does popularity influence who you date

[Pyromaniac27]

Does popularity influence who you date, trying 2 figure out if I even have a shot at a girlfriend. Bonus question: can friends influence who dates you?

[Microcosm]

By my experience, the answer to the first question is often times yes. Most of the couples I've seen are on a similar social level in terms of what activities they participate in, how well they treat their appearance, and who or how many people they talk to.

However, you still have a chance if you want to date someone who is far from your perceived social level. This usually means you will have to know them longer before you date, though. They'll have to find areas of who you are with which they can compensate with any social drawbacks. Doing this and growing comfortable with this can take time, and sometimes it doesn't work out in the end anyways due to some general incompatibilities that you can't effectively control.

So, it can be a gamble. I tried to ask a girl that was considered "popular" to date me once. She said no and I didn't take offense at it or anything. People just tend to like others who they are compatible with and perceived social standing plays a big role in that.

[BlackParadePixie]

1st question: no. at least I don't think so. None of the guys I have dated were "super popular"

2nd question: If I'm understanding this question correctly...then yes. Most of the guys I've dated were friends of friends before I got to know them, and were introduced to me by those friends.

[Phosphene]

To answer your first question, no, it doesn't. It does, however, influence who you think you can date. If you like someone and want to have a relationship with them, but they are at a different social level, you may assume that they wouldn't want to date you. Not all people are like this, so by not actually taking the chance and asking the person out, you could be missing out on a good relationship.

For the 2nd question, unfortunately yes. At least from my experience.

[Emerald Dream]

The first question is no, and unfortunately - too many people think yes. Don't let other people tell you that someone else is "too pretty" or "too smart" or anything similar about a person you want to date, or even just get to know better. I hate the whole "out of my/your league" mentality. That doesn't exist with me. If two people are compatible, regardless of one being perceived by others as "better" or some wack ass social construct (popularity) - then they have every right to be approachable, friends, or even dating one another.

The second question is yes, it's possible - but my own personal experience makes it improbable. I'm going to talk or be with to who I want, and I expect someone I am dating to have the same attitude.

[brandon9]

I don't necessarily believe that popularity itself determines who you can and cannot date - I know a lot of popular people that stick only to popular people, and I know some really popular people who have got with less popular (yet still well-known) people. However, I can't say I've ever seen someone from say upper tier social status and super low tier status get together. But it is totally possible and okay to venture past your perceived social level if you really like someone. The worst they can say is no.

The second question is an absolute yes answer. The people you meet 90% of the time will know at least one other person you know, who knows someone, who knows someone else, etc etc. So friendships have a lot to do with who you meet. Also, few people are willing to commit to someone that their friends highly disapprove of, they seek a measure of acceptance.

[everlong]

I wouldn't try to let popularity influence who I date, though the more popular girls aren't my type anyway. I would believe that friends could influence who I date, though I don't think friends have had any affect on who I date as of now. Not yet, at least.

[ska8er]

No I don't look for the most popular girl-
personality and sense of humor I look for.
Some of the best girls r ones that r not into
themselves. Bonus-Sure friends will try to
influence u-both guys and girls r always
trying to set up dates-doesn't mean u have
to listen to them tho I would go on a date a
friend made just to c if we would click.

[Kory123]

It really depends on how well you guys know each other. As long as you have something in common you have a chance :). Like if your not considered popular but you got randomly chosen as partners in class, that's something you have in common and talk about and you can use to get to know each other. If you see someone and think they are hot, then I really don't think you like them, you just think they are attractive. I've been friends with this girl since pre-k and she's popular af, im in a middle type class, but that's something we have in common and we use that to talk to each other and keep our connection going. We have now been dating for 2 years now :).

OKAY, point/answer is: no it shouldn't, as long as you guys have something in common and are good friends and don't see the other person has "ew".

