Just ended a two and a half long relationship... not sure what to do

[PinkFloyd]

Okay, so I had been dating my first real girlfriend for two and a half years. I went on my first date with her, lost my virginity to her, and all these other milestones happened with her. Over the past few months, we had been growing apart. Both of us knew it, but neither of us wanted to say anything. We basically got bored of each other, and were too afraid to say anything because we had been together for so long... i think reality really hit us when we were having sex last week and it was just eerie. There was no emotional connection at all. It was strictly physical, and I didn't like it. I mean, scientifically, and physically, it was awesome because you know... sex. It's fun. But again, there was no emotional connection. It's like the flame just went out.

Well, yesterday, her and I had a long talk. She started the conversation, so I suppose you could say she 'dumped' me, but honestly, I feel like it was more of a mutual thing.

Now I'm single and I have no idea what to do. I've never asked anyone out in my entire life... I just feel lost.

[Dalcourt]

Oh that's really tough.
But since you both felt this relationship doesn't have a future ending it was the right thing.

Feeling lost in such a situation is normal.
Just wait a bit till you get over the initial shock about this whole thing. Once you have gotten over it dating other girls will come to you naturally I'm sure.

Don't think too much about it and don't rush it...there's no need to find another long-term girlfriend tomorrow. Once your mind is over that relationship and you see the right person you will know what to say or do.

Did your girlfriend ask you out then or what? Just wondering...Maybe a girl finds you interesting now that you are single and asks you?

So yeah giving real tips on dating is not easy - dating is mainly trial and error in real life no matter what great dating tips others give, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

[PinkFloyd]

Oh that's really tough.
But since you both felt this relationship doesn't have a future ending it was the right thing.

Feeling lost in such a situation is normal.
Just wait a bit till you get over the initial shock about this whole thing. Once you have gotten over it dating other girls will come to you naturally I'm sure.

Don't think too much about it and don't rush it...there's no need to find another long-term girlfriend tomorrow. Once your mind is over that relationship and you see the right person you will know what to say or do.

Did your girlfriend ask you out then or what? Just wondering...Maybe a girl finds you interesting now that you are single and asks you?

So yeah giving real tips on dating is not easy - dating is mainly trial and error in real life no matter what great dating tips others give, but I'm sure you'll be fine.

Yeah, the thing is that I'm so used to seeing break-ups on TV and in movies, and not ti mention the fact that I've helped my friends through break-ups from their long-term relationships. I kinda knew it was coming, but it's still really shitty. And yeah, she asked me out. She texted me the childish "Do you like me?" text.

[Dare99]

I feel you, ended a 2 year relationship only a month ago.

There's no real set advice for what to do next, so I'll just say what I did. Basically, just go work on yourself. You don't need to dive into another relationship. You're 19, so on the cusp of "real" adulthood and all that good stuff. Go find the person that you want to be. What are your interests what are your dislikes? Soon you'll find some great girl and maybe she'll ask you out, maybe you ask her, who knows. Life is beautiful that way

[jamie_n5]

You need to just take some time and mellow out. It hurts to break up with someone you had loved and been intimate with. Try spend some alone and quiet time to yourself. Then you could also go hang out with the guys and have some fun. A new girl will come along some day. Don't worry or be in any hurry. Ms. right will come along sometime.

[PinkFloyd]

I feel you, ended a 2 year relationship only a month ago.

There's no real set advice for what to do next, so I'll just say what I did. Basically, just go work on yourself. You don't need to dive into another relationship. You're 19, so on the cusp of "real" adulthood and all that good stuff. Go find the person that you want to be. What are your interests what are your dislikes? Soon you'll find some great girl and maybe she'll ask you out, maybe you ask her, who knows. Life is beautiful that way

Yeah, I was thinking I could finally apply for a job that I actually like. I've worked at the same office supply store for the past three years or so and it's getting really boring. I really love cars, so I was thinking I could work at like a BMW dealership or something. I could meet someone there that also loves cars and we'd hit it off. Like you said, you're never really sure what life's gonna throw at you. I met my ex on pure chance when I was out hanging with my friends. What followed was a very long and healthy relationship. Thanks for the advice, man. I really appreciate it. Thank you for the advice. The breakup doesn't hurt as much as it did thanks to you and others who have been helping me through it. :)

You need to just take some time and mellow out. It hurts to break up with someone you had loved and been intimate with. Try spend some alone and quiet time to yourself. Then you could also go hang out with the guys and have some fun. A new girl will come along some day. Don't worry or be in any hurry. Ms. right will come along sometime.

