Am I a homosexual bisexual or ... What??

[Ffdp16]

My first sexual experiences were through rape or later sexual abuse? I really really don't like old men for this reason because the people who did it were usually over 40 overweight and just disgusting. I had a girl friend at 13. She was really outgoing and asked me out and I realized I was attracted to her and that I'd give her a try. In a our relationship I always felt those 3 months like we were alright and I liked her a lot. But it wasn't the normal straight relationship that my friends had. I was always told growing up I was a homosexual. I have my mom's face. And I'm black and was around a lot of black people. My mom's white and I have lighter eyes. So I have a very femme look. I kissed a boy when I was 11. But I don't know I'd that was just me acting out or not. I would touch other boys forcefully but it was more a control thing. When I was 14, I fell for a transgender woman. I didn't know at first. I liked her a lot and had a crazy crush on her. She was a college white girl blond hair blue eyes perfect skin nice tits long legs sexy seductive voice and seemed to after a while to have taken an interest in me. We started dating she informed me after it got physical that was anatomically male. And I didn't really want to be with her But we ended up continuing our relationship. I enjoyed sex with her and the relationship. When I was 15 I got a crush on another girl who I ended up getting pregnant but terminated. I really liked her a lot but we split up after she got pregnant. She was again a lot like my first girlfriend assertive spontaneous outgoing made me feel like I was worth something not just a piece of ass a pretty face or that I was being used and we fit perfectly together. I had a few flings with another girl I met a few months ago. Now again I'm with a guy. This time around it's because I've got nowhere to go since I'm homeless it's all I can offer. I don't mind our sex life though. I get off just fine. He has cute nipples and a nice body very masculine and I feel like our personalities fit but he doesn't treat me the way I'd like to be treated. Like he doesn't treat me like an SO. More like a piece of ass just enamored with my body not me. I'm a bit of an emotional person I don't like being used for sex. But I guess I don't really like him so I'm using him for his money. But I still prefer women. It's just as a person that looks female I'm just using what works for me. Overall people always think I'm a homosexual because I look very femme. I'm tall but I have really big/full lips small nose and light hazel eyes and soft long curly black hair. I'm really skinny with a small frame and slight boobs. I even like to look like a girl I like wearing skinny jeans and make up and straightening my hair. People don't realize I'm a guy until I talk even without make up or my hair done. So people always assume I'm homosexual. But I like girls too a lot. I hardly notice guys. But I'm always looking at girls. But I can enjoy gay sex just as much as straight. And I'm very submissive in any relationship I'm in. With sex as well. That's why I like dominant girls or guys. I have fantasies about anal sex with a girl with a strapon more than I do with a guy. That turns me on more I know it's weird but it's a fantasy I so deeply want to try out. I also like the female physique more. In clothing it just screams out at me while it doesn't with guys. But I do like sex with guys and I feel like I should like guys more because that's what everyone else thinks. And I feel girls assume I like guys just by looking at me. Most of the time that is why I'm single though. Anyhow am I bisexual homosexual or straight?

[Karkat]

Well, I'm never going to tell you 'what' you are, because that's your own journey, and your own conclusion to come to, but it sounds like you could be bisexual or pansexual. You might even be bigender, but you never mentioned feeling like you were a woman as well, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Miles Jai is a man who dresses like a woman. (No, I'm serious, his gender is male, but he entirely prefers female clothes. He even mentioned getting rid of all his male clothes because he likes female fashion so much more.)

I'd say pansexual, because you mentioned being involved with a transgender woman, as opposed to bisexual, which usually means cisgender men and women. It doesn't have to, some people use bisexual and pansexual interchangeably. But it doesn't seem like you're gay, because you like women as well.

Hope this helps. :)

[Croconaw]

Only you know what your sexuality is. Nobody here is going to decide for you. It seems like you're bisexual given your information here.

[Ffdp16]

Well, I'm never going to tell you 'what' you are, because that's your own journey, and your own conclusion to come to, but it sounds like you could be bisexual or pansexual. You might even be bigender, but you never mentioned feeling like you were a woman as well, so that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Miles Jai is a man who dresses like a woman. (No, I'm serious, his gender is male, but he entirely prefers female clothes. He even mentioned getting rid of all his male clothes because he likes female fashion so much more.)

I'd say pansexual, because you mentioned being involved with a transgender woman, as opposed to bisexual, which usually means cisgender men and women. It doesn't have to, some people use bisexual and pansexual interchangeably. But it doesn't seem like you're gay, because you like women as well.

Hope this helps. :)

I've never heard of that term...


