Equinox1
August 23rd, 2016, 07:45 AM
*If you're going to be rude then don't bother posting*
I'm 16 years old and I'm AFAB. Ever since I was a little kid, I identified as male. I thought that the doctors had literally guessed my sex wrong and had tricked everyone into thinking I was female. Nothing too bad happened until puberty, I felt some dysphoria until then but it was tolerable. I started puberty when I was 10 years old, possibly a bit earlier. I used to (and still do) cry when I had to wear a bra, having breasts in general and having periods. I developed a lot of mental health problems: depression, self-harm, trichotillomania, disordered eating, compulsions like hand-wringing. I used to and still do get panic attacks from being forced to wear female or too tight clothing. I attempted suicide twice. I did identify as male and I still do for now.
I'm questioning a little because lately, my dysphoria has mellowed out a bit. I'd still rather be male than female but I don't feel such a strong need. I feel like sometimes it would maybe be okay to be a tomboy. I'd like to be a girl in relationships but of course, it's easier to be a straight girl than a gay guy so maybe that's why. I'll probably still go ahead with SRS and HRT but I've been reconsidering lately. This might be a passing thing; recently I posted on an LGBT forum about being sick of being told that I wasn't male and being ignored. Well, this FTM guy posted and said that he saw me as I am and he was really listening to me and I cried for like ten minutes out of relief.
Am I bigender, genderfluid, something similar or is it just passing curiosity?
I'm 16 years old and I'm AFAB. Ever since I was a little kid, I identified as male. I thought that the doctors had literally guessed my sex wrong and had tricked everyone into thinking I was female. Nothing too bad happened until puberty, I felt some dysphoria until then but it was tolerable. I started puberty when I was 10 years old, possibly a bit earlier. I used to (and still do) cry when I had to wear a bra, having breasts in general and having periods. I developed a lot of mental health problems: depression, self-harm, trichotillomania, disordered eating, compulsions like hand-wringing. I used to and still do get panic attacks from being forced to wear female or too tight clothing. I attempted suicide twice. I did identify as male and I still do for now.
I'm questioning a little because lately, my dysphoria has mellowed out a bit. I'd still rather be male than female but I don't feel such a strong need. I feel like sometimes it would maybe be okay to be a tomboy. I'd like to be a girl in relationships but of course, it's easier to be a straight girl than a gay guy so maybe that's why. I'll probably still go ahead with SRS and HRT but I've been reconsidering lately. This might be a passing thing; recently I posted on an LGBT forum about being sick of being told that I wasn't male and being ignored. Well, this FTM guy posted and said that he saw me as I am and he was really listening to me and I cried for like ten minutes out of relief.
Am I bigender, genderfluid, something similar or is it just passing curiosity?