Dating someone more experienced

[SammiB]

When you are dating someone who has had a lot more experience, do you feel you need to catch up, or do you feel your boyfriend or girlfriend should just be happy to be with you?

[jxxx_z]

I think you should only go as fast as the slowest person, that way it's more comfortable for both people

[jamie_n5]

I think you should be happy and take things slow and really get to know each other well. Let things naturally kind of fall in place for you two.

[Caledonia]

Never been in the situation but if I was I'd feel a lot happier if my partner went at my speed and respected the fact I was maybe a few steps behond them and it was all a bit new to me and I was a bit nervous

[jake97aus]

It's really important to have a good balance, so they don't take things too fast and rush you into anything! But it's also important to know where they think you're at in the relationship so you can let them know if your not ready yet before any awkward situations

[Nicole4All]

Talking is really important so you're both on the same page. Then you can decide next steps.

[hockeyboy2000]

yea one person shouldn't be going faster than they want, but also more experience can be goo.

[sara___]

Talking is really important so you're both on the same page. Then you can decide next steps.

well said !!

[Zachary G]

If they are with you, then they are happy to be with you no matter how much experience you have or have had. Its not a contest, its about how you feel towards each other that really matters. The rest will just fall into place.

[shy_indian_chick]

if your partner is willing to be a good teacher, it can be quite awesome. I understand that it can create some jealous feelings, but personally I'd try not to judge my partner for things that happened in the past.

[ana bela riguesrod]

experience would be good, but if it is like he or she complaints with whatever they do and if are not able to make up to their expected level then things will be worse.
Experiencing something of that sort.

[Uniquemind]

The counter question is: Experience of what sort? Depending on that sometimes it's a yes for the OP's question other times it's a no.

[Phosphene]

The more experienced person needs to respect their partner's decisions in the relationship and not pressure them into anything they aren't ready for. It's important to have good communication so each knows how fast they want to take the relationship. My previous boyfriend had been in waaaay more relationships than I have, and that made me self-conscious at first. Then I realized it might actually be a good thing--being in so many relationships, hopefully he learned what not to do :lol:

[Trevorkid]

I think you should only go as fast as the slowest person, that way it's more comfortable for both people

Totally agree. No one wants to feel rushed.

[Uniquemind]

Totally agree. No one wants to feel rushed.

The more experienced person needs to respect their partner's decisions in the relationship and not pressure them into anything they aren't ready for. It's important to have good communication so each knows how fast they want to take the relationship. My previous boyfriend had been in waaaay more relationships than I have, and that made me self-conscious at first. Then I realized it might actually be a good thing--being in so many relationships, hopefully he learned what not to do :lol:


I kind of agree, but at the same time the person that wants to go at a faster pace is free to leave the relationship too.


I think we tend to demonize the party that also wants to go faster, because indirectly it creates pressure for the slower pace preferred party to want to meet those expectations of their partner.

But at the end of the day, I'm not gonna call that abuse or bullying. That pressure is an indirect pressure as long as the other party isn't leveraging or using direct-guilt to move the relationship along.

Passive-guilt, is all in the mind of the party who feels their inadequate and in my view, that person needs to be comfortable to let their partner go because where they are is their choice which they also need to make peace with in order to find that ground to say "no I will not speed up my pace to meet partners demands".


P.S.: I'm quoting you both because I'm responding to you both because you basically have similar talking points.

[Phosphene]

I kind of agree, but at the same time the person that wants to go at a faster pace is free to leave the relationship too.

I agree, in my case he did.


I think we tend to demonize the party that also wants to go faster, because indirectly it creates pressure for the slower pace preferred party to want to meet those expectations of their partner.

I know this isn't exactly what you said but I wanted to also add this to it: The slower-paced party doesn't always have to be the more experienced one; the party with less experience might want to go at a faster pace because they don't want to disappoint their partner by not taking the relationship fast enough. Again that's why communication is important. And I apologize if I somewhat misunderstood your post - haven't been awake long :P

[darla]

Just be happy

[Uniquemind]

I agree, in my case he did.




I know this isn't exactly what you said but I wanted to also add this to it: The slower-paced party doesn't always have to be the more experienced one; the party with less experience might want to go at a faster pace because they don't want to disappoint their partner by not taking the relationship fast enough. Again that's why communication is important. And I apologize if I somewhat misunderstood your post - haven't been awake long :P

This is also true. I belief the phrase "too eager" comes to describe that scenario.

[Trevorkid]

Just be happy

Yeah, gotta do what feels right for you and enjoy it.