i messed up so bad...

[sofia432]

This is about me and my stupid mind. I didin't think before I did what l did..
So, my best friend in the whole wide world fell in love deeply for the first time. She loved him more than anything else. But he on the other hand didn't love her that much. He liked me. And l should have stayed out of the situation. But my silly mind liked him very much. So he asked me if l wanted to go on a secret date with him. I said no. But he kept on asking me and telling me he liked me so much. He even cried in front of me because l was saying no. He was doing this for 2 weeks straight. And one day, l changed my mind. I wish l didn't ..... I went out with him. And had the time of my life. And went out again. And again. I went on dates 4 times. And made out with him so many times ... But we swore we would never tell anyone. Because we were forbidden. And l didn't go out with him again. And 3 months later, I was on this party, and l got really drunk, and l kind of made out with his best friend. And he found out. And now he is threatening me that he will tell my best friend what we did. But that can't happen. I can't afford to lose my best friend. I would die for her. The situation is that bad that l am even thinkig about sucide. I live in a very small town and losing my best friend would mean that l will be alone everywhere l go. I am regreting my decision. If l could go back in time l would do everything different. But now it is what it is and l don't know what to do. I am feeling helpless........

[TheFutureDoctor]

Hey Sofia. First of all, please don't think of suicide. We are there to help you. Suicide is not the answer to problems.
Secondly, I think you should tell him you are drunk and apologize to him.
If he has a teeny bit of humanity left he should stop blackmailing you. Although he doesnt seem a very nice guy to blackmail you and not trust you. Why was he so desperate on asking you out then?
Also, I seriously think you shouldn't hide it from my friend. One reason, today its him blackmailing you tomorrow it could be someone else. What I have learnt is, don't hide anything from your friend (you two seem very close). So go ahead and tell her, (my thoughts!). And don't you be afraid of losing her if you were so close, she wouldn't leave you for something so trivial. Tell me, is she dating him as well? Or just wants to?
Take care.

Disclaimer: I am no relationship guide! I have never been in one so don't take me too seriously. Just trying to help.

[ClaraWho]

Suicide is the cowards solution that solves nothing. It's short sighted and ignorant of the rest of your life. When you are say, 4 years older, this will all be a trivial memory of a stupid childhood mistake. You'll have new friends, new boyfriend(s), new experiences. Time marches on.

You don't say what age you are either.

If you love someone you want to shout about it from the rooftops. You don't want to keep them as your 'dirty little secret'. Nobody decent cheats on their partner either.

Write a letter to your friend. Tell her everything. Tell her how you felt, in detail. What was going on in your life that you were so desperate to feel loved by a guy who you know isn't worth it? Did you feel you weren't worthy of being cared about by a real boyfriend? Was he the first guy to show interest in you?

Be as honest and detailed as possible, make yourself vulnerable and prepare for her to attack those vulnerabilities. Take her verbal punches with nothing but apologies. You don't have a right to be offended if you want her to forgive you. It's difficult to hate someone, to attack them, if that person isn't fighting back (unless she is a bully - in which case dump her ass as a friend). She will be angry, don't tell her you've been thinking about suicide. That isn't fair on her, it makes it all about you, and you've been selfish enough. Tell her you've been dreading telling her, tell her the dates it happened, when it ended, etc. Tell her how awful you feel. TAKE HER ANGER WITH ONLY APOLOGIES.

If you fight back you've lost her, and at worst made an enemy. Let her vent, give her space of a week, then start a charm offensive.

Rules
- No texts unless she texts you.
- No calls unless she calls you, stay calm and answer fully anything she asks.

Think about what you would do if you were going to try to win her heart and date her. Sounds odd I know but bear with me. Gifts on her doorstep, flowers, a sorry card. Think of what she likes, of what she doesn't like doing (do it for her), of private memories (remind her of the good times you had). You need to win her back. Think positive even in the face of her negative. Suck it up. She'll see how hard you are trying and hopefully, hopefully, forgive you. But she doesn't owe you anything. You could do all this and it might fail. Prepare for that. You will feel better having done all you can though.

Good luck and please let me know how it is going,

~ Clara

[jamie_n5]

I really think that you should sit down with your best friend and tell her the truth. As much as it may hurt you really need to do this. If this guy tells her then it may explode. You need to tell her what this guy did to convince you and how you tried to resist and said no many times. Tell her you love her and that you never intended to hurt her. This guy is really a no good SOB anyway. He screwed both of you over using you and hurting your BFF. Please don't think of harming yourself. The truth usually prevails and things will work out believe me.

[sofia432]

You won't believe what just happened. I just got the courage to tell her. I sat down and I cried more than I spoke but I told her everything. And l was mentally prepared for a disater for broken glasses and screams and fights but all l got was: You are my sister and soul mate. I am not going to lose you over some fuckboy. You have nothing to worry about. And she hugged me. I don't think l deserve her in my life. Oh god l love her so much. Thank you guys for everything. This was the worst week of my life. And l will remember it forever. I am gratefull for everything in my life. And l promise lt won't happen again. Never. And people learn a lesson from my case, no boy is worth losing your best friend because of him.

[Just JT]

That's really great sophia. It's really great how true friendship can pull through tough shit like that just shows to go you that it's really important to juat talk and be honest with friends huh? Might be surprised how it all works out

[yeehaw]

I'm glad you told the truth and she accepted what you said. She is very mature and so are you and you both overcame it. I'm glad you two are okay. :)

[Flapjack]

I am so glad your friend was so understanding :)