So, here's the situation...

[nick_1999]

This is a doozie, so get comfy and grab the popcorn.

So, this girl (we'll call her Angie for convenience) and I became friends three years ago, and we were super close. We could tell each other practically anything, and we knew pretty intimate details about the other. After a while, I began to fall for her pretty hard and fast. Nothing sexual, though, just pure affection. Right after that happened, she fell for another guy, and I felt as though I couldn't tell her, as that would have ruined the friendship and trust.

The summer came along, and we pretty much stopped talking for those three months. When the next semester came around, I tried to rekindle the relationship, and it worked...to an extent. The friendship was more brittle and...colder, almost. But, my feelings for her hadn't changed, and eventually, I spilled.

Her response was a bit sympathetic, saying that I'm a great guy and a good friend and so on, but that she wasn't ready for a boyfriend. I understood that and accepted it, but obviously I was more or less heartbroken. The year came and went, and our friendship didn't change much.

Now, in the third year, we really do not talk at all, and the conversations we have are few, extremely far between, and short. She's had two boyfriends since last year, and I learned some things about her that almost contradict the person who I befriended and fell for years before.

So, you may ask, what is my question? I mean, I rambled on enough, so I might as well ask it now:

What do I do to fix this?

I valued our friendship very highly and genuinely enjoyed being with her. As romantic ideas began to blossom, I tried my hardest to let those unreciprocated feelings not affect the friendship, but it did not seem to work. I've talked with her about our failing bond, and she says that we're still friends. However, whenever I try texting or talking with her, she doesn't seem to want to. It's really upsetting to me, and I really want to be at least friends again.

Should I just give up or should I fix the friendship, and, if so, how? Any help is beyond appreciated.

Thanks for reading, and have a great day! :)

[Ineedyou]

When kids get to high school it's really when they start discovering who they are and what they want to be. When I got to high school I drifted away from certain people and towards new friends that I could relate with more. If I were in your situation, I would let her go and lean towards people that actually want to be there for you. It's better to form friendships with people who want to be your friend than to dwell on the one's who don't.

[Uniquemind]

It also sounds like she's experienced a lot of life changing stuff between then and now, that has the potential to change a person as well.

Idk if it was due to those last few relationships or not, but I'd bet that's part of it.

[GuysPOV]

I'm sorry to say this, but give it up. Her mind was not there and you continuing to try, even trying to "just b friends" only pushes her further and further away.

By the way, I hate the "you're a great guy" speech. It's a load of crap and the "but". ALWAYS follows it. Someone once said, "you can never go back." Which to u probably means once you've crossed or tried to cross over to the next level, you probably burned the bridge.

Sorry,
Guy

[Anniebanannie]

I'm sorry. It sounds like you had something very special. People can drift over time. In this case, she's the one who's drifted. You can't really do anything to change her mind or turn back the clock, as wonderful as that sounds. At this point, you don't have to do anything about it. Just see where life takes you now.

[jamie_n5]

Well at this point it is really up to you. If you want to continue to be just good friends then work at that and move on romantically it is quite obvious that she isn't interested in romance so it is now up to you what your next step should be. We can't make that decision for you man.

[Emilyyy]

This is a really tough one actually as it could go many different ways and there's no real way to tell which. I think it's clear she's very unlikely to like you back as more than a friend ever and it does seem like she's drifting away from you as a friend. I have seen it happen before where a girl and a guy are great friends then one of them starts dating other people and the friendships just breaks away into nothing, sometimes this happens rather quickly. So I guess maybe she's just realising that there's other guys out there and she prefers hanging out with them, sucks but it's a possibility. Sadly sometimes people drift away from other people and there's nothing you can do to stop it. If you appear too desperate it will just drive her away more to be honest.

[ClovesXIII]

I've been through something thing like this (minus the whole unrequited affection), at the end of the day, I've found it's easier and better mentally for you to stop trying, if she's not putting any effort forward, don't you question whether she really cares for you like she says she does? And if you two were friends like she says so, why do things feel so brittle and cold? Yes, you did confess so I could see it being a bit awkward but you said that was-what?- 3 MONTHS ago? hard to believe someone holds onto something as silly as a crush for three months when they weren't the one who actually had the feelings. Sorry, my friend but it sounds like she's not sure how to tell you, that you guys are drifting apart, so she's dragging a friendship on. Maybe it's best you end it, formally if you wish or without a word (which could result in a messy situation but sometimes no confrontation is the best).

-Cloves

[auser_name]

I am going to be completely honest here and not sugar coat a thing. In my past experiences, these things cannot be fixed. My situation was different from yours in quite a large way as I was attracted to one of my closest friends who was also a male. I did tell him about my interest and he sadly did not feel the same way. At first everything was fantastic life continued on as normal. But after our Christmas vacation, he changed. Our friendship deteriorated fast. I however refused to let it die. And now two years later of constant heartbreak I finally realised that it's not worth it. I moved on wth my life. Met new people and eventually just ignored him. He is my past, so that is where he shall stay.

From this I hope you gather, its natural for friendships to expire, no matter how strong they are. I, personally, feel you should accept the end of this friendship and move one to greener pastures, instead of hurting your self trying to fix the shatter friendship. One thing you mast not take away from this, however, is the thought that it was your fault. It wasn't. I felt like that too, but its not. Its time to just move on.