Question for girls

[Tesserax]

Hi, I've asked a bunch of people already and have a good idea of what I want to do from here, but I just can't stop thinking so I'm going to ask here as well.

I recently made clear to a great friend of mine that I have a romantic interest in her, and she basically said "I'm not really ready for a relationship with you right now, but look it's not something that can't happen in the future."

Now the thing is, we've known each other from a year, but we've only met up in person three times as we don't go to the same school and had a really busy last year of high school which made it difficult for outings. Despite that, I feel that we have a really good connection and friendship going, and moving into University next year we'll have far more opportunities to meet up seeing as how we're going to the same Uni, though on different but nearby campuses.

I've talked to a few people and they've mostly had the same consensus: she feels she needs to get to know me better since we've not met up very much before she really considers something more serious, before she considers moving the friendship forward. My mind is pretty set on keeping a "holding pattern" while I wait to see where I can land, and see where our friendship goes.

She's an amazing girl, and I dare say I love her for all she has done for me, and I'm willing to wait patiently for as long as it takes for her to feel the same way about me, but for now I'm not going to push it and I'm just going to wait. Though my mind is set, I ask for your opinion anyway, so please, help settle my restless mind and share your thoughts on the matter. We both made it clear that regardless of what happens, we want to remain good friends and we both truly value the friendship that connects us. She did say that this is one of the reasons she isn't quite ready for a relationship with me yet (as she wouldn't want to put that at risk), which I suppose indicates she wants more solid foundation for a relationship than just loads of PMs and three outings together.

Anyway, thanks for your time. I look forward to your responses :)

[ethan-s]

Yeah, you just got friendzoned. I would wait a few months and try again.

[BlackParadePixie]

don't neglect or abandon any other possible relationships because of her. yeah, sure, you can wait for her...she mgiht come around...or she might not. So don't let other opportunities suffer because of it.

[Tesserax]

Yeah, you just got friendzoned. I would wait a few months and try again.

Hardly just, I was friendzoned a year ago when I became her friend

[WhoWhatWhen]

Aw that's really sweet. But don't get your hopes up that she will come around. If she doesn't come around remember that there are more people out there.

[Tesserax]

Aw that's really sweet. But don't get your hopes up that she will come around. If she doesn't come around remember that there are more people out there.

For the moment that's my plan. I've always prided myself on a good peripheral vision, so while my focus will be unshaken, I won't let any other opportunities go unnoticed

[scott2002]

I'm a lot younger than you (15), so what do I really know? I prolly shouldn't even be responding. But me and my friends talk a lot about what makes the difference between being a friend and being a girlfriend? Okay, lets just say it. It's sexual attraction. Physical or emotional or both. I hope the moderators don't delete this for what I'm gonna write next, but I think it is so true: When she thinks about you or talks to you, she never "gets wet".
(I have my first girlfriend now, and she's the one who told me that this happens when she and her friends really like a guy. I asked her if that happens to her when she thinks about me, and she smiled and said, "I'll never tell!")
I think it's time for you to realize that this relationship will probably never move past the friendship stage. She doesn't like you in "that way".

[Tesserax]

I'm a lot younger than you (15), so what do I really know? I prolly shouldn't even be responding. But me and my friends talk a lot about what makes the difference between being a friend and being a girlfriend? Okay, lets just say it. It's sexual attraction. Physical or emotional or both. I hope the moderators don't delete this for what I'm gonna write next, but I think it is so true: When she thinks about you or talks to you, she never "gets wet".
(I have my first girlfriend now, and she's the one who told me that this happens when she and her friends really like a guy. I asked her if that happens to her when she thinks about me, and she smiled and said, "I'll never tell!")
I think it's time for you to realize that this relationship will probably never move past the friendship stage. She doesn't like you in "that way".

I think that comes down to maturity. Younger teenagers actually have an entire section of their brain basically shut down for maintenance, which also serves the more ancient biological need to reproduce at that age because it was basically the halfway point in your life. This is what triggers the sexual attraction.

There are plenty of couples who rarely have sex yet are able to be together, and why? Because relationships built on sex go downhill when either party begins to become bored of the same sex, whereas relationships built on an emotional connection last longer because of the existence of an actual connection as opposed to both partners being conditioned to like the other due to sex (aka this person makes me feel good > I like this person, vs this person connects with me > I like this person).

This often tends to be why most teenage relationships hardly last, and the ones that actually do turn into marriage often end in divorce, because both partners are unable to truly determine what they want in a partner, or whether or not the relationship is built on solid rock or sand. I for one don't feel horny every time I see her or meet up with her, rather, I feel comfortable, calm, at home, which is rather contrary to the chaos my thoughts and feelings usually are. It is not the sexual attraction which makes me want her, it is the emotional connection we have which pushes me to pursue her.