Not Ready

[Hermes96]

Hey.

So in January i broke up with my on off boyfriend for good. Every time i try to forget him he turns up again and makes sure he drag the past along with him. He keeps pulling me to one side a college and will tell me whats happening in his new relation ship. I've asked him to stop but he continues with it. After i decied to end the relation ship for good i couse to stay away from relation ships for at least six months. Lately a friend of mine (who's also gay) has been trying to message me and get closer to me. For exsample he'll lean his head on me when were chating in a group. I have hinted at him that i am no where near ready for even the idea of a relation ship yet he continues to do it. Also if i bring up my ex he'll get all anoyed and tell me i need to stay away.

So i guess my question is How do i get it through to him that i don't see any kind of relastion ship with any one in my future and to leave my ex in the past.

[PinkFloyd]

I think you need to really confront him about it. Really get your point across by being aggressive.

[JamesSuperBoy]

You DO not allow yourself to be pulled aside =

You do not allow some random to lean his head on you -

Just walk away -

[DarkHorse4eva]

you walk away if you see him, and tell him directly if he gets to pull you aside

[Hermes96]

i've tried that but i don't want to be that harsh as he is a good friend.

[noplanhere9]

For your ex, the best bet is time. With time you will be able to get over him. As for this new guy, I think constantly reminding him that you are not into him is essential.

[Obsidian]

I think you just need to be really honest with him. You said that you've hinted that you're not interested in a relationship, but that's different than really telling him. You don't have to be rude or harsh with him, you just need to explain to him that you're not ready for a relationship and that you'd just like to be friends, and you want to interact with each other just as friends and not romantically or intimately. If he doesn't change his behavior after that then honestly you might want to reevaluate your friendship with him, because he should respect your boundaries and your decisions.

As for your ex, just do your best to avoid him. Walk a different way to class so you don't have to run into him, and block contact with him through text or on facebook or any other ways you guys have used to communicate. & Even if you can't completely avoid him I am sure that he will eventually take the hint and leave you alone.