Why cant i find a gf

[BNSF8865]

I cant find that one girl who will accept me me.
Yes I know i'm not like the other teens but that don't make me evil.

[SethfromMI]

well one, sometimes finding the girl just takes time, some need longer than others

two, is there anything you are doing which may be keeping them away? not saying you need to change, but sometimes we can do things we do not realize others may see as off putting

[BNSF8865]

Well I have a model railroad in the works and I work in a warehouse.

[SethfromMI]

Well I have a model railroad in the works and I work in a warehouse.

how old are you?

so neither of those things should exclude you from finding a gf, though understand for a lot of girls, they are not going to find model trains necessarily interesting. doesn't mean you should give it up by any means of course.

what efforts do you make to meet women?

[BNSF8865]

I'm 18 and I just chat with them I don't say much bout my likes(to embarrassed by them cause of past issues).

[SethfromMI]

I'm 18 and I just chat with them I don't say much bout my likes(to embarrassed by them cause of past issues).

well I mean where do you try meeting them? what do they say back to you? what do you tell them? have you ever been in a relationship with some one? if so what worked and what didn't?

[BNSF8865]

I meet them at the mall,online and I just ask how they are and such they say good. and yes in middle school and I cant remember.

[SethfromMI]

I meet them at the mall,online and I just ask how they are and such they say good. and yes in middle school and I cant remember.

well for a relationship, you usually have to get to know them over a longer period of time. you usually just don't start dating on the first meet. it takes time to like each other and then decide you want to date them

[Just JT]

I meet them at the mall,online and I just ask how they are and such they say good. and yes in middle school and I cant remember.


I get you might feel embarassed about past issues but at some point in time building a relationship it's pretty normal to open up about some stuff

Perhaps you aren't open enough for a relationship to develope?

[BNSF8865]

yeah but who would want to hear a train nut talk about seeing his hero get killed in a crash

[SethfromMI]

yeah but who would want to hear a train nut talk about seeing his hero get killed in a crash

well that's not where you start

how long are you allowing the friendship to develop before you ask them out on a date?

[BNSF8865]

a year or so

[SethfromMI]

a year or so

when you ask them out and they say no, what do they say? I am just trying to figure out if there is something which is not being said why so many girls are turning you down. how many have you actually been asking?

[BNSF8865]

I say ok
and I asked bout 10

[SethfromMI]

I say ok
and I asked bout 10

no no what do they, as i the girls, tell you about why they don't want to date you?

[BNSF8865]

Cause my job is to much for a relationship.

[SethfromMI]

Cause my job is to much for a relationship.

well how many hours are you working? if that is the excuse they give, trust me, there are plenty of women who are going to want to date a guy who is working hard enough to take care of their family.

is there anything else your leaving out? is that why they won't date you your job?

[BNSF8865]

My job is a warehouse worker and on the side I help repair model trains (to get them to standard) I work all week to 7-1 and the other job is a all the time job.

[SethfromMI]

My job is a warehouse worker and on the side I help repair model trains (to get them to standard) I work all week to 7-1 and the other job is a all the time job.

well not having time for a relationship can cause problems, but the older you get and the older women get, the more many of them will appreciate your hard work, but even then you need time to invest into the relationship

[BNSF8865]

I try
and plus I make good money.

[SethfromMI]

I try
and plus I make good money.

I get you try. like I said, there are going to be plenty of women who appreciate your work effort.

is there any other reasons why you can't get a relationship? I guess if that is the only reason, maybe your going after the wrong type of women

[BNSF8865]

and I have a intrest in abandoned buildings,and the supernatural
but I tend to keep the under wraps with my depression and aspergers.

[SethfromMI]

and I have a intrest in abandoned buildings,and the supernatural
but I tend to keep the under wraps with my depression and aspergers.

ok we just dug a little deeper. I am guessing they find out about your depression and aspergers. now I am not saying that should be a reason for them to not date you, but those are hard things for people to deal with and some girls may not want to have to deal with them knowing how hard it will be

[BNSF8865]

yeah but my depression was from abuse
and I has scars on my body and they see that and think I'm a animal(at least I think that)

[SethfromMI]

yeah but my depression was from abuse
and I has scars on my body and they see that and think I'm a animal(at least I think that)

but having depression, regardless of what from, is going to make dating the person with depression difficult.

and while it is sad people judge on just on looks sometimes, physical attraction is indeed part of it.

do you see how it is just more than you having a busy job? you will find someone trust me, but it is just going to take time to find the right one

[BNSF8865]

I have doubts on the right one thing.

[SethfromMI]

I have doubts on the right one thing.

your 18, you still got plenty of time in life to find someone

[BNSF8865]

what it count if I love my layout.

[SethfromMI]

what it count if I love my layout.

what?

this is going to be a time thing. you are going to have to give it time to find the right person

[BNSF8865]

what if that person never comes?
like I said I'm not normal.

[SethfromMI]

what if that person never comes?
like I said I'm not normal.

well one, everyone is different so no one is "normal"

secondly though, you are 18. while I guess it is possible you will not find someone (the same could be said about ANYBODY) you got to give things like this time

[BNSF8865]

ok but what should I do in the mean time with being single around my non single friends.

[SethfromMI]

ok but what should I do in the mean time with being single around my non single friends.

you can still be a friend and hang with them. you can keep your eyes open as you look for the possible right girl for you

[BNSF8865]

yeah
tend to stray off to founders parks (its a parks I go to when I'm sad or confussed)

[SethfromMI]

yeah
tend to stray off to founders parks (its a parks I go to when I'm sad or confussed)

your going to have to keep trying to find a girl if you want to date one

[BNSF8865]

yeah

[jamie_n5]

Just keep looking man. There is a girl out there for you somewhere.