mynameistaken
September 17th, 2016, 06:53 PM
Tl;dr at bottom
I haven't been on this forum in a long time and I was never an active member however I felt like making my final post just now. I was depressed for years and constantly contemplating suicide throughout high school and beyond; I even attempted a few times.
After high school I worked for a couple years and saved up money for university all while grappling with my own thoughts and lack of motivation because I was never quite sure if I would be alive the following morning. I also never really knew that the way I thought was different than the way 'stable' people thought because I actively made sure to never have deep interpersonal conversations or relationships.
Anyways, a couple years went by and I applied for university and was accepted. received some scholarships and had a fair bit of money because I never drank much (hint* because of the depression and lack of close friends thing). I left my hometown for what may as well have been the first time ever and set out on my own but while I was in first year my illness started to get the better of me and I fell into a deep funk.
At this point I became sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided that I would reach out for help for the first time ever. I went to a little assistance group on campus and disclosed the details about my mental state and shortly after spoke to a doctor. I was put on medication and constantly monitored which was very difficult for me because I was never used to relying on anyone for help. eventually some person who I'll call john convinced me to let my family know about my situation.
I followed his advice and told my family, the news devastated my parents but they were 100% accepting of me and didn't treat me differently. They were only mad at me for not letting them know sooner and at themselves for not noticing what was wrong.
With all this I finally established my own support circle and started feeling happy for the first time in recent memory however I am now facing new troubles. I have been so closed up in my shell for so long that I had never established any close relationships over the years not to mention having any form of romantic relationship. I missed a whole chapter of life because I wasn't able to confront my illness and problems head on and am now starting to build myself from zero.
That being said my illness doesn't inhibit me anymore and I feel I can finally start living life and experiencing all the emotions I never experienced before. The road ahead is a struggle; but it is one I look forward to because if there is anything I have learned from my experience it is that it is never to late to seek help but it is definitely better to find it sooner rather than later.
Tl;dr: had depression, got help, got medicated/ support system, feel better, new challenges of building a life from scratch, never to late for help but better to get it sooner.
I haven't been on this forum in a long time and I was never an active member however I felt like making my final post just now. I was depressed for years and constantly contemplating suicide throughout high school and beyond; I even attempted a few times.
After high school I worked for a couple years and saved up money for university all while grappling with my own thoughts and lack of motivation because I was never quite sure if I would be alive the following morning. I also never really knew that the way I thought was different than the way 'stable' people thought because I actively made sure to never have deep interpersonal conversations or relationships.
Anyways, a couple years went by and I applied for university and was accepted. received some scholarships and had a fair bit of money because I never drank much (hint* because of the depression and lack of close friends thing). I left my hometown for what may as well have been the first time ever and set out on my own but while I was in first year my illness started to get the better of me and I fell into a deep funk.
At this point I became sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided that I would reach out for help for the first time ever. I went to a little assistance group on campus and disclosed the details about my mental state and shortly after spoke to a doctor. I was put on medication and constantly monitored which was very difficult for me because I was never used to relying on anyone for help. eventually some person who I'll call john convinced me to let my family know about my situation.
I followed his advice and told my family, the news devastated my parents but they were 100% accepting of me and didn't treat me differently. They were only mad at me for not letting them know sooner and at themselves for not noticing what was wrong.
With all this I finally established my own support circle and started feeling happy for the first time in recent memory however I am now facing new troubles. I have been so closed up in my shell for so long that I had never established any close relationships over the years not to mention having any form of romantic relationship. I missed a whole chapter of life because I wasn't able to confront my illness and problems head on and am now starting to build myself from zero.
That being said my illness doesn't inhibit me anymore and I feel I can finally start living life and experiencing all the emotions I never experienced before. The road ahead is a struggle; but it is one I look forward to because if there is anything I have learned from my experience it is that it is never to late to seek help but it is definitely better to find it sooner rather than later.
Tl;dr: had depression, got help, got medicated/ support system, feel better, new challenges of building a life from scratch, never to late for help but better to get it sooner.