Not willing to lose Virginity

[Seraph]

I cannot tell why, but for some reason despite being in a relationship with a nice girl I do not wish to lose my virginity.

I love her, and so does she... but for some reason I do not wish to lose my virginity. It just gives me a bit of guilt to think of doing so, as if an inner voice says deep down: "No, don't give in to desire."

I do have a bit of affection for her (not only lustful) and I truly love her. We know each other for almost 16 years and we've been in a relationship for three years.

Does anyone else feel so? Can someone suggest why this occurs.

[Uniquemind]

You're not ready inwardly and the timing is bad.

Perhaps you have a faith-based motivation to do things traditionally (marriage>sex) in that order.

Or perhaps sex and what it entails scares you.

Nothing wrong with that, just understand why you walk the path you do, and brace for how she will feel and react.

In the olden days, you could pursue marriage already, and these urges wouldn't have the same moral-faith predicament that the modern age of (legal sex, and monetary demands) to raise a family requires today.

Is she pressuring you for sexual activity in the relationship?

[PlasmaHam]

99% of the time, it is best to listen to your conscience, and this is one of those times. I have personally seen many relationships gone astray because they decided that sex was a necessity for a romantic relationship, and that eventually becomes the core of the relationship. Don't let people tell you that you are any less mature or ready than them because you want to save yourself. Don't let people tell you that you are just stuck up or scared because you don't want a physical relationship yet. Just stick to your conscious, and someday you will know that the correct time is at hand to make such a leap.

If your girlfriend feels that sex is a necessity for your relationship, then she isn't worth keeping.

[mick01]

I think everyone on this forum would tell you not to have sex if you're not yet ready, for whatever the reason. You will know when it is time, even if it is after you marry. And if your girlfriend pressures you, then you don't need her in your life.

[Alan T]

Good for you, man.

[Seraph]

Just to clear things out, no she doesn't force me but she says that I can ask her if I feel ready.

[Mollypop]

Just to clear things out, no she doesn't force me but she says that I can ask her if I feel ready.

That's a good place to be.

[Uniquemind]

99% of the time, it is best to listen to your conscience, and this is one of those times. I have personally seen many relationships gone astray because they decided that sex was a necessity for a romantic relationship, and that eventually becomes the core of the relationship. Don't let people tell you that you are any less mature or ready than them because you want to save yourself. Don't let people tell you that you are just stuck up or scared because you don't want a physical relationship yet. Just stick to your conscious, and someday you will know that the correct time is at hand to make such a leap.

If your girlfriend feels that sex is a necessity for your relationship, then she isn't worth keeping.


That being said I agree, however I want to add to this that it is natural for problems to occur in relationships on either the extreme of too much sex or too little (of whatever sexual act too if you want to get specific).

Sex should never be the core of the relationship, however some level of sexual activity (specifically intercourse) is a necessity, at some level, in almost all romantic relationships.

[pconnor]

Take your time dude!

[Seraph]

That being said I agree, however I want to add to this that it is natural for problems to occur in relationships on either the extreme of too much sex or too little (of whatever sexual act too if you want to get specific).

Sex should never be the core of the relationship, however some level of sexual activity (specifically intercourse) is a necessity, at some level, in almost all romantic relationships.

That varies from person to person, ofttimes on your view if such acts. I view intercourse as something necessary to have offsprings, but I feel that it is solely a biological desire.

I wish to enact love upon those about whom I care, and I think I do not want to lose my virginity because doing so would not be a very chivalrous act and I fear that this would somehow end our higher love.

[Just JT]

I agree with everyone here. And you are holding out for your good reasons. And that's that. Don't feel guilty for who you are or your beliefs....ever, be proud of them. Many can't hold out that long

In the end, when you are ready, emotionally or for what ever reason you'll know, it'll just happen and feel very natural normal and be a very incredible inri age thing between you and who ever you are with.

I hope it's the same girl, yiur very lucky, keep her

Good luck bro

[Seraph]

All right, thank you all, I'll see what needs to be done.