Have you ever truly hated someone you knew?

[brandon9]

I'm not quite sure where this best went, but I stuck it here. Feel free to move it if necessary.

My question is, has there ever been someone in your life who you knew, maybe even at one point got along with, that you truly hate now? Or hated in the past? I'm not talking about a strong dislike, I mean full-blown hatred, you would do anything to see that person fall. You'd destroy their world if you could, that level of hate.

For me, I truly hate this guy named Jordan. I met him in 4th grade - we used to play rec soccer together for years, had a few classes in school, he was a grade ahead of me. Anyway, last March, I met this girl who I've incessantly mentioned here, and long story short, I fell hard as fuck for her. Thing is, he wanted her too, and I didn't know it at first. It created this really weird triangle effect until she picked him over me, and that began the hatred for me. I gave zero fucks about his "relationship" with this girl, and I came very close to forcing a breakup in which she'd have left him for me. Him and I got in pissing contests over her the entire time they dated, ~1.5 months or so. After he dumped her, she was very hurt by it for some fucked up reasons, and subsequently has never given me a chance. She has all but pushed me away, no matter how many times I tried to make her see how unconditionally and truly I love her. It's at the point now that her and I, who were best friends, barely talk to each other outside of work. And now, she's moving away in a month, and I'm going to be left without the one person I truly care for, never knowing what could have been, and I entirely blame Jordan for that. I HATE that motherfucker. I have never had "bad" thoughts about people except where he is concerned - I'd beat that son of a bitch to a pulp if I had the chance to. He flipped his car a few months ago, I heard about it from people who talk to him, and I fucking laughed, I didn't give a shit, I was actually disappointed he wasn't hurt. I've wished countless times his dumb fucking ass was never born, that he didn't exist. I entirely blame him for getting fucked out of an opportunity with this girl, which is the one thing I've ever wanted most in my life. I hate him so much I wouldn't care if he was dead tomorrow, it's fucked up but he means less than shit to me. I just want to tear his world apart piece by piece until he has nothing left. I want him to feel as heartbroken and empty and worthless and miserable and awful and fucked up as I have as a result of his interference in what I wanted to happen, that would have happened without him being around. I want him to hate himself when he wakes up and has to know that nothing changes, that nothing he can do or try would make a damn bit of difference, just as I do. I want him to suffer. I want him to experience what I've gone through for nearly a year now.

It's almost scary what that intense of a hatred feels like. As I'm brooding over this girl leaving soon, my thoughts keep returning to the thought that things would just be so much different if this Jordan fucker was never in the picture. And it made me wonder if anyone else has ever felt such an extreme hatred.

[ska8er]

U should not hate anyone-Disagree
or not like but Don't hate. U have
some deep routed anger. She picked
him over u-so try to forget it. If she
senses ur anger toward him she will
no longer like u.

[Sailor Mars]

Jeez someone's pissed huh?

Like ska8er said, she picked him over you and you have to deal with it. Don't try and involve yourself into someone's life and relationship just because of how you feel. Think about how they feel. There's a lot more that goes into relationships than just your "unconditional love". Also, if you're seriously harboring that much anger for someone to the point where you physically want to hurt them or want them hurt or even, potentially, dead, then I highly recommend you get professional help.

As for hating someone, yes, I've hated someone before. I don't really want to get into detail because it's in the past and over with, but long story short I became friends with someone who had a lot of problems in their life and they influenced my life and my mindset negatively, and I ended up doing very stupid things. Although, I guess I could say I don't "hate" them, just so much that I do not care anymore where they are, what they are doing, how they are, or how they've been. As well as the fact that if I saw them walking towards me outside, I would cross the street, turn my headphones all the way up, and scream "Come the fuck at me bro I dare you" (in my head)

[Just JT]

I'm going to be honest here and risk a potential friendship. Depending on how you take this ok?

Yes I've actually hated someone like that. For me it wasn't a friend, was family, I'll leave that there.

For you, bro, you know who lost out there?
You did.
It takes so much fuckin energy to hate. It's just not worth it. And to hold that flame that long and let something come between you and a "friend"....the three of you don't deserve each other as friends.

You not only risked but lost 2 friendships over that.

