Is it weird?

[Elena_]

I am 16, but one of my kinks is having sex with a +20 year old guy. I am bisexual I guess (I havent made out with a girl yet) but Im not that aroused by older girls.

Im also into BDSM, I want to try it so bad; although I dont have a boyfriend/friend with benefits :(

So I was just wondering if this was weird or not, because most people say that its illegal and stuff :s

[brandon9]

One thing I'm not clear on is if this guy is in his 20s, or if he is 20 years older than your friend. The implications of each are vastly different in nature so it's hard to really consider unless that fact is cleared up.

Either way, it is illegal if the friend is a minor.

[Elena_]

One thing I'm not clear on is if this guy is in his 20s, or if he is 20 years older than your friend. The implications of each are vastly different in nature so it's hard to really consider unless that fact is cleared up.

Either way, it is illegal if the friend is a minor.

What friend? I was talking about me xdd

[brandon9]

What friend? I was talking about me xdd


Oh shit, I was reading this on my phone originally and my dumb ass misread the small text haha. Now that I'm on a computer I see my error. My bad lol.

Certainly clarifies the facts! I wouldn't say its too weird, in my newfound clarity of what the hell I'm talking about

[Elena_]

Oh shit, I was reading this on my phone originally and my dumb ass misread the small text haha. Now that I'm on a computer I see my error. My bad lol.

Certainly clarifies the facts! I wouldn't say its too weird, in my newfound clarity of what the hell I'm talking about

Oh haha its fine dont worry:)

The point is that i have been texting this 24 yo guy for some days and he has just told me to go to his house to watch a film. But i have already arranged to meet my friends tomorrow, ugh :d

[brandon9]

Oh haha its fine dont worry:)

The point is that i have been texting this 24 yo guy for some days and he has just told me to go to his house to watch a film. But i have already arranged to meet my friends tomorrow, ugh :d

Well I certainly can't say shit, I messed around with a 23 year old girl I worked with for about 3 months, and I was 17 at the time, so yeah sounds eerily familiar lol

I mean I don't know the guy, obviously, but whether or not you go tomorrow or some other time, be careful. If you don't feel you can trust him 100% then don't do anything at all with him. A lot of people will tell you off for even considering the thought, I can't because that'd be hypocritical of me, but just exercise caution. And for God's sake, if you two DO have any consensual sexual contact at any point ever, don't tell anyone unless you want him imprisoned. Keyword is consensual, lol.

[Elena_]

Well I certainly can't say shit, I messed around with a 23 year old girl I worked with for about 3 months, and I was 17 at the time, so yeah sounds eerily familiar lol

I mean I don't know the guy, obviously, but whether or not you go tomorrow or some other time, be careful. If you don't feel you can trust him 100% then don't do anything at all with him. A lot of people will tell you off for even considering the thought, I can't because that'd be hypocritical of me, but just exercise caution. And for God's sake, if you two DO have any consensual sexual contact at any point ever, don't tell anyone unless you want him imprisoned. Keyword is consensual, lol.

Oh and are you still with that girl? Or was it just casual s*x?


In my country it is legal to have sex if you are over 16, so Im not worried about that :) In fact, I have already had sex with a 20 yo boy , i told my friends and they got mad at me tho but that was all.


Anyway, Im not gonna hang out with this guy tomorrow, but i will someday... Would it be aceptable to do "stuff" with him then? XD

[brandon9]

Oh and are you still with that girl? Or was it just casual s*x?


In my country it is legal to have sex if you are over 16, so Im not worried about that :) In fact, I have already had sex with a 20 yo boy , i told my friends and they got mad at me tho but that was all.


Anyway, Im not gonna hang out with this guy tomorrow, but i will someday... Would it be aceptable to do "stuff" with him then? XD

Nah, we never even officially got together lol. We didn't start messing around sexually until like ~2ish months but it was mostly a lot of touching. Most of our interaction together was at work so it was kinda sneaky. Most I got from her was a bj.

If you're past the age of consent for your country then it's not a bad thing at all, just don't get a std or some other bad shit lol. A lot of people just see the age gap as something that's wrong, more so with guys and younger girls than guys with older girls.

[niklas]

I wouldn't say it's weird. People are into different things and maybe what's weird to one person isn't weird to another.

[Elena_]

Nah, we never even officially got together lol. We didn't start messing around sexually until like ~2ish months but it was mostly a lot of touching. Most of our interaction together was at work so it was kinda sneaky. Most I got from her was a bj.

If you're past the age of consent for your country then it's not a bad thing at all, just don't get a std or some other bad shit lol. A lot of people just see the age gap as something that's wrong, more so with guys and younger girls than guys with older girls.

Oh, it wasnt bad then, people dont usually get bjs at work haha


And I have decided to use a condom whenever I have sex, so yeah, I would be careful xD Although he doesnt look like that kind of guy who is always sleeping around, but just in case :)

I wouldn't say it's weird. People are into different things and maybe what's weird to one person isn't weird to another.

I know haha But you know, many people find that gross or inadequate :s

Double posts merged - please use the edit or multiquote functions next time. ~Lost Horizon

[ClaraWho]

Is having meaningless sex with much older men 'weird'? Yes. As in it isn't normal.

But if you are only looking to be used for sex, and you are okay with that and the potential consequences (contraception isn't 100% prevention), then who is anyone to tell you not to?

It might be worth considering why you hold sex with such a casual attitude, and why you feel that you prefer casual sex to building meaningful relationships.

