Feelings of darkness?

[hiker17]

Anyone else have a feeling of being surrounded by darkness? Not literal darkness but I mean like feelings of sadness, anger, and jealousy.
i feel like I've felt this my whole life. Like a darkness that's always there.
I've always loved scary things, sad and creepy music and just anything dark and it's always just been a part of me.

But it didn't always seem like depression. I've never been suicidal or severely depressed It was just always what I can only describe as being in a darkness.

The worst part is is that often I enjoy it in some twisted way. Although sometimes these feelings seemed to hurt me emotionally it also felt so good. It can be so relaxing to just soak in this feeling of darkness and acknowledge all my problems and not have to avoid them.

I feel pretty weird but does anyone else relate to this?

[Phosphene]

Yes, I know how that feels. You simply can't stay submerged in this 'darkness' though, no matter how nice it feels. Once you break the surface, you'll feel a million times better. You won't miss it. Do you know what's causing you to have these feelings?

[EvaNL]

In some way feeling that way can be soothing and safe as well. The other option would be to confront your problems/darkness/however you want to call it. And that can be scary as hell!
But sometimes fighting through that pain and fear will be rewarding as well. It's okay to feel like darkness surrounds you, as long as it doesn't stop or slow down your life and your goals. But, as Amethyst says, feeling that darkness lifted will make you feel waaay better.
Open those proverbial curtains of your life and see the sun shine. You'll love it.

[ClovesXIII]

I've felt like this for a while now, and recently have been fighting it back. I can't say or assure you that it's easy to beat since I still struggle with not allowing to it to consume me some days.

do you think there is a source of this darkness? The source might not know they're doing it. If so, it's best to find the thing that creates this darkness and face it head on. It'll make things better in the end and leave yourself with closure.

[Just JT]

Yes I think I completely understand.
Not sure what else I can say
Alone, dark, not evil or depressed but also maybe to
Just dark and alone