Yep, last night I did just that. Now that I don't have any girl responsibilities, I went with some friends to the Saint Paul street racing scene. I of course, didn't race in it, but spectating was really cool. It was like straight out of the Fast and Furious. Cops showed up and all the cars just scattered.

[Blank_]

I can sort of relate to this: for three years maybe I was interested in this girl and I thought she was interested in me too. We would hang out a lot but never officially went out with each other. Then last year we went to a dance together and I thought we were finally going to make it official, but she ended up asking some other guy to the junior prom before I got the chance to ask her. I felt stabbed in the back and took it as a sign that she didn't like me, so I "broke up" with her.

So I am in the same situation as you, I am still single and haven't asked anyone out yet. But there is no problem with any of this, that just means that she was not meant to be the one for you. Your teenage years are a tumultuous and confusing time, and dating could only make things more difficult. Sometimes it is best just to take things slow and let life come to you; you still have your friends and family that you can spend time with, and then one day you are bound to find the girl who is right for you.

[PinkFloyd]

I can sort of relate to this: for three years maybe I was interested in this girl and I thought she was interested in me too. We would hang out a lot but never officially went out with each other. Then last year we went to a dance together and I thought we were finally going to make it official, but she ended up asking some other guy to the junior prom before I got the chance to ask her. I felt stabbed in the back and took it as a sign that she didn't like me, so I "broke up" with her.

So I am in the same situation as you, I am still single and haven't asked anyone out yet. But there is no problem with any of this, that just means that she was not meant to be the one for you. Your teenage years are a tumultuous and confusing time, and dating could only make things more difficult. Sometimes it is best just to take things slow and let life come to you; you still have your friends and family that you can spend time with, and then one day you are bound to find the girl who is right for you.

Yeah, that honestly does make a lot of sense and I've been thinking the same thing. I'll get another gf when the time is right, but that time is certainly not right now.

[CosmicNoodle]

That sucks dude, I know how it feels to slowly drift away from someone you care about, I can't count the number of people I've grown away from. The chances are she feels just as weird and lost as you do, honestly man, sometimes people just grow apart for no real reason, it's shitty but it happens, it's all part of becoming a full and rounded person.

(Also, holy shit dude you're 19? Da fuck)

[PinkFloyd]

That sucks dude, I know how it feels to slowly drift away from someone you care about, I can't count the number of people I've grown away from. The chances are she feels just as weird and lost as you do, honestly man, sometimes people just grow apart for no real reason, it's shitty but it happens, it's all part of becoming a full and rounded person.

(Also, holy shit dude you're 19? Da fuck)

It's weird because I feel oddly free. When I was with her, I couldn't be as impulsive with my behavior. I fucking LOVE to be random and impulsive with my activities. I'm not like talking shit about her, it's just a fact that in like 99% of relationships, the other person gets uneasy when you randomly decide to drive hours away to hang out with a friend. But thanks for the response, man. it really helps knowing what I'm feeling is normal.

Also, yeah, I am 19 :D I turned 19 on the 25th of last month. I think we're in the same "class" even though I'm pretty sure both of us have graduated high school haha

[CosmicNoodle]

It's weird because I feel oddly free. When I was with her, I couldn't be as impulsive with my behavior. I fucking LOVE to be random and impulsive with my activities. I'm not like talking shit about her, it's just a fact that in like 99% of relationships, the other person gets uneasy when you randomly decide to drive hours away to hang out with a friend. But thanks for the response, man. it really helps knowing what I'm feeling is normal.

Also, yeah, I am 19 :D I turned 19 on the 25th of last month. I think we're in the same "class" even though I'm pretty sure both of us have graduated high school haha

Yeah I can see why you'd feel a little better, I suppose being single is better than being stuck in a half heated relationship, although you might start feeling shitty in a few weeks after it's been a while, who knows. I always find I feel worse after a while. Anyway, as long as you're feeling good just keep doing you.

And da fuck man, I remember when you're name tag said 16-17 and somehow I presumed it would still be the same, I can't handle that time is passing at a normal rate :rolleyes:

[PinkFloyd]

Yeah I can see why you'd feel a little better, I suppose being single is better than being stuck in a half heated relationship, although you might start feeling shitty in a few weeks after it's been a while, who knows. I always find I feel worse after a while. Anyway, as long as you're feeling good just keep doing you.

And da fuck man, I remember when you're name tag said 16-17 and somehow I presumed it would still be the same, I can't handle that time is passing at a normal rate :rolleyes:

Yeah, man.. time flies lol