You had an opportunity to rebuild that friendship when he flipped his car, just say hi, sorry to hear, etc.

But you wish he was hurt, I'm guessing more like dead.

Sorry bro but get over it. Life's to short to hate someone like that...just saying...

[Darth Vader]

Someone's salty �� Don't be mad get better

[Dalcourt]

Personally I never really felt hate for anyone. Might maybe say I hate you or whatever if I'd fight with anyone but honestly hate takes up way too much energy. Feeling hate or probably even a strong dislike for someone is in my opinion just not worth it. The people you waste your time and energy on might never get the extent to which you hate them and so in the long run the only one you hurt are yourself.
I usually choose to be indifferent except to hate.

[brandon9]

I can't help but feel the way I do, though, that's the scary part. Lily even told me before that had it not been for him, she would have got with me, that she almost did anyway but he kept pushing and pushing and she finally said yes. In hearing her say that, it lets me know I am absolutely correct in saying if he wasn't a factor I'd be in a relationship of nearly a year at this point. But, like always in my world, shit always gets fucked up for me. That's why I hate him so much. I of course won't physically act on it - not that I wouldn't love to - because I have gone down the road of violence and vengeance against others before in my life and it never solved much for me. I just can't shake the feelings of hatred and resentment though. He had a chance I never will, directly as a result of his opportunity. He fucked her head up.

It all just proves I'm as bad a person as I believe I am lol. To me anyway.

[Melodic]

Look at it from this perspective and I'm going to be a little blunt here. If she was to have chosen you over him, how would you feel if he was constantly mad at you over being with her? He probably thinks you were his friend and you should be supportive of the relationship. You think he was your friend and should've let you have the girl. But in the end, you're both upset over something that you would have done if it was the other way around.

Personally, the girl sounds like she's insecure and was just wanting the attention which is why she kept leading you on and saying how she would've chosen you. She could've used any excuse in the book of why you two didn't get together but it's just talk. She had no intention of ever getting together with you or it would have happened.

[yeehaw]

Personally I have a deep-root hatred for like 2 people.

The first is one of my mother's ex-boyfriends, and he was an alcoholic, did drugs, and was very abusive to my mum, my sister and I alike. He wrecked my life for 5 years straight, stuff like that really gets to you when it's for an extended period of time like that. Ever since, I always have bad flashbacks and nightmares about it, so the hatred there is linked with what he did to my family and the following PTSD-type trauma that follows.

Similarly, another guy I despise: an old ex of mine. We were together for about 10 months, and he was very abusive both mentally and physically. The main mistake was that I was heavily dependent on him throughout the relationship because I was battling with self harm, anxiety ad general suicidal thoughts. I didn't care that he was abusive, I just didn't want to be alone, so it definitely got out of hand and could've been prevented months before if the circumstances were different. Due to the fact that it feels like a repetition of the hardship I faced before it also gives me frequent nightmares and paranoia to if I'll come across him in the street or something. It also gives me a lot of paranoia towards other men I don't trust and strangers in general.

So, yeah - I feel this is genuine hatred for these two people. I hear that life goes on but I seem way too attached to these last events to move on from it.

[ska8er]

I can't help but feel the way I do, though, that's the scary part. Lily even told me before that had it not been for him, she would have got with me, that she almost did anyway but he kept pushing and pushing and she finally said yes. In hearing her say that, it lets me know I am absolutely correct in saying if he wasn't a factor I'd be in a relationship of nearly a year at this point. But, like always in my world, shit always gets fucked up for me. That's why I hate him so much. I of course won't physically act on it - not that I wouldn't love to - because I have gone down the road of violence and vengeance against others before in my life and it never solved much for me. I just can't shake the feelings of hatred and resentment though. He had a chance I never will, directly as a result of his opportunity. He fucked her head up.

It all just proves I'm as bad a person as I believe I am lol. To me anyway.


Ur not a bad person-just move on with ur life and
find someone else-I'm sure there is someone out
there. Just don't get hurt again-learn from experience.

[auser_name]

Yes. I know exactly that feeling but Id rather not tell me story in public. If you would like to hear it feel free to pm me but just know. you're not alone is this hatred.