Keep in mind your friends want what is best for you, but they are only 16. I think you'll regret the way you behaved when you are older, and the situations you put yourself in, but that is just my opinion. Would you be okay with your daughter acting like this, or a best friend?

Older men who want to have sex with children (yes, we're only 16!) are creepy. In your example he is 8 yrs older than you. You have nothing meaningful in common and should be enjoying your childhood, not trying to act like an adult before you are mentally ready. Your entire personality and view of the world will dramatically change every year until you are 20, then gradually slow thereafter. The difference in age = a difference in maturity.

What if you get pregnant? Do you think he's going to tell ANYONE he had sex with a 16 yr old? He'd cast you aside. You're just sex.

Finally, guys that want sex from 16 yr olds don't care about going even younger if they can get it.

~ Clara

[jamie_n5]

Well in my state the age of consent is 16 but with that large gap in age your parents could still have charges pressed against the guy because of that age difference if they found out. As far as being weird I would say no. To each their own. I would still be careful and not desperate in trying to find a guy for sex. It very well could end up very badly if you get some creep guy.

[niklas]

I know haha But you know, many people find that gross or inadequate :s

Well I'm sure some people would think it's gross that I kinda like the smell of worn undies ... so, it's all good :D

[brandon9]

Oh, it wasnt bad then, people dont usually get bjs at work haha


And I have decided to use a condom whenever I have sex, so yeah, I would be careful xD Although he doesnt look like that kind of guy who is always sleeping around, but just in case :)

Her and I got a bit adventurous lol. And that's smart, it blows my mind how many people I know don't use condoms, I'm like "You're 17 do you want a fucking kid?" haha

[lliam]

So I was just wondering if this was weird or not, because most people say that its illegal and stuff :s


Even if it's weird for me, what you describe in your post, doesn't necessary mean, it has to be weird for you.

And I don't want talk about if it's legal or not. You are 16, and imo old enough to decide if it's ok for you or not.

So, if you can handle the situation mentally and there is no physical danger for you, and ...apart from what your parents may say about it, fuck the law and those who think that would be strange or illegal. Do what you think is right.


But If you've the slightest doubt, break up the whole thing immediately.

[Elena_]

Is having meaningless sex with much older men 'weird'? Yes. As in it isn't normal.

But if you are only looking to be used for sex, and you are okay with that and the potential consequences (contraception isn't 100% prevention), then who is anyone to tell you not to?

It might be worth considering why you hold sex with such a casual attitude, and why you feel that you prefer casual sex to building meaningful relationships.

Keep in mind your friends want what is best for you, but they are only 16. I think you'll regret the way you behaved when you are older, and the situations you put yourself in, but that is just my opinion. Would you be okay with your daughter acting like this, or a best friend?

Older men who want to have sex with children (yes, we're only 16!) are creepy. In your example he is 8 yrs older than you. You have nothing meaningful in common and should be enjoying your childhood, not trying to act like an adult before you are mentally ready. Your entire personality and view of the world will dramatically change every year until you are 20, then gradually slow thereafter. The difference in age = a difference in maturity.

What if you get pregnant? Do you think he's going to tell ANYONE he had sex with a 16 yr old? He'd cast you aside. You're just sex.

Finally, guys that want sex from 16 yr olds don't care about going even younger if they can get it.

~ Clara


Well, I know that being in a relationship could be much better ... but I havent found anybody who I want to date and wants to date me (plus, i dont like romantic stuff)

In relation to sex, he hasnt mentioned it yet. We havent even hung out. My friends are older than me (17-23), and they are more experienced (obviously) but they respect people's sexual lives.

Anyway, I will just give it a try. And if I dont like it, I can date/hook up with other people.


Well in my state the age of consent is 16 but with that large gap in age your parents could still have charges pressed against the guy because of that age difference if they found out. As far as being weird I would say no. To each their own. I would still be careful and not desperate in trying to find a guy for sex. It very well could end up very badly if you get some creep guy.

My parents dont have to find out lol

Her and I got a bit adventurous lol. And that's smart, it blows my mind how many people I know don't use condoms, I'm like "You're 17 do you want a fucking kid?" haha

Not only a baby. Just think about all the STDs you can get xD

Even if it's weird for me, what you describe in your post, doesn't necessary mean, it has to be weird for you.

And I don't want talk about if it's legal or not. You are 16, and imo old enough to decide if it's ok for you or not.

So, if you can handle the situation mentally and there is no physical danger for you, and ...apart from what your parents may say about it, fuck the law and those who think that would be strange or illegal. Do what you think is right.


But If you've the slightest doubt, break up the whole thing immediately.


Indeed! I wont do anything againsts my own principles

[ClaraWho]

Well, I know that being in a relationship could be much better ... but I havent found anybody who I want to date and wants to date me (plus, i dont like romantic stuff)

In relation to sex, he hasnt mentioned it yet. We havent even hung out. My friends are older than me (17-23), and they are more experienced (obviously) but they respect people's sexual lives.

Anyway, I will just give it a try. And if I dont like it, I can date/hook up with other people.




My parents dont have to find out lol



Not only a baby. Just think about all the STDs you can get xD




Indeed! I wont do anything againsts my own principles

It's interesting how you asked for people to give their opinion on a topic you clearly have your mind set on. Not sure why you feel you need to justify your choices to a group of strangers, but you may want to ask yourself why you feel you need anonymous approval of your actions before you take them. Perhaps you aren't as sure of yourself as your defences/responses would suggest. I would consider asking yourself why you posted this here in the first place and re-evaluate your approach. Just some food for thought.

~ Clara

[Living For Love]

This whole thread is inappropriate. :locked: