Trust

[Dalcourt]

First of all I don't really like being around people so making friends is alwasy difficult for me.

Anyway...I have many mates...buddies whatever you want to call them but not too many real friends...as I said before I don't really like other people in general and I hate it to have someone too close, I guess this is part of my mental issues, dunno.

I had this discussion with one of my close friends on why I trust certain people as I usually seem to trust nobody. Honestly I had no real answer...
It's because of some certain feelings about a person something you decide with your heart not your head?
Like I don't do background checks on people I meet online or irl so I can't base the decision on facts.
That was the only thing I could come up with but it doesn't seem really satisfactory.

I dunno, usually I don't trust anyone too easily and can get somewhat unhealthy paranoid about people but sometimes trusting is just easy for me.

My friend always plays weird games with new people she meets to decide whether to trust them or not...I feel this is unfair and paranoid. But she says it's necessary esp.for people online.

I don't feel like doing such things so how can one decide whether some could be trusted or not?





My friend felt that my explanations are kinda irrational...and felt I could get in trouble and could get hurt if I make such important decisions just on a whim.

[WhoWhatWhen]

I think I understand what you're saying. The only way to trust people is to talk to them and figure out who they are (this more applies to irl because they can't really fake who they are). You trust your close friend because you know a lot about them, right? You have probably known them for some time now and know who they are.
And for the paranoid part, instead of having the thought in your head that you can trust them, just think of them as a friend. Just another person in the world trying to get on with life.
If nothing works, you should maybe talk to a therapist. This sounds like some deep-rooted trust issues that they could maybe help you with.

[Flapjack]

First of all I don't really like being around people so making friends is alwasy difficult for me.

Anyway...I have many mates...buddies whatever you want to call them but not too many real friends...as I said before I don't really like other people in general and I hate it to have someone too close, I guess this is part of my mental issues, dunno.

I had this discussion with one of my close friends on why I trust certain people as I usually seem to trust nobody. Honestly I had no real answer...
It's because of some certain feelings about a person something you decide with your heart not your head?
Like I don't do background checks on people I meet online or irl so I can't base the decision on facts.
That was the only thing I could come up with but it doesn't seem really satisfactory.

I dunno, usually I don't trust anyone too easily and can get somewhat unhealthy paranoid about people but sometimes trusting is just easy for me.

My friend always plays weird games with new people she meets to decide whether to trust them or not...I feel this is unfair and paranoid. But she says it's necessary esp.for people online.

I don't feel like doing such things so how can one decide whether some could be trusted or not?





My friend felt that my explanations are kinda irrational...and felt I could get in trouble and could get hurt if I make such important decisions just on a whim.
I also decide who to trust with my heart:) I think the best way to go about it is see whether they're breaking other people's trust. For example telling you their secrets whereas if they say they cannot tell you a secret that's good! :) I don't think there is a perfect way?:)

[Just JT]

Trust is a really hard thing. Especially if it's been violated in the past, only natural for someone to have trust issues. Not saying that about you, more me, I feel the same way. It's hard to trust, but without it, there's nothing now isnt there?

Most people do t have but 1, maybe 2 people they trust, trully trust, like best best friends, wife or husband, idk, maybe that's a bad example. But you know what I mean. But to build trust, takes time. Lots of time. And everyone has their own way of getting to L ow someone on that level. Maybe a little at a time, a little risk, little reward, or loss, then less risk, less trust. Like a chess game, that takes a life time.

Seems to me, if you have a true friendship established, even if it's not where you'd like it to be, trust wise, I'd build on that. Cause you may never find another one quite that close again. But also, it may never get closer. Regardless, she has her way of kinda figuring people out, her system, her trust, her risk. And you have yours.

I hope you can trust bro....hope i can to

[jamie_n5]

I think Ty that we are all a bit Leary of new people and rightfully so in this day and age. Yet we do need to build trust in relationships and friendships. I hope you find some way to judge people ty and you will find most people that you make friends with are OK good people. We also need to keep our guard up. Hope that you are still doing better and are slowly accepting help my friend.