Getting into first relationship

[teenuser101]

Hi - I'll try and keep this relatively short but need to get some details in so you understand the full story, here goes:

Basically I am a second year uni student (in the U.K.) and I go to uni about 3 hours from home so I very rarely go home between holidays. Over Christmas when I was home I went back to do a few shifts at work because they needed some staff and I needed the money too, and whilst I was there I met a girl who had only recently started. We talked a little bit in work and I thought we got on really well. I didn't really think about it at the time but now since leaving work and coming back to uni I have realised that I am actually quite attracted to her!

I have never been in any sort of relationship like this before so didn't really know what to do, but from nowhere I somehow plucked up the courage to send her a Facebook message explaining that I enjoyed meeting her and asking if she fancied meeting for a drink one day. She replied a few minutes later saying that she is busy with exams at college for the whole of January but we could meet up after that. The conversation pretty much died after that and we haven't talked since. (This was 2 days ago)

So my question to you is how long should I leave it before I message her again?? Obviously I don't want her to be put off by me messaging like every day but don't want to leave it too long or she will think I'm not really interested.

I know it sounds a bit pathetic but it's the first time I've ever asked a girl to meet up like that and I really like her so it's kind of a big deal for me.

Thanks for reading and TIA for your replies :)

[ska8er]

I would wait a week and message her asking
how r her classes r going and that u were just
thinking bout her.

[Uniquemind]

Hi - I'll try and keep this relatively short but need to get some details in so you understand the full story, here goes:

Basically I am a second year uni student (in the U.K.) and I go to uni about 3 hours from home so I very rarely go home between holidays. Over Christmas when I was home I went back to do a few shifts at work because they needed some staff and I needed the money too, and whilst I was there I met a girl who had only recently started. We talked a little bit in work and I thought we got on really well. I didn't really think about it at the time but now since leaving work and coming back to uni I have realised that I am actually quite attracted to her!

I have never been in any sort of relationship like this before so didn't really know what to do, but from nowhere I somehow plucked up the courage to send her a Facebook message explaining that I enjoyed meeting her and asking if she fancied meeting for a drink one day. She replied a few minutes later saying that she is busy with exams at college for the whole of January but we could meet up after that. The conversation pretty much died after that and we haven't talked since. (This was 2 days ago)

So my question to you is how long should I leave it before I message her again?? Obviously I don't want her to be put off by me messaging like every day but don't want to leave it too long or she will think I'm not really interested.

I know it sounds a bit pathetic but it's the first time I've ever asked a girl to meet up like that and I really like her so it's kind of a big deal for me.

Thanks for reading and TIA for your replies :)


Yeah two days is nothing. Don't be the guy that does the pestering every couple days.

If it's been longer than a week I'd say that's a good time to message to lock in a clear understanding of a date to hangout, and even then I wouldn't necessarily consider it a romantic date.

[teenuser101]

Update: I messaged her tonight and we talked for a good few hours. Thanks for the help ��

[Uniquemind]

Update: I messaged her tonight and we talked for a good few hours. Thanks for the help ��

So is a date planned or is it more like a friendship thing? I assume no more help or advice is needed?

[teenuser101]

So is a date planned or is it more like a friendship thing? I assume no more help or advice is needed?

We've arranged to meet up for a coffee next weekend. I'm currently seeing it as just getting to know each other a bit better and see how it goes/see how she feels about it. Obviously it'd be great if it went further than being just friends but I'm just taking it one step at a time for now. Don't want to rush her into anything.

[Uniquemind]

We've arranged to meet up for a coffee next weekend. I'm currently seeing it as just getting to know each other a bit better and see how it goes/see how she feels about it. Obviously it'd be great if it went further than being just friends but I'm just taking it one step at a time for now. Don't want to rush her into anything.

Well optimistically, a tip I would provide you, is to record and remember the date of these beginning dates.

Let's assume you get into a long term relationship with this girl, she mentally might consider these beginning "meetups" as the first date.

So remember these dates if say you celebrate various anniversaries in the future.

(We tend to quiz our guys later with statements like "do you remember when we first met?" kind of statements)

[teenuser101]

Well optimistically, a tip I would provide you, is to record and remember the date of these beginning dates.

Let's assume you get into a long term relationship with this girl, she mentally might consider these beginning "meetups" as the first date.

So remember these dates if say you celebrate various anniversaries in the future.

(We tend to quiz our guys later with statements like "do you remember when we first met?" kind of statements)

That's a really good tip to bear in mind, thank you! However, I have just today learned that she is in fact a lesbian and currently has a girlfriend. 🙈 I guess that answers the question about what she wants from it - and that would be nothing more than friends, which will make meeting up a bit more awkward for me than it already would be be!! 🙈 Also it's quite disappointing that nothing is really going to come from it 😕 I guess you win some and you lose some.