Atlantis
September 17th, 2016, 10:46 AM
I just need to get this out of my mind. I've honestly been thinking about posting this for weeks now, both before and after the summer holidays, but I think it's time that I let it all out.
I'm getting really really stressed and depressed about school at the moment. A few years ago, I used to love going to school; I was really happy going there. But now, over the past year or so all of that has changed. There's a few reasons why this is happening, I think.
First of all, as time goes on, I increasingly feel quite isolated from everyone. I'm a massive introvert and I just feel quite sad that I'm not that great with making friends, I'm not that great at going out. It just makes me feel worse than I already am. I hear about all these things that people I know are doing and it just makes me feel bad that I just don't have the confidence to go and ask them whether I could go. I do get along well with them, but when it comes to talking and large groups, I just get so scared that I don't want to be there with them.
Second, I just think way too much is expected of us at school. I'm not one of those people who goes 'I'll fail so I might as well not try', I honestly try my best in everything that I do. And in some subjects, I do get bullied quite a lot and they just yell at me 'Go on LH, just do it!!!!' then that really puts my self esteem down. I'm trying my best, it's not like I'm messing around just to annoy you is it? People think that they can boss me around because they're better than me. It's been going on for nearly 3 years, been reported several times and yet nothing seems to be happening. It hasn't been that bad since we've been back after the summer, but it's still happening. More generally though, school expects us to do too well. One of our mottos is 'only the best is good enough' so why do you still expect us to do more and more and more? My school now give you a mark, 1-5 for every single lesson. 1 is the best, 5 is the worst. And because of the stupid way they mark it, people who are quiet and shy and have anxiety issues (like me) can only get 3's and 4's. And then they complain at us saying we don't do enough. I still do all the work, get grade A's but no... the people who are loud, and quite frankly show-offs are the ones who are getting the 1's and 2's. That just stresses me as I really want to do my best, and people aren't showing me any appreciation for it. All they also go on about is exams exams exams. They are months away, but yes they want us to do well but putting pressure on this early will only make people more and more worried.
And finally, as I've already said I get really anxious in large groups, and especially when it's loud. Which makes the canteen a problem. It's so loud, and people pushing .Yes that probably happens in every school, but for me when it gets that crowded, that loud, I just need to get out of there which means I don't really eat at school anymore. That's definitely something that needs to be sorted out.
I'm not actually looking for any help or anything, I just needed to get this out. But if you would like to offer any suggestions or help please do, it would be much appreciated. Thanks guys :)
I'm getting really really stressed and depressed about school at the moment. A few years ago, I used to love going to school; I was really happy going there. But now, over the past year or so all of that has changed. There's a few reasons why this is happening, I think.
First of all, as time goes on, I increasingly feel quite isolated from everyone. I'm a massive introvert and I just feel quite sad that I'm not that great with making friends, I'm not that great at going out. It just makes me feel worse than I already am. I hear about all these things that people I know are doing and it just makes me feel bad that I just don't have the confidence to go and ask them whether I could go. I do get along well with them, but when it comes to talking and large groups, I just get so scared that I don't want to be there with them.
Second, I just think way too much is expected of us at school. I'm not one of those people who goes 'I'll fail so I might as well not try', I honestly try my best in everything that I do. And in some subjects, I do get bullied quite a lot and they just yell at me 'Go on LH, just do it!!!!' then that really puts my self esteem down. I'm trying my best, it's not like I'm messing around just to annoy you is it? People think that they can boss me around because they're better than me. It's been going on for nearly 3 years, been reported several times and yet nothing seems to be happening. It hasn't been that bad since we've been back after the summer, but it's still happening. More generally though, school expects us to do too well. One of our mottos is 'only the best is good enough' so why do you still expect us to do more and more and more? My school now give you a mark, 1-5 for every single lesson. 1 is the best, 5 is the worst. And because of the stupid way they mark it, people who are quiet and shy and have anxiety issues (like me) can only get 3's and 4's. And then they complain at us saying we don't do enough. I still do all the work, get grade A's but no... the people who are loud, and quite frankly show-offs are the ones who are getting the 1's and 2's. That just stresses me as I really want to do my best, and people aren't showing me any appreciation for it. All they also go on about is exams exams exams. They are months away, but yes they want us to do well but putting pressure on this early will only make people more and more worried.
And finally, as I've already said I get really anxious in large groups, and especially when it's loud. Which makes the canteen a problem. It's so loud, and people pushing .Yes that probably happens in every school, but for me when it gets that crowded, that loud, I just need to get out of there which means I don't really eat at school anymore. That's definitely something that needs to be sorted out.
I'm not actually looking for any help or anything, I just needed to get this out. But if you would like to offer any suggestions or help please do, it would be much appreciated. Thanks guys :)