And I don't like dresses. My male parts kind of well yeah they do weird me out though. I don't mind them on others just on it's ehhh. I also like female pronouns or just my name Jody. But I always envy and lust after girls with wide hips and narrow shoulders and overall small delicate china doll physiques. And I hate that my voice is so masculine it's very bass in terms of how deep and low it is. I hate hearing it. So basically yeah I don't like my male parts at all. I've always thought I fantasize about sex with a vagina not with a penis. I know though I am a guy so I accept that. But it's hard for my mind to see myself as male. But I don't feel dangerously so that it makes me depressed. I also like my femme qualities like my boobs and face. I like make up but some people I do it like a goth... My friends tend to be males though especially very femme gays or tomboys but I prefer guys as oppose to girls as friends. I rather dress in female clothing but not dresses or skirts. I like being perceived as a female though its what I see in the mirror anyhow. The most feminine I'd dress is cheetah print leggings or black leggings with a push up bra and a short shirt. With high heels. On average I'd just wear skinny jeans and a dark t-shirt with make up.




EDIT
But idk growing what it means to be female and all I think in my household was fucked up and the sexual abuse is probably the reason I think this way anyhow.

All the women in my family were prostitutes beaten raped and emotionally treated like dogs. That's how I was treated by being a child prostitute. Before that, I was a normal boy rely.

[Ethe14]

Maybe bisexual? But really only you can know.

[Karkat]

I've never heard of that term...


And I don't like dresses. My male parts kind of well yeah they do weird me out though. I don't mind them on others just on it's ehhh. I also like female pronouns or just my name Jody. But I always envy and lust after girls with wide hips and narrow shoulders and overall small delicate china doll physiques. And I hate that my voice is so masculine it's very bass in terms of how deep and low it is. I hate hearing it. So basically yeah I don't like my male parts at all. I've always thought I fantasize about sex with a vagina not with a penis. I know though I am a guy so I accept that. But it's hard for my mind to see myself as male. But I don't feel dangerously so that it makes me depressed. I also like my femme qualities like my boobs and face. I like make up but some people I do it like a goth... My friends tend to be males though especially very femme gays or tomboys but I prefer guys as oppose to girls as friends. I rather dress in female clothing but not dresses or skirts. I like being perceived as a female though its what I see in the mirror anyhow.

But idk growing what it means to be female and all I think in my household was fucked up and the sexual abuse is probably the reason I think this way anyhow.

Pansexual means you're attracted to all genders, it's trans-inclusive. Whereas bigender usually just means you're attracted to men and women who were born men and women. (Cisgender means you identify with your parts.)

You very possibly could be bigender, or genderqueer, or something. I personally am bigender (I was born female.). I love looking like a girl, and dressing like a girl, and being a girl, I like the way I am in a sexual sense as well, but I also tend to be very masculine at times, and I enjoy presenting myself as male as well. I'm more of what you'd call a 'femme' type boy, but that's fine with me. I don't feel the need to be all virile and macho manly man, haha. Sometimes, I feel gender neutral, sometimes I feel like a tomboyish girl, or a feminine man, sometimes I feel like a girl and a guy at the same time. I always felt weird growing up, because I fantasized about being a boy, and I felt like a boy sometimes, but I still wanted to be a girl. I never thought I was transgender because I knew I liked being a girl too.

AH I do not blame you with skirts and dresses at all! I've grown used to them, but mostly only because they look good/they look good on me.

Edit: That's really awful. I'm sorry. :( It could have something to do with it, but it doesn't have to. If dressing up like a girl doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, and you like it, you shouldn't let your past stop you. :) I actually have been sexually abused/molested and raped, so I can relate to that on some level, but I don't feel like it's affected my gender identity or sexuality.

[Ffdp16]

Pansexual means you're attracted to all genders, it's trans-inclusive. Whereas bigender usually just means you're attracted to men and women who were born men and women. (Cisgender means you identify with your parts.)

You very possibly could be bigender, or genderqueer, or something. I personally am bigender (I was born female.). I love looking like a girl, and dressing like a girl, and being a girl, I like the way I am in a sexual sense as well, but I also tend to be very masculine at times, and I enjoy presenting myself as male as well. I'm more of what you'd call a 'femme' type boy, but that's fine with me. I don't feel the need to be all virile and macho manly man, haha. Sometimes, I feel gender neutral, sometimes I feel like a tomboyish girl, or a feminine man, sometimes I feel like a girl and a guy at the same time. I always felt weird growing up, because I fantasized about being a boy, and I felt like a boy sometimes, but I still wanted to be a girl. I never thought I was transgender because I knew I liked being a girl too.

AH I do not blame you with skirts and dresses at all! I've grown used to them, but mostly only because they look good/they look good on me.

Edit: That's really awful. I'm sorry. :( It could have something to do with it, but it doesn't have to. If dressing up like a girl doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, and you like it, you shouldn't let your past stop you. :) I actually have been sexually abused/molested and raped, so I can relate to that on some level, but I don't feel like it's affected my gender identity or sexuality.

I'm not really attracted to transmen I don't think not especially crazy about transwoman I don't have a thing for transwomen at least. But I have found some attractive.

I don't really like looking like a guy. And right now I don't really look like one even. People think I'm just a tall thin girl. Sometimes, when I try to lighten it a bit and even though I sound obviously male I still get referred to as she. I just wish I was anatomically female. I dress like a girl because I don't feel right otherwise. I never really like anything masculine ABOUT me tbh if I could make a wish I'd be a woman. Nothing else.

