If you loved someone who was overweight, would you want them to be in better shape?

[Kawaii Bean]

Survey question.
Basically, if you was in a relationship with someone and that someone was overweight, would you help them achieve a better physical condition or would you just leave them be/not care?

[Sailor Mars]

Even if I wasn't dating the person, and they were my friend, I would still encourage them to get in better shape. Being unhealthily overweight is an issue.

[Flapjack]

I agree with Mars, I want everyone to be healthy however I wouldn't mind if they were overweight, it is their life! I wouldn't not date someone because of their weight :)

[Croconaw]

I wouldn't mind honestly. I'm attracted to heavier people.

[AustinKGB]

The problem is that we've gotten to a point where in our pursuit to make everyone feel accommodated, we are willing to lie to legitimize destructive lifestyles. Ultimately, being overweight increases your chances of health issues, so even if you are attracted to larger people, or you love who they are, I think its in your and their best interest to be healthier. If I fell in love with someone who was overweight or obese I would encourage them to become more healthy, but I wouldn't make it a condition to our love and our relationship (unless their condition was critical).

[jamie_n5]

I would try help them if they wanted me to and I would support them.

[Dalcourt]

Well if the person isn't like unhealthy obese just has a few pounds too much and wouldn't mind I wouldn't say or do anything. If my partner, was unhealthy overweight or had a problem really it I would of course help and support my partner in loving weight.
As a whole for me it's not looks that count in a relationship so I wouldn't choose my partner due to his weight.

[LiamC]

I'm attracted to heavier guys too, if he was obese and in danger of real issues then I would probably say something but I'm overweight myself (not HUGELY but I'm definitely not skinny lol) so it would be hypocritical if I didn't accept someone being a heavier weight.

[ClaraWho]

The problem is that we've gotten to a point where in our pursuit to make everyone feel accommodated, we are willing to lie to legitimize destructive lifestyles. Ultimately, being overweight increases your chances of health issues, so even if you are attracted to larger people, or you love who they are, I think its in your and their best interest to be healthier. If I fell in love with someone who was overweight or obese I would encourage them to become more healthy, but I wouldn't make it a condition to our love and our relationship (unless their condition was critical).

All of this. I'm disturbed and suspicious of anyone who WANTS their partner to be overweight. You realise they will die younger right? That they risk developing far more horrible, slow and debilitating fatal conditions?

How can you look at yourself morally knowing you are enabling or even ENCOURAGING them into an early grave? And what does that say about who you are as a person?

~ Clara

[PlasmaHam]

Being overweight, especially obese, is not healthy. If you loved someone, and wanted the best for them, I would definitely encourage them to develop a healthier life style. I would definitely encourage my girlfriend to lose weight if she was overweight, not because I like skinny women, but there are no positives to being overweight.

[Leprous]

All of this. I'm disturbed and suspicious of anyone who WANTS their partner to be overweight. You realise they will die younger right? That they risk developing far more horrible, slow and debilitating fatal conditions?

How can you look at yourself morally knowing you are enabling or even ENCOURAGING them into an early grave? And what does that say about who you are as a person?

~ Clara

You know, after all it is the opinion of the person dating the overweight one. I am not saying I agree but that doesn't mean they should be seen as criminal like people because well, vegans can say the same about people eating meat. I do still agree that it's wrong to encourage them though.

[ClaraWho]

You know, after all it is the opinion of the person dating the overweight one. I am not saying I agree but that doesn't mean they should be seen as criminal like people because well, vegans can say the same about people eating meat. I do still agree that it's wrong to encourage them though.

What?

I'm sorry but I must have missed your point.... :confused:

~ Clara

[Leprous]

What?

I'm sorry but I must have missed your point.... :confused:

~ Clara

You said "How can you look at yourself morally knowing you are enabling or ENCOURAGING them into an early grave?"

I get your point but after all who are we to judge? It's still the opinion of the partner after all and as I said, there are plenty of vegans looking at people who eat meat the same way and it's not (with all due resoect) not the smartest thing in my opinion.

[Flapjack]

To the people talking about 'encouraging'. I would only 'encourage' anyone to lose weight if they wanted to lose it or if it was a real risk to their health. Otherwise I think it is just being really rude and could really knock their self-esteem.

[Phosphene]

I agree with Mars, I want everyone to be healthy however I wouldn't mind if they were overweight, it is their life! I wouldn't not date someone because of their weight :)

This, I couldn't have said it better! :) If someone I love is overweight I would definitely encourage them to lose, but I wouldn't feel differently about them because of their weight. I would just want them to feel good and be healthy.

[ImCoolBeans]

For health reasons I'd encourage anyone who is overweight to try and get in better shape. Not for me, but for them and their health. I wouldn't want them to run into health issues later in life because of it.

[ClaraWho]

You said "How can you look at yourself morally knowing you are enabling or ENCOURAGING them into an early grave?"

I get your point but after all who are we to judge? It's still the opinion of the partner after all and as I said, there are plenty of vegans looking at people who eat meat the same way and it's not (with all due resoect) not the smartest thing in my opinion.

What do you mean who are we to judge? That's such a fatuous unsubstantive remark.

