Haydenn3
February 18th, 2014, 04:39 PM
Well it seems that the darkness is taking over again and there seems no way to get rid of it
Last summer i started to self harm and i soon stopped after i met a new friend and had no time to think about it it really was needed as i was close to the edge the only thing stopping me committing was the fact my mum was pregnant but now my friend has gone away for a couple days and it seems like im falling back into the pit i havent self harmed as much as i want to but since he has been gone ive realised that im useless i have only two friends one i hardly see and the other (the one thats on holiday) i see nearly every day but he aggravates me so much but i like him and want to stay friends its like im addicted to his friendship it sucks. I have no life outside of him and i hate it i dont know how to make friends and i dont know how to keep a conversation going all i want is to have a few more friends i can see and not just the one i know this sounds selfish but im sick of my family knowing that i cant even make friends and have a normal teen life i failed school and im failing life i swear if it wasnt for my baby sister id kill myself but as much as i know she wouldnt know any different or miss me i just cant leave that cute face i love , thats another thing relationships at the moment i have no idea if im straight bi gay or what and as i cant get a girlfriend i wont know although i long for the time of me bieng able to hug and care for a girl i cant stop getting turned on by guys my age
Im going to stop there sorry for the long post just needed to get it out and if one of you guys could help thats a bonus thanks :)
Last summer i started to self harm and i soon stopped after i met a new friend and had no time to think about it it really was needed as i was close to the edge the only thing stopping me committing was the fact my mum was pregnant but now my friend has gone away for a couple days and it seems like im falling back into the pit i havent self harmed as much as i want to but since he has been gone ive realised that im useless i have only two friends one i hardly see and the other (the one thats on holiday) i see nearly every day but he aggravates me so much but i like him and want to stay friends its like im addicted to his friendship it sucks. I have no life outside of him and i hate it i dont know how to make friends and i dont know how to keep a conversation going all i want is to have a few more friends i can see and not just the one i know this sounds selfish but im sick of my family knowing that i cant even make friends and have a normal teen life i failed school and im failing life i swear if it wasnt for my baby sister id kill myself but as much as i know she wouldnt know any different or miss me i just cant leave that cute face i love , thats another thing relationships at the moment i have no idea if im straight bi gay or what and as i cant get a girlfriend i wont know although i long for the time of me bieng able to hug and care for a girl i cant stop getting turned on by guys my age
Im going to stop there sorry for the long post just needed to get it out and if one of you guys could help thats a bonus thanks :)