourself. Nobody's guna bite

Thanks man, this whole thing is really stressing me out because idk what to do about it. Obviously I'm not back in school until Monday so that's when I could best see her. Hopefully I manage to be confident and talk to her but I doubt it

[Andrew99]

Hi Andrew! I know you said you're shy but do you think she might be shy too? If she is, she might be bumping into you hoping you might start a conversation but because you're shy too it's not happening... if she doesn't know you're shy, she might mistake it for you not being interested in her. Best thing to do is pluck up the courage and the next time you see her, just smile and say hi. Hopefully she'll say hi back and then ask how she is or something. Once you break the ice everything should flow. Hope it all works out x :-)

I don't no know if she's shy or not, she doesn't seem like a loud boisterous person but that doesn't mean she's shy. Idk if I can just randomly talk to her I think I will have to find a reason to speak to her, because I don't think I can handle normal conversation tbh, thanks :-) x

[Andrew99]

And what if it's a coincidence that I keep finding myself in these situations with her? Then I will just look stupid if I try to talk to her

[Andrew99]

Someone please get back to me 😞

[Shouetsu]

Hey dude. I just wanted to tell you that no matter how weak or confused you might feel, you are always at an equal level when it comes to other people. Expecting people to look down on you is the single worst feeling in the world, but remember, unless the person has something against you in the first place. (which happens to self-confident people as well :) ) Good luck with everything! And whatever you do, don't let others walk over you like you don't exist. Even if it might come off as rude when you say "Wait, what the hell? haha" (or something like that) Don't let your pride and personal space (that belongs to every damn human being) be tarnished. I might've gotten a little too specific here. haha just speaking from my own experience.

Have a good day peeps :s

[Andrew99]

Hey dude. I just wanted to tell you that no matter how weak or confused you might feel, you are always at an equal level when it comes to other people. Expecting people to look down on you is the single worst feeling in the world, but remember, unless the person has something against you in the first place. (which happens to self-confident people as well :) ) Good luck with everything! And whatever you do, don't let others walk over you like you don't exist. Even if it might come off as rude when you say "Wait, what the hell? haha" (or something like that) Don't let your pride and personal space (that belongs to every damn human being) be tarnished. I might've gotten a little too specific here. haha just speaking from my own experience.

Have a good day peeps :s


Thanks for your help, I feel really confused and weak to be honest. All my friends either have girlfriends or can get with girls if they really want. Not that this bothers me that I don't have anyone, it's that I couldn't have one even if I tried. I've always just let people walk all over me in life, it's just always been how I am and I don't think it'll ever change in my view.
What really is shit is that I think I'd prefer to be around females than males, but I can't even get the courage to talk to them no matter what. Thanks for trying to help🙂👍🏼