Advice Needed

[Croconaw]

I have a long distance girlfriend that I've known since early July. We started dating in November. We pretty much had a great relationship in November and December, but recently we started getting into fights so often. They are just little misunderstandings, but I still love this girl and I don't want to lose her. Basically I feel like I've become dependent on this girl's love as of recent. I wish we didn't get into fights so often, but she does have an anger problem, which she told me she does. Both of us said things would get better when I visit her the first time in March, and I really believe that. When she's upset, I used to always make her feel better. She said it is very rarely that I don't cheer her up completely, but today, she told me "You're not helping at all" and when I sent her a long reassuring message, she said "Okay, well that didn't help." I don't want to sound selfish, but I just wanted a little respect for my effort. We have our good days and we have our bad. That's part of every relationship. I just need advice please.

Please no "Long distance never works out" or negativity about long distance relationships.
I prefer actual advice please. Thank you.

[Tobyisnotdead]

Long distance relationships are hard and while I've never been in one I think I could help. 1. If she's upset don't try to uplift her right away, just talk to her and ask her what shit she's going through. Then sympathize with her and say things in the same family as "that must be really hard."
2. After you talk through it for a while ask her if she wants to have your perspective on the situation at hand. If she says yes then go crazy with what you want to tell her about how awesome she is or how stupid it is that she has to go through what she's going through.
3. If she says no, leave her alone for a while and let her cool down. Then repeat steps 1 and 2.
This is coming from a guy with relationship commitment problems, so it's your preference whether to take this with a grain of salt or not. Also make sure you tell her how much you love her, sometimes people need to know someone's on their side.

[ska8er]

Tell her when u c her that u know that we
get into spats but that u will always b there
for her in the relationship. Maybe she is just
through a rough time right now and things r
on edge. Don't pressure her just assure her
that u love her and u can always talk stuff out.

[jamie_n5]

Maybe it's time to ask her if she wants to break up. I know that is hard but at least you will know. If she says that she wants to stay together then just try to be there for her and keep reassuring her. If it gets to be too much for you to handle then I guess that you need to just break up with her.

[Dennis Chaney]

I have a long distance girlfriend that I've known since early July. We started dating in November. We pretty much had a great relationship in November and December, but recently we started getting into fights so often. They are just little misunderstandings, but I still love this girl and I don't want to lose her. Basically I feel like I've become dependent on this girl's love as of recent. I wish we didn't get into fights so often, but she does have an anger problem, which she told me she does. Both of us said things would get better when I visit her the first time in March, and I really believe that. When she's upset, I used to always make her feel better. She said it is very rarely that I don't cheer her up completely, but today, she told me "You're not helping at all" and when I sent her a long reassuring message, she said "Okay, well that didn't help." I don't want to sound selfish, but I just wanted a little respect for my effort. We have our good days and we have our bad. That's part of every relationship. I just need advice please.

Please no "Long distance never works out" or negativity about long distance relationships.
I prefer actual advice please. Thank you.

I have had my fair share of LDR's, and to be honest i prefer them more then i do a normal relationship because you actually have to spend time getting to know that person, and learn to understand them on a more unique level then being face to face.

What i can say is that it doesn't matter who you get with, wether long distance or right next door, you will always get into fights at some point, you just have to choose whether that person is worth staying with through that struggle, I lost the love of my life that i was with for 3 years because i thought leaving her would be better then staying and going through the pain, and since then (3 years later) i regret that choice.

Just know that both male/females alike sometime need there space, we cannot always be able to solve their problems, when something like that happens give them room to breathe and reflect on the issue that they are having, if not they may become overwhelmed.

No matter what happens, try to stay positive and know that you are trying your best to do what is right. I wish you the best of luck!