Afraid of dad

[Xman31]

Ok I know it's natural to be afraid of an authoritative figure at a young age like a parent but now it's getting on my nerves... So my dad used to hit me to discipline whenever I did something wrong. (Like when I was 4) but recently I had hit my sis a bit to hard (in the face) and my dad punched me... In the face..... I know in Hong Kong child cruelty is taken seriously but then I thought, hold the cheese grater. I can't put my dad in jail. But now the feelings I had of my dad are back. Whenever he raises his voice or something I always back down. Sometimes cry or storm off... I rarely storm off but it happens. I don't feel like I need to take this crap from him but I live under his roof and I can't just move out so.... Like even as a 13 year old I'm still afraid to stand up to him. Anybody know how I can help soothe this?

[bandofbros20]

shoot dude I'm honestly not sure. Is your mom in the house? Maybe she could help. If not maybe you could find a time where he was more calm and relaxed and confront him about it. or if it does get too bad you could report him for child abuse. but that's like worst case scenario

[Dalcourt]

Ok I know it's natural to be afraid of an authoritative figure at a young age like a parent but now it's getting on my nerves... So my dad used to hit me to discipline whenever I did something wrong. (Like when I was 4) but recently I had hit my sis a bit to hard (in the face) and my dad punched me... In the face..... I know in Hong Kong child cruelty is taken seriously but then I thought, hold the cheese grater. I can't put my dad in jail. But now the feelings I had of my dad are back. Whenever he raises his voice or something I always back down. Sometimes cry or storm off... I rarely storm off but it happens. I don't feel like I need to take this crap from him but I live under his roof and I can't just move out so.... Like even as a 13 year old I'm still afraid to stand up to him. Anybody know how I can help soothe this?

I can imagine how you feel. My Dad has always been and still is abusive. People always tell me to report him and all but still I'd feel guilty for putting him in jail or sumthin...since even if his a bad Dad on one hand he can also be really cool and loving and he's basically the only family I have that really cares.

I am really afraid of him, too sometimes. I feel stupid sometimes how I start if he raises his voice and things like that.
But well, over the years I have learnt to read him and know when it's gettin dangerous or not. I usually try to leave either for my room or the house if I feel it's really bad. I sooth myself by telling me it's not that bad and well basically, listen to calming music when I'm in my room...and sometimes to cry when I'm alone somewhere is a great way for me too recover from the tension I built up when I have to be around my Dad when he's in a bad mood.

I dunno about your relationship with him is or what the rest of the family is thinking about it...like your sister, mom, grandparents whatever. If there's the possibility try to talk those other families and together you might find a solution?

It's hard to give you any good tips as I'm not able to do something to make my own situation better and I'd lie if I told you it's getting better on it's own or that he will change cuz I'm afraid people like that can't.

So yeah, sorry I can't give you any better advice.

[Zachary G]

I thiink a child should have respect for his/her father, but fear them I think that is a bit on the extreme side of things. I wish I could tell you how you could soothe the feelings you have, but I really dont know the resolution. Im sorry and I hope you are able to work things out.

[jamie_n5]

Well you should respect your parents not fear them. Your dad should not have punched you anywhere. He may have intended to show you what your sister felt like or something but hitting any child is considered child abuse. If it happens again I think you need to report it.

[Just JT]

Imo no person has the right to hit, cause pain, harm, or cause someone else to fear them. That just sounds so much like terrorism. And that sounds sa familiar. It's not always a global thing ya no?

Seems to me that you, dad, who ever need to take a look at how you guys take care of stuff. Maybe find a new resource. I'm not saying it's bad and all. But you just showed how violent abuse can be continued from one generation to the next.

Break the chain, do what's right, talk, calmly, work through it. Get help of you need it.

[Skylark]

I think something that would help is to remember that no matter what he does, you're protected by law. He can't do anything if you stand up to him and if he does, he's getting a sentencing. If your dad was mine, he'd have been in prison for most of my life.

[Freckles]

If that isn't how he normally acts he probably over reacted to what you did. Maybe he was stressed out about something else. I'd try to calmly talk to him and tell him how you feel. He may feel just as bad and apologize.