I'm not into fashion really other than an occasion. I'm a very casual type. I'm not ultra feminine. I'm more in the middle.

[Karkat]

I'm not really attracted to transmen I don't think not especially crazy about transwoman I don't have a thing for transwomen at least.

I don't really like looking like a guy. And right now I don't really look like one even. I just wish I was anatomically female. I dress like a girl because I don't feel right otherwise. I never really like anything masculine ABOUT me tbh if I could make a wish I'd be a woman. Nothing else.

Alright, sounds more like you're bigender then. Have you ever thought you might be transgender?

[Ffdp16]

Also I don't know if how I feel is real that's why I'm skeptical to say I'm transgender.


As of now how I feel is like I wish my body was female and my gender expression was neutral on the female side. But the type of girl makes me question. I think it's just a representation of the women in my family because dressing more femme the only time I enjoy dressing extra femme is when I'm dressed like some type of prostitute really.

[Ffdp16]

Alright, sounds more like you're bigender then. Have you ever thought you might be transgender?

If anything transgender... My male parts creep me out.

I'd be happier with a female body.

But I think it's fulfilling a role rather than being a real woman.

[Karkat]

If anything transgender... My male parts creep me out.

I'd be happier with a female body.

But I think it's fulfilling a role rather than being a real woman.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that last part.

[Ffdp16]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by that last part.

When I think of it maybe I'm wrong.

Because inside I just feel female my style has nothing to do with it.

But inside when I was a child sometimes I felt like things were odd like my body looked weird or that my voice was weird. But I didn't feel a gender I didn't really care I was normal back then.

Anyhow, I get that my gender identity is off I'm ok with that really.

[Ffdp16]

It's just I sorta think when I'm ultra femme it's in a sleezy way. I'm not naturally very femme or masculine. I'm just neutral but I just don't feel right.

I have always disliked things that distinguished my gender like my penis or my voice. I was a lot happier though as a kid then I am now. As far as this

[Karkat]

When I think of it maybe I'm wrong.

Because inside I just feel female my style has nothing to do with it.

But inside when I was a child sometimes I felt like things were odd like my body looked weird or that my voice was weird. But I didn't feel a gender I didn't really care I was normal back then.

Anyhow, I get that my gender identity is off I'm ok with that really.

Maybe you're agender/non-binary, meaning you don't really feel one or the other. :)

I didn't really think it mattered if I had a label for myself, but it does make things easier to explain, and I found that it was easier for me when I decided that I was bigender.

You don't have to conform to a gender identity though. It's your choice in the end, you do what's comfortable for you. :)

[Ffdp16]

Maybe you're agender/non-binary, meaning you don't really feel one or the other. :)

I didn't really think it mattered if I had a label for myself, but it does make things easier to explain, and I found that it was easier for me when I decided that I was bigender.

You don't have to conform to a gender identity though. It's your choice in the end, you do what's comfortable for you. :)

I may have been agender as a child but I was a lot like other boys. I now definitely feel it does matter and that's why I want to be female. But that's why I'm unsure because I don't trust myself and feel they're not my original thought like when I was a kid so magbe that's my true gender but I just feel trans now.

Thanks for your comment.

[Karkat]

I may have been agender as a child but I was a lot like other boys. I now definitely feel it does matter and that's why I want to be female. But that's why I'm unsure because I don't trust myself and feel they're not my original thought like when I was a kid so magbe that's my true gender but I just feel trans now.

Thanks for your comment.

Eh, Our understanding of ourselves grows with time. Don't be afraid to do what you think is right for you. :)

You're absolutely welcome. Good luck. :)

[spaniardo]

All really confusing to me. And society makes it even harder for young people to know what sexuality is all about. Facebook is going to have a range of 'preferences' now. Not just male or female. Soon we'll need a dictionary just to define the plethora of gender types.

[Karkat]

All really confusing to me. And society makes it even harder for young people to know what sexuality is all about. Facebook is going to have a range of 'preferences' now. Not just male or female. Soon we'll need a dictionary just to define the plethora of gender types.

I've thought about utilizing that feature, but I just took my gender off instead. I haven't officially come out, and I don't feel the need to, so I'll leave it be for now. Glad we have the option though.

[Ffdp16]

Eh, Our understanding of ourselves grows with time. Don't be afraid to do what you think is right for you. :)

You're absolutely welcome. Good luck. :)

Maybe it was puberty. Maybe not.


Thanks again and good luck.

[Ffdp16]

All really confusing to me. And society makes it even harder for young people to know what sexuality is all about. Facebook is going to have a range of 'preferences' now. Not just male or female. Soon we'll need a dictionary just to define the plethora of gender types.

I didn't know that at all. I'm going to to sign in and see my options. Just to look.

[Karkat]

Maybe it was puberty. Maybe not.


Thanks again and good luck.

Maybe. :)

No problem at all. Thanks. :)