I hate myself when I eat

[Kawaii Bean]

I feel so guilty, like I shouldn't have ate food at all. In my head I hear a voice telling me I'm fat and that I'm a disgusting pig.
I can eat something as small as a granola bar or a chip and feel like I'm gaining 10 lbs instantly. It's just so shameful to me. After I eat, I wish I could throw it back up so that I can feel relieved, but my doctor has told me that I have to stop throwing up my food. It's hard, like having urges to cut when you're suicidal but knowing that you can't hurt yourself anymore.
Most days I go long periods of time without eating. I usually only have one meal a day and when I do it's not a lot. :(

[Phosphene]

As long as you are eating enough to sustain yourself, you are not eating too much. Starving yourself is not helthy. We have to eat to live, you're not a disgusting pig. If you feel you are overweight maybe exercise more and/or eat healthier.

[Flapjack]

hey buddy I don't know whether you are overweight, underweight or whatever but if you're trying to lose weight starving yourself is the worse thing you can do. It lowers your bodies metabolism and makes your body fight against you to retain weight and then put it back on faster.

[BlackParadePixie]

I know you've probably heard this a million times...but eating is normal. Your body uses energy and that energy is supplied by the food you eat.

I would suggest seeing a therapist so you can find out why your relationship with food is so negative.

[Godsdaughter]

You are not fat, or a disgesting pig. I'm sure of it. It doesn't sound like you are eating too much, and you are not going to gain 10 pounds just by having a snack. Don't worry about it. I'm sure that you are beautiful, sweetie.