My girlfriend ignores me :T

[GeneralSkrubz]

Well, I had posted a bit back, asking about how I should ask out this girl I really liked, Yadda Yadda and it went amazing. We had a great date, but like. She doesnt seem emotionally connected, and she goes hours on end not texting me, she just plays on her phone and Xbox all day, and replies to me like, 4 hours later.. Am I just too needy? I dont know.. Im so into her, and like, it seems like she could care less if I were there or not. What should I do?

[Uniquemind]

Your issue is you need to find common interests and grow with her as a couple.

[GeneralSkrubz]

Your issue is you need to find common interests and grow with her as a couple.

The thing is, we used to hang out, and talk a lot, play the same games, go hiking, so much stuff, but as soon as I told her I was into her romantically, like, she just seemed like she was too above me. She ignores me and texts her friends, or when she promises to call me, she leaves for.. today was... 5 hours, and 22 minutes cx and play on her Xbox the whole time, then tell me she is too tired to talk. I dont know. I just, I dont get it.

[Uniquemind]

The thing is, we used to hang out, and talk a lot, play the same games, go hiking, so much stuff, but as soon as I told her I was into her romantically, like, she just seemed like she was too above me. She ignores me and texts her friends, or when she promises to call me, she leaves for.. today was... 5 hours, and 22 minutes cx and play on her Xbox the whole time, then tell me she is too tired to talk. I dont know. I just, I dont get it.

So wait, is this one-sided attraction?

You did say girlfriend, not friend that is a girl in thread subject line.

[GeneralSkrubz]

So wait, is this one-sided attraction?

You did say girlfriend, not friend that is a girl in thread subject line.

No, its not one sided, I took her on some dates, blah blah, she put that she was in a relationship with me, my whole point is that she is acting as if it werent a relationship at all. Like I am some guy who bothers her..

[Tim987]

No, its not one sided, I took her on some dates, blah blah, she put that she was in a relationship with me, my whole point is that she is acting as if it werent a relationship at all. Like I am some guy who bothers her..

Maybe you should sit down with her and talk to her. Sometimes it's the best way to strengthen your relationships

[Karpizzle777]

Play XBOX with her if you don't have one and she's worth it go get one. Try talking to her I know it can be daunting and horrible to talk to your partner about these kinds of topics but she is your girlfriend I am sure it would only better you in her eyes because girls love that. Oh and if you do talk to her it is good to practice beforehand to an inanimate object and then when you do talk to her pretend she is that inanimate object or like your talking to nothing, it usually helps me with nerves when asking girls out or talking about hard topics like this. Oh and also remember if this is getting you all up tight it probably won't be good for your mental health so it might be best to end it. Hope all goes well!

[Cadanance00]

She may be a game addict, in which case she doesn't have much time for people. 'BTDT.

[Flapjack]

I have never really been in a relationship but I hear for the first few weeks it is all crazy and you're texting 24/7 and then it calms down, maybe this is just the calming down stage?:)

[SethfromMI]

just try to talk to her in person so you can both discuss where you are at in the relationship right now

[Alex1s]

You might be a tiny bit needy...you counted hours and minutes between texts and calls lol

I know sometimes if I'm in the middle of something and I see my bf texts me sometimes I just forget to respond. Obviously talk to her about it but don't try to tell her she constantly needs to pay attention to you.

[Uniquemind]

Another possibility that being you're both new to relationships and there is a inexperience on both you and her, with regards to what that means besides in verbal and written form to the public that "you are in a relationship".


It's also possible that despite declaring the relationship, she's not feeling the swooning feeling and it's confusing her. Instead of tackling the issue with conversation she's decided or perhaps instinctually put distance between the two of you.

Distance is kind of the default safety behavior.

[GeneralSkrubz]

You might be a tiny bit needy...you counted hours and minutes between texts and calls lol

I know sometimes if I'm in the middle of something and I see my bf texts me sometimes I just forget to respond. Obviously talk to her about it but don't try to tell her she constantly needs to pay attention to you.

RIP I use Facebook, so it tells me p accurately when she last responds. I dont mind her playing games, like, we play together sometimes, blah blah, its just that, to her, her friends and videogames are more important, but when its my turn, I have to drop everything for her. I dont want to be rude and just be like, "hey, I feel like you ignore me." so... I just sorta sit at her house while she texts her friends. I will admit to being pretty jealous, and she often texts other guys while Im around, paying them more attention than me, so I just. Sit there. On her bed. As she texts people.

[Uniquemind]

RIP I use Facebook, so it tells me p accurately when she last responds. I dont mind her playing games, like, we play together sometimes, blah blah, its just that, to her, her friends and videogames are more important, but when its my turn, I have to drop everything for her. I dont want to be rude and just be like, "hey, I feel like you ignore me." so... I just sorta sit at her house while she texts her friends. I will admit to being pretty jealous, and she often texts other guys while Im around, paying them more attention than me, so I just. Sit there. On her bed. As she texts people.

That implies two or three things to me.

1. She is too immature for a romantic relationship, she's treating it almost like a game and seems to lack some social awareness of her actions.

2. The power dynamics of the relationship are off, resulting in you being disrespected.

3. On your part you might be putting her on a pedestal a bit, which is not something you should do, as it could breed resentment if she in reality falls short of your standards.


The only solution is to respectfully talk to her about it, but also dial back your expectations of how much leverage you influence on her simply because you are her BF in name.

For instance a girl can text other guys and have guy friends and still be in a relationship, I know this is a concept that is kinda of hard for many to understand but it's true and it's fair.

My advice: Breakup, she's toxic for you as she is unless she changes.

[GeneralSkrubz]

That implies two or three things to me.

1. She is too immature for a romantic relationship, she's treating it almost like a game and seems to lack some social awareness of her actions.

2. The power dynamics of the relationship are off, resulting in you being disrespected.

3. On your part you might be putting her on a pedestal a bit, which is not something you should do, as it could breed resentment if she in reality falls short of your standards.


The only solution is to respectfully talk to her about it, but also dial back your expectations of how much leverage you influence on her simply because you are her BF in name.

For instance a girl can text other guys and have guy friends and still be in a relationship, I know this is a concept that is kinda of hard for many to understand but it's true and it's fair.

I dont mind the guys. I get jealous, but Im not controlling. The thing that gets me is she ignores me for them. Like... I could never ignore my girlfriend for another girl, its