You are comparing two entirely different subjects as though they are remotely related. Not eating meat isn't a health risk, it's a dietary choice. You aren't going to have a heart attack because you've only eaten a balanced vegetarian diet all your life. This point makes no sense.

We are the only sentient species that CAN and indeed, are hard wired to only be ABLE to judge. Instantly. 24/7. Beyond our control. How we inform that judgement is what matters. And all the evidence is explicitly clear that being overweight is castrophically bad for your health.

Legally speaking there have been cases in the US where fetishists of overweight women, who enable and feed them until they die due to weight related issues, have been charged with manslaughter. This is obviously the rare extreme, but point made.

To the people talking about 'encouraging'. I would only 'encourage' anyone to lose weight if they wanted to lose it or if it was a real risk to their health. Otherwise I think it is just being really rude and could really knock their self-esteem.

But the point is this is your closest friend, your partner. Approach it in a loving and supportive way, that's hopefully a given. But so is the fact being overweight is a real health risk.

For health reasons I'd encourage anyone who is overweight to try and get in better shape. Not for me, but for them and their health. I wouldn't want them to run into health issues later in life because of it.

You know, after all it is the opinion of the person dating the overweight one. I am not saying I agree but that doesn't mean they should be seen as criminal like people because well, vegans can say the same about people eating meat. I do still agree that it's wrong to encourage them though.

See this is what confused me, in this paragraph you both disagree and then agree with the point made. :what:

~ Clara

N.B. Apparently DISCUSSION on topic, or replying to replies, is not permitted by the moderator below. It isn't clarifying, it's 'arguing'. Adults call it talking. Please do not reply to this if I quoted you, sorry. He wants to ban me.

[ImCoolBeans]

What do you mean who are we to judge? That's such a fatuous unsubstantive remark.

You are comparing two entirely different subjects as though they are remotely related. Not eating meat isn't a health risk, it's a dietary choice. You aren't going to have a heart attack because you've only eaten a balanced vegetarian diet all your life. This point makes no sense.

We are the only sentient species that CAN and indeed, are hard wired to only be ABLE to judge. Instantly. 24/7. Beyond our control. How we inform that judgement is what matters. And all the evidence is explicitly clear that being overweight is castrophically bad for your health.

Legally speaking there have been cases in the US where fetishists of overweight women, who enable and feed them until they die due to weight related issues, have been charged with manslaughter. This is obviously the rare extreme, but point made.



But the point is this is your closest friend, your partner. Approach it in a loving and supportive way, that's hopefully a given. But so is the fact being overweight is a real health risk.





See this is what confused me, in this paragraph you both disagree and then agree with the point made. :what:

~ Clara

No one is trying to argue here. Stop derailing the thread.

[Babs]

Of course I'd want anyone to be in their best shape, but it's not something I would bring up to them, nor would I think less of somebody for their weight because that's not my business or my problem.

[lyhom]

yeah I'd want them to be healthier but I wouldn't talk about it often since it just comes off as naggy to me sometimes

N.B. Apparently DISCUSSION on topic, or replying to replies, is not permitted by the moderator below. It isn't clarifying, it's 'arguing'. Adults call it talking. Please do not reply to this if I quoted you, sorry. He wants to ban me.

:lol: chill

[Zachary G]

if i were in a relationship with someone who was over weight it would mean that I have accepted them for who and how they are and I wouldnt try to make them change. Now, dont get me wrong, I would care about their health and well being, but I would lead by example in how I took care of myself with the hopes that it would catch on and they would want to try to do the same.

[Melodic]

Well, I'd be a pretty awful girlfriend if I said that I don't want them to make healthier choices. I wouldn't judge them for it though. I'm not the type of person to body shame others though, especially since love means that I accepted the person for who they are.

[ethan-s]

Fat chicks are not attractive to me.

[Elysium]

It depends. If you're going by BMI, "overweight" does not necessarily mean they're in bad shape (muscle is heavier than fat). If I was dating someone who was in bad shape and it was harming their health, I would support them in whatever they wanted to do or felt comfortable doing. It's not my place to say anything unless they're in immediate danger.

[Jinglebottom]

Yes I would, being overweight can't possibly have any positive health effects. I'd be worried for my partner if they didn't lose some weight.

[Bluebyrd]

I'm overweight. I know it's unhealthy but I don't give a shit because I like food. I'm not just going to lose weight because then I wouldn't be happy. I hate this stigma that having a healthy lifestyle is the be all, end all.

[PlasmaHam]

If I was dating someone who was very overweight, and didn't have the initiative to at least try to lose, I would probably dump them. It's not that I all for model sized women or that fat people are evil, but there is nothing good about being overweight. And if they value their personal pleasure of eating and being lazy over doing something productive, then what are the chances they would be a good spouse? The decisions you make in one aspect of your life, will likely influence other aspects. If they don't have the will or drive to even attempt to lose weight, then would they have the will or the drive to make the tough decisions? I think not.

[ThomasD]

I guess I would, but if u want to be with them anyway so what.

[Caledonia]

Like others have said, if someone was seriously overweight then I guess I'd try and help them to lose weight for their own health but a few pounds overweight wouldn't bother me at all. There's no point being super skinny if you don't want to be