[brandon9]

Melodic - him and I were more acquaintances than friends, we knew each other but never did more than somewhat socially interact at school or during soccer. Probably should have clarified that. And the sad thing is, that I hate to admit but I can't deny, is you're probably pretty close to being right about her. She'll never get with me, and I know it. But I don't know how to stop feeling like I do for her, I just don't know how you stop loving somebody even if they don't feel the same in return. It probably sounds like a sappy line out of a movie, but it's a genuine confusion and problem for me. I can't detach. I'm dependent on her for happiness and acceptance because she's the only one aside from my family in my life who has given me either.
twentyonehorizons I am sorry to hear you've had such bad experiences. Nobody deserves that, and I totally sympathize with you. I think your last sentence really hits home - attachment is the killer. Detaching from these things can be so difficult, especially when they have an especially profound impact on your life.
ska8er - That moving on is the hiccup I face, I keep trying and it only makes me feel worse. Plus, and this is really wrong of me to do but I cannot help it, I'm so keyed in on what Lily does and says and all her little idiosyncrasies that I compare everyone else to her, like I want a carbon copy because she just appeals that much to me. She said it best to me once, we're basically the same person, her and I, and that makes it so much harder for me.

Idk. I'm probably just bitching a lot to everyone here, cause I have nobody around me who cares to listen or help me lol.

[Just JT]

Trust me when I tel, you there's no gain in hating someone that much. You'll end up not feeling good about it. (We see that here or you wouldn't of posted). And it just grows. If you don't let this go you'll see. You'll end up hating the car he flipped, the sport you both played, and anything or anyone else who you make yourself remind you of him. And that's just the beginning.

It'll turn inward, you'll isolate yourself, from those things. Maybe depressed. And it goes in a spiral from there, All going down...

Just let it go, let them go, if life brings them back into your life then cool, look at it as a new start. Maybe.

Not saying forgive, some things aren't forgiveable. Some people including myself talked about that here. Hate is strong, to strong, just to strong bro

It'll tear you up inside. You don't have to forgive and get all soft lovie dovie again. But just let it go ok?

You will be happier, feel better, and be the better person

[Phosphene]

I've never felt hatred for anyone. I simply can't bring myself to. If you don't like the way someone acts or treats others, there's no use hating or trying to change that person; just don't be like them.

[Leprous]

I still feel extreme hatred towards quite a lot of people. Most of them are from school. Basicly anyone who abused me either mentally or physically is on the list, and I'm ashamed to say it's a long list. I tend to forgive a lot of people for what they have done, but honestly I can't do that for these people. If not for them I wouldn't be this train wreck I am right now.

[Abyssal Echo]

I can't say that I've actually hated on anyone....strong dislike maybe... hate ? nah that requires too much effort and energy.

[ClaraWho]

I'm not quite sure where this best went, but I stuck it here. Feel free to move it if necessary.

My question is, has there ever been someone in your life who you knew, maybe even at one point got along with, that you truly hate now? Or hated in the past? I'm not talking about a strong dislike, I mean full-blown hatred, you would do anything to see that person fall. You'd destroy their world if you could, that level of hate.

For me, I truly hate this guy named Jordan. I met him in 4th grade - we used to play rec soccer together for years, had a few classes in school, he was a grade ahead of me. Anyway, last March, I met this girl who I've incessantly mentioned here, and long story short, I fell hard as fuck for her. Thing is, he wanted her too, and I didn't know it at first. It created this really weird triangle effect until she picked him over me, and that began the hatred for me. I gave zero fucks about his "relationship" with this girl, and I came very close to forcing a breakup in which she'd have left him for me. Him and I got in pissing contests over her the entire time they dated, ~1.5 months or so. After he dumped her, she was very hurt by it for some fucked up reasons, and subsequently has never given me a chance. She has all but pushed me away, no matter how many times I tried to make her see how unconditionally and truly I love her. It's at the point now that her and I, who were best friends, barely talk to each other outside of work. And now, she's moving away in a month, and I'm going to be left without the one person I truly care for, never knowing what could have been, and I entirely blame Jordan for that. I HATE that motherfucker. I have never had "bad" thoughts about people except where he is concerned - I'd beat that son of a bitch to a pulp if I had the chance to. He flipped his car a few months ago, I heard about it from people who talk to him, and I fucking laughed, I didn't give a shit, I was actually disappointed he wasn't hurt. I've wished countless times his dumb fucking ass was never born, that he didn't exist. I entirely blame him for getting fucked out of an opportunity with this girl, which is the one thing I've ever wanted most in my life. I hate him so much I wouldn't care if he was dead tomorrow, it's fucked up but he means less than shit to me. I just want to tear his world apart piece by piece until he has nothing left. I want him to feel as heartbroken and empty and worthless and miserable and awful and fucked up as I have as a result of his interference in what I wanted to happen, that would have happened without him being around. I want him to hate himself when he wakes up and has to know that nothing changes, that nothing he can do or try would make a damn bit of difference, just as I do. I want him to suffer. I want him to experience what I've gone through for nearly a year now.

