I don't know what to do

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

Hi,
A couple of days ago I (14/Male/UK) was added by my cousin (who doesn't live near me) to an instagram group chat with a lot of his friends from where he lives. At first, it was just the usual group talk, but there was this one girl who after a few hours of chatting, we found that we both had something in common, in terms of how we broke up with our exes, and that we were both finding it hard without someone for support. She is one year younger than me.

Before long, we were 1 on 1 DMing, and have been almost non-stop since that moment. We've got a lot in common, such as interests, TV shows, etc. and I feel like I've grown quite close to her.

She also sometimes seems to be quite flirtatious in her use of emojis, and often refers to looking forward to meeting someone new and starting a new relationship, which I don't know whether to dismiss or take as a sign.

Ultimately, I like her. But I don't want to make things awkward by doing anything stupid.

So what do I do?

Thanks,
-AnonymousPotato

[Just JT]

Hello David and welcome to vt!!!

I think anytime you meet someone on line or via social media or chat or what ever, there's a risk. I also think that this could be a real deal. You could meet a great girl, have so much in common, get to know each other do things and have a great relationship with her. But again, there's risk, total stranger.

If you meet be smart about it. Meet in public, have both of you bring a friend and all 4 of you meet each other. Go from there.

As far as you doing or saying something stupid, (your words) id be open honest relaxed and be yourself. My dad used to say listen twice as much as you speak. You'll learn more, you'll,listen better, and the person speaking will feel your listening to them. She'll ask you questions, if she wants to know about you. Just roll,with it and relax, and enjoy the time you have together. If you meet.

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

Hello David and welcome to vt!!!

I think anytime you meet someone on line or via social media or chat or what ever, there's a risk. I also think that this could be a real deal. You could meet a great girl, have so much in common, get to know each other do things and have a great relationship with her. But again, there's risk, total stranger.

If you meet be smart about it. Meet in public, have both of you bring a friend and all 4 of you meet each other. Go from there.

As far as you doing or saying something stupid, (your words) id be open honest relaxed and be yourself. My dad used to say listen twice as much as you speak. You'll learn more, you'll,listen better, and the person speaking will feel your listening to them. She'll ask you questions, if she wants to know about you. Just roll,with it and relax, and enjoy the time you have together. If you meet.

Thanks!

I know she's for real, as my cousin goes to her school. The main issue is that I don't live anywhere near my cousin, and the drive is around 4 hours. I am, however, going to my cousin's for a few days next week, so there could be an opportunity there.

A lot of my cousin's friends are also her friends, and I get on well with several of them, as we often play Counter-Strike together.

But the ultimate problem is that I don't know if I should mention my feelings, or if I should leave it for a while, seeing as we literally met 4 days ago.

[Flapjack]

Heyyy she is either very bubbly or flirty and tbh it could be either!! I'd ask someone that knows her personally :)

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

Heyyy she is either very bubbly or flirty and tbh it could be either!! I'd ask someone that knows her personally :)

I will. In the group chat where I met her, however, she rarely uses emojis, and never talks about her past relationships.

[Flapjack]

I will. In the group chat where I met her, however, she rarely uses emojis, and never talks about her past relationships.
That is a positive sign buddy!!! I wish you luck:) & keep us up dated!!

[Just JT]

Mimikyu makes a good point. Ask people you know who know her about her feelings. But then yeah don't rush into it. You might come off a bit to strong. Get to know her irl a bit and see where it goes. In time, her feelings and yiur feeling.....you'll Botha feel them, and it'll just be normal and natural and not all stressy like. Just relax and enjoy

[RallyingPoint]

Like whats been mentioned above, you always have to be careful when it comes to online relationships. But if you feel like you two really do have a connection then don't be afraid to tell her how you feel. You could always start by testing the water. Maybe ask your cousin about how to start things.

Long distance relationships can also be difficult. Maybe schedule a time for you guys to hang out, one and one, and talk and stuff. Depending on how that goes maybe see if there's more there than friendship. Hope this helps ;)

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

Ah s**t. That is the only way I can describe my current situation.

I told a friend that I'd met a girl online, and didn't mention any sort of romantic interest, and before long he found her account and well and truly f****d up the situation. He told her a load of BS stuff that I never said to anyone. And now she won't even talk to me. I mean to be honest it's pretty f*****g depressing. Is there anything I can do?

[everlong]

Your friend's a dick. You can't reassure her that what your "friend" said isn't true? Even though you guys have gotten so close, she just assumes your "friend" is right?

[lemondrop]

I don't really understand 13-14yo's relationships but if you wanna really do smth about it try to tell her that your friend took your phone and just spammed some bullshit,and tell her that you didn't want anyone to know (about this whole thing,+ u said to him that u met her online so that's why he thought it was safe and told some bs about you?)

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

I've tried explaining to her but still no reply. I know she's been active on social media today because she has changed her profile picture and posted, as well as DMed with a real friend who decided to talk to her about it. The conversation she had with this friend kind of fluctuated between "I don't trust him anymore" and "we are good friends and that is it".
F**k I'm feeling really down about this.

[Just JT]

Living is right. Your friends a dickhead. Friends don't do that shit to friends.
Seems to me you definatly lost one friend, who never was one tbh, but if you can get to the girl somehow, through someone you can really trust, not "dickhead #1" you might have a chance. But I'd go at it slow. Don't push it or you'll just push her away and maybe strain another mutual friendship

[jamie_n5]

It sounds like things are going well. I would just keep texting and talking to one an other and see what happens from there.

[clqppibn6gE5Uti8klW3]

Update 2: I finally got through to her, after getting not one, two, but three friends to talk to her. But even though we spent a while talking it out after my friends got her to talk, I feel like we've lost a lot. Lost trust, lost some of the connection. And I got friend-zoned. Which sucks but is better thank being blanked. Any way to get past the friend zone?

[Tesserax]

Update 2: I finally got through to her, after getting not one, two, but three friends to talk to her. But even though we spent a while talking it out after my friends got her to talk, I feel like we've lost a lot. Lost trust, lost some of the connection. And I got friend-zoned. Which sucks but is better thank being blanked. Any way to get past the friend zone?

From my teacher's words, once in the friend zone, the only path out is the long way. You just gotta stick together, be good friends, see if you can keep the embers burning and if you're lucky it may ignite later, but you have to be patient and careful so as to not put out the spark that still exists. Just keep going, but tread carefully and just be normal. Don't expect anything, just be a good friend.