Below I have randomly decided to see how I views my high school into groups




School is sadly a hierarchical place, at my school I see it divided into these groups: The top popular group being well developed, rich, well known throughout the community, athletic, pretty and aesthetic/good lucking, style, dangerous and feared, has a group and friends and good looking reputation in life and on social media, admired, funny, and talented. Similar to middle class

(To sum that up) something that would give you a good first impression

Lowest group: seen as poor, trashy, obnoxious, bad reputation (rumor spreader), smelly, loud, selfish, annoying, nosy, bossy, (raised like an only child), has a high ego

Middle class: kids that aren't classified as popular, nor treated like the lowest majority, mainly left alone and is around kids that are like them. Mainly quiet but has a group of friends that share very similar and common interests. Kids that can relate. This class is like the top group but just mysterious. Similar to middle class.

First and middle class is just chill kids, in order for you to be identified as the lowest class you have to be like a egotistical bratty person. Yeah you meet them throughout your life who only care about themselves

It'll be common you see children they can relate to or share hints in common with, that's how societies/groups/hierarchical ranks are made. You'll see sporty players hanging with each other, cool girls with eachother, the country people, the meme and comedians, the fandom people, the "chill and savage but can slay you" squads, the smart people.

You'll find the trashy/annoying/bratty/snotty/stuck up/selfish/backstabbing people and the wannabe fakes, etc. in the lowest group

[Pyromaniac27]

Thanks guys/gals for the feedback, from the answers to this, I have a better dating chance then I thought!

Does popularity influence who you date, trying 2 figure out if I even have a shot at a girlfriend. Bonus question: can friends influence who dates you?
I suppose I should also mention that I have 1 friend, who is in the same boat as me, and we really don't classify as any social class, we basically do are own thing and no one pays attention unless we cross a line in the sand where we get either yelled at or beat up...


Double posts merged. ~Lost Horizon

[RJH98]

For me, popularity has no influence in who I date, as it shouldn't matter. I do think my friends play a big role, because if I wasn't friends with my friends I never would've met any of my past girlfriends

[jamie_n5]

I don't think popularity influences most people. There are of course the groups like the jock cheerleader types that may stay in their group for dating but even there I don't think it is a total influence. People with similar interests and activities seem to date each other. As a whole I think people just meet or find an attraction for each other and date.
For your 2nd question. I definitely think that friends can influence who you date. It is natural for friends to introduce others to their friends. Those introductions can easily lead to dating.
Finally I don't think anyone is out of any others league when it comes to dating. You have a shot at dating whom ever you choose if you just ask them out.

[Uniquemind]

Depends on where you decide to "fish" and what type of "fish" you're looking for.

Some it will matter, others it won't, but what does matter is the type of social circles you're able to penetrate and start flowing in, because who and how you meet will always affect the concept of networking for anything. (Job connections, love life, sex life, friends).


So the answer isn't that there's a direct link, the answer is that is a degree of separation between the probability of dating person X and what position you place yourself in in order to get introduced in a positive manner, before someone else beats you to the catch.

It's game theory after all.

[dude_g]

Sadly it does sometimes

[Miss Ophelia]

Sometimes its the other way round. You become popular because you are dating a certain person.
But it doesnt matter and make any difference.

[ethan-s]

Popularity? No, it would not.

[Just JT]

Generally speaking yes. But that doesn't apply to everyone either. It does not apply to me. It all depends on the person and their make up of values. Some people are very superficial and worried about perception and image and let that and their friends influence things like that. But that also doesn't mean it's always as bad as that either. It's like on a spectrum I think. We all wana be cool and all. But who wants to be in a relationship with someone you probably don't like only cause someone else thinks you should for what ever reason?

[Melodic]

Popularity isn't important to me since I'm out of high school and it doesn't even matter anymore. In high school, I was able to fit in more with the outcasts so popularity was a bit of an influence of who I dated.

[Miss Ophelia]

I found the weird outcast people far more interesting than the popular kids. :)

[ClaraWho]

'Have a shot at a girlfriend' - relationships aren't prizes or tokens. If you like another human being to the extent you want to spend more time with them than anyone else, that is your place to start. Stop worrying about 'who do I need to be/what boxes do I need to tick'. Just get to know girls like human biengs, and if you develop feelings, see if they are shared.

As for popularity - girls who are only interested in you because you are popular, are only interested in what you can do for their social status. Some girls like popular, some don't, and some don't give a monkeys butt. Just like guys. Because we're all human beings with different personalities.

~ Clara