I hate 2/3 of my immediate family

[Skylark]

I've already made a post about my dad, but I missed some spots that I'd like to elaborate on. I recently realized my dad has the most massive power-correctness complex I've ever seen. If you don't know what that means, it's basically the story of a corrupt king who's let power and wealth go to his head, leading him to believe he can do nothing wrong and so he's always right in his mind, even if he's completely wrong. If I'm arguing with him about something and I actually make a point, he'll flip the subject real quick to something about me he knows he can chew me out on, like my math grade or my lack of skill in piano or some such. Therefore, in the end, he wins (even though the important issue is completely his fault, or at the very least, not mine. We're redoing our house soon and I wanted carpeting for my new room. My dad then set his gaze dead on hardwood floors. Since he has ultimate power over the project as he's actually doing the building, he believes that he can make any decision he wants without our consent and that it's always right. Standard example of power-correctness complex. He's said to me verbatim multiple times "I'm your father, you won't tell me I'm wrong." Also (completely unrelated), he'll do these tiny things to make me angry because he knows i get mad easy, and then make fun of me or yell at me for getting mad at him, like constantly interrupting me when I'm talking or calling me baby names like 'Claytie' in public on purpose. I don't know what to do about him besides ignoring him, but then he'll get angry with me.
Now onto the second demon Beelzebub put aside for me, my little brother. He's 12 and he's the biggest asshole you'll ever meet. He has no concept of the words 'go away' and 'leave me the fuck alone.' He's perfectly happy to fuck me over on a whim, while I carry stuff for him, I don't run and tell dad when I catch him fapping, I don't trip him and hide his things and hide behind corners and jump out to startle him when he comes by and take his fucking money out of his own wallet and then lie through my teeth when he yells at me about it when it's perfectly obvious that he knows that I stole it. I've left him the hell alone for eight fucking years (we weren't that friendly when we were little) and what do I get? Constant torment. He revels in my misfortune and humiliation, and will do anything to make me mad or feel helpless. I just want him to go the fuck away.
It's hard enough starting in an uppity Catholic high school when you suck at math and don't know or like a single fucking person there without coming home to the two people in the world that make you feel the shittiest. I have no idea what this accomplished and I don't expect any solutions or anything, I just wanted to vent. Sorry for wasting your time.

[Drewboyy]

My father is just as bad, when we argue he doesn't know what logic is. His opinion is fact. Recently he's being more aggressive and more violent because he knows I'll be bigger than him sooner than later and he's scared that he won't be able to instill physical fear in me (I'm the only other male in our immediate family so he didn't have to worry about that with older sisters).

You should try to respect him and realize that he is your parent, and does have at least a little power over you. You can also play your dad's card to your little brother- Confucius had point

[Ben7]

Hey Skylark, these are my thoughts about what you have said:

Your dad -
It sucks that your father is like that, no doubt it's annoying to say the least. In the end he is still your father though. In terms of carpet vs. hardwood floors during remodeling, well to be honest he is the head of the household and does own the house I'm guessing. Whatever he wishes to do with his house is up to him and I don't think there's anything else you can do about it. From your dad's point of view think that it may seem odd to have hardwood in the entire house except for one room, especially in terms of whether he ever plans on selling it in the future everything may look nicer if it's uniform. As for everything else you will probably have to put up with it and live with it, I'm sure despite everything he does and how he is, he still cares a lot about you because at the end of the day you are still his son and nothing will ever change that. If nothing else just bite the bullet and try to go with everything as best as you can. Once you go to college or move out you'll be on your own and won't have to put up with it anymore.

Your little brother -
It's unfortunate that you and your brother are not closer or don't get along better. I'd say at age 12 you can expect great levels of immaturity as you have described. Two of the options that you have are (1) reciprocate what he does, but I'm not sure that this will lead to a better situation in the end and it will probably only intensify your emotional distress. (2) be the mature, older brother, try to be a role model. Ignore his frequent acts that annoy you, maybe even pretend you don't notice or care. Instead, talk to him more seriously, brother to brother. Lead an attempt to change the situation maybe by asking him to join you if you're going out for a walk or ask him to play a board game or video games.find a way to redirect all the energy that he has to annoy you and at least try to turn it into something positive. If that doesn't work then unfortunately there's nothing you can do but wait it out. Does your bedroom door have a lock? Maybe you can prevent him from getting into your stuff by hiding it or locking the door when you are there. Also does telling your parents help at all? Maybe telling them this will lead them to at least try to help?
Good luck!

[Just JT]

Ben7 makes some good points Clay. It really does suck. I hate to read these kindsa posts because it reminds me of how much I miss my dad and how much I want a brother. And it's really sad to hear how you don't get along real good. Way I see it is in the end he's all you got, him to.

Unfortunately there's not a lot you can to to change people like this, just let them go and let them figure it out for themselves.

As far as your stuff, what I have is a lock box. Made of metal, Kees all my important shit in and locked up and only I have the key. It's not much, some old pictures, paperwork and a few trinkets from my dad, off topic here.....

But get one and lock it up.

[jamie_n5]

Where does your mom fit in on both the problems you have talked about? Is she any help to you by being understanding or a little sympathetic? I think that we all see our parents and especially or dads as monsters and overbearing assholes at times. I guess that I am fortunate to get along with my dad. We have had our share of problems. When I first came out as gay my dad and I really had bad times for about a month. His first words and reactions were " you are a freak of nature and not my son". I hope things will improve for you. As far as your little brother I think that siblings do tend to get on each others nerves and do things that bother and provoke each other. Man I lost my little brother to cancer 13 years ago and I miss him every day and would do anything to get and have him back. I don't know anything else to say but try to get along with both and I hope as you all get older things will improve for you.

[Skylark]

Where does your mom fit in on both the problems you have talked about? Is she any help to you by being understanding or a little sympathetic? I think that we all see our parents and especially or dads as monsters and overbearing assholes at times. I guess that I am fortunate to get along with my dad. We have had our share of problems. When I first came out as gay my dad and I really had bad times for about a month. His first words and reactions were " you are a freak of nature and not my son". I hope things will improve for you. As far as your little brother I think that siblings do tend to get on each others nerves and do things that bother and provoke each other. Man I lost my little brother to cancer 13 years ago and I miss him every day and would do anything to get and have him back. I don't know anything else to say but try to get along with both and I hope as you all get older things will improve for you.

My mom is just as angry at both of them as I am. I guess she just always is like "Ok you're right" when he's yelling at her and I generally have to help my brother when he needs to just shut the fuck up and go somewhere else; this is usually when he's annoying my mom.
She generally just tells me to do what my dad wants so we don't have to listen to his shit all the time. I generally listen, but I get mad enough to take his bait once in a while. Mom and I generally go somewhere after that.

That's not right for your own dad to react that way. At least you're on common ground now (I'm assuming).

So you were four.... Jesus. That's awful to lose your sibling at such a young age. I'm really sorry :(

Hopefully my bro will mature more in coming years. Thanks man :)

[jamie_n5]

I feel for you my friend. It must be horrible to have such a dysfunctional family. I hope things get better for you.