It's almost scary what that intense of a hatred feels like. As I'm brooding over this girl leaving soon, my thoughts keep returning to the thought that things would just be so much different if this Jordan fucker was never in the picture. And it made me wonder if anyone else has ever felt such an extreme hatred.

I can't help but feel the way I do, though, that's the scary part. Lily even told me before that had it not been for him, she would have got with me, that she almost did anyway but he kept pushing and pushing and she finally said yes. In hearing her say that, it lets me know I am absolutely correct in saying if he wasn't a factor I'd be in a relationship of nearly a year at this point. But, like always in my world, shit always gets fucked up for me. That's why I hate him so much. I of course won't physically act on it - not that I wouldn't love to - because I have gone down the road of violence and vengeance against others before in my life and it never solved much for me. I just can't shake the feelings of hatred and resentment though. He had a chance I never will, directly as a result of his opportunity. He fucked her head up.

It all just proves I'm as bad a person as I believe I am lol. To me anyway.

The clinical term of narcissist comes to mind.

You do not own Lily. She is her own human being, with her own thoughts, emotions and life-decisions. She clearly loved neither of you, as real love is singular and doesn't have competition. If it boiled down to a choice, she chose him because she saw something more in him, unique qualities you do not have. She could have left him had she regretted her decision at all in that 1.5 months they dated. She didn't.

HE DUMPED HER.

And she was upset, as you say. So clearly she still wanted to be in a relationship with him and it wasn't her choice to end it.

YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE LOVE YOU.

Your own personal feelings do not entitle you to reciprocation. It doesn't matter how much you fantasised about being with her, or told yourself you love her. She clearly never felt that way about you. You are angry about two consenting individuals who liked each other trying to make a relationship work.

Or are you angry about something else? This entire thing reads as a projection. It is HIS fault YOU got rejected. It is HIS fault that you are insecure. That you feel worthless, empty, awful and miserable as you do is HIS fault. It's HIS fault you feel helpless and the fear that comes with that.

Wrong. You're trying to absolve yourself; Scapegoating and pushing responsibility for your emotions and where you are in life on to him. Well it is not his fault. It's yours.

Try as we may we cannot control others in life. We have no say in who reciprocates our love, or who wants to be our friend once they truly know us. That can be scary, it can make you feel helpless and powerless. But life goes on with or without us partaking in all the opportunities it has to offer. Progress = life satisfaction.

What steps are you taking to move on? Name them. How are you meeting new people, making new connections and advancing towards what you want in life? She is gone. The past no longer exists, it is but a distorted memory with our own interpretation and narrative stamped over it. Nothing changes if you do nothing to make it change. An object unacted upon remains static. A task not inacted doesn't reach success.

You don't like yourself and you aren't happy in life.

Who do you want to be? Do you want to be the guy who broods and wishes people dead? Who complains about life and spreads hatred?


I'm way too tired, I shall revisit this in the morning and apologise for my lack of eloquence.

~ Clara

[Just JT]

I know I've hated in the past. And I've somehow found a way to get past that
Not so sure about that now, so yeah, I do hate someone
But I also hope that changes cause I don't like how hate feels

[swiftshadowolf]

I hate my past best friend. We had a minuscule disagreement and she refused to even talk to or look at me. Honestly I don't care anymore and I have a weight lifted off my shoulders without her, I had to share all her problems and that didn't help my already fucked mental state. I am a free person and I now know she wasn't worth my time if she wasn't willing to pick our friendship back up.