Do I break it off?

[cra1g]

Okay so this girl and I met at the beginning of our previous semester of college and we became good friends over the summer and began "talking". Now this semester of school has started and we began officially dating two weeks ago. Up until just before I asked her to be my girlfriend I was positive that it was what I wanted but now I'm not entirely sure. I keep flipping back and forth between not being sure that I like her that way and thinking that I may be falling in love with her. (I know that is a big jump) We have some differing views on certain things and while she is a virgin, I am not. We have been very close many times but she always stops it before we actually have sex. I'm only including this because I wonder if it sounds like I'm resentful toward her for not having sex with me. I don't think I am but I've found in previous situations that sometimes I misunderstand my own feelings.

What do I do now? Do I break it off with her? Is it unfair of me to continue this relationship when I'm not sure if it's what I want? Is it just me being petty because she won't have sex with me? I don't want her to get hurt and I want us to remain friends even if it doesn't work out. I also feel guilty because this is the farthest she's ever been with someone sexually and I know I shouldn't have let it happen but I get caught up in the moment and I can't resist.

PS. Over a year ago now, I broke up with my girlfriend of two years who was my first sexual partner. I had a bit of a relapse during last December and the beginning of January this year. (This would be one of the situations where I misunderstood my own feelings). I thought I was still in love with her but came to realize that I just felt guilty about the way things ended between us and I ended it again as the same reasons that I ended it in the first place were still there. I did truly love her and I still love her though I know I'm not "in love" with her anymore. I wonder if maybe I'm not totally over her though it could not have anything to do with it. I still think about her sometimes but I don't really compare the two relationships so I think I'm over her but I just wanted to give all of you the full situation so I could get some accurate feedback.

[Taryn98]

Don't make a hasty choice. Give it some more time. You said you're only dating for 2 weeks. Spend more time together, get to know each other more and see what happens. There's no time table you have to follow to make a decision.
When you know what you want 100%, then follow that path. If you break up now, you'll probably regret it a week or so, and she probably won't be interested any more.

[Kyle37]

There's plenty of fish in the sea. If you don't "break it off" with her, you'll always wonder "what if" I did. "What if I found someone even better" and stuff like that.

[jamie_n5]

Well only you knows if you love this girl or not. Virginity is a very special thing. I don't think that a person should loose their virginity unless they have very deep feelings for the other person. Sexual intercourse is the most loving way and a closeness two people can share. So respect her feelings. If you don't think that you can ever really love her then it's time to break up and move on. If all you want is sex from a girl then you are going to have to settle for sluts until you find that special girl. I hope you don't pick up any STD's in the meantime.

[Nicole4All]

Well only you knows if you love this girl or not. Virginity is a very special thing. I don't think that a person should loose their virginity unless they have very deep feelings for the other person. Sexual intercourse is the most loving way and a closeness two people can share. So respect her feelings. If you don't think that you can ever really love her then it's time to break up and move on. If all you want is sex from a girl then you are going to have to settle for sluts until you find that special girl. I hope you don't pick up any STD's in the meantime.


Totally agree ^^^. You may want to ask yourself if you are in love or in lust. Sometimes our hormones are so strong it's hard to sort out all the feelings. Virginity is special, so try to view this from her perspective and respect her decision. If you build the relationship over time, my guess is that the sex will happen. But you have to decide if that's something you can wait for.

[ThomasD]

I agree.

[cra1g]

Well only you knows if you love this girl or not. Virginity is a very special thing. I don't think that a person should loose their virginity unless they have very deep feelings for the other person. Sexual intercourse is the most loving way and a closeness two people can share. So respect her feelings. If you don't think that you can ever really love her then it's time to break up and move on. If all you want is sex from a girl then you are going to have to settle for sluts until you find that special girl. I hope you don't pick up any STD's in the meantime.

I don't just want sex from her, I never have. I've done that before with another girl and I wish it had never happened. I care about her and I respect her decision about her virginity and I'm not going to push her to do anything she doesn't want or isn't ready for. I agree that virginity is something special and I also believe you should only lose it to someone you have deep feelings for. I lost mine to my ex girlfriend who I was in love with and the next time I had sex with a different girl (after we had been broken up for almost a year), I regretted it almost immediately.

Don't get me wrong, sex is something that I definitely want to experience with my current girlfriend but I will never push a girl into something she isn't ready for.

I'm just trying to figure out my feelings for this girl and I included the information about sex to see if it seemed as though I was being resentful toward her for not having sex with me. The reason I thought of this is because she asked me if not having sex would make me resentful of her since we get close and do other stuff. I don't believe I am but if it sounded like that to others then maybe it's something I need to give more thought to.

Mostly I'm just fishing for feedback to help me figure out my feelings by giving me things to think about.

Like I said, sometimes I feel like I'm falling in love with her but others I feel like I would about a friend. We were friends for while before we really started talking and she made fun of me constantly which hasn't changed. This doesn't bother me when it's a friend because my others friends make fun of me for almost everything I do all the time and I'm used to it (and they aren't awful people or anything; its normally in good nature when they make fun of me). But, I think her doing it all the time (just as much, if not more than my other friends) is either confusing me into thinking we're just friends, or maybe it bothers me more since she's supposed to be my girlfriend.

I don't know what it is. But does that make sense? Is just me being a baby? Or something else?

[jamie_n5]

Well it sounds more reasonable to me now my friend. Just take things slow and easy and let nature take over. Hopefully you will either fall stronger in love with each other or find out you are not suited for each other. I wish you the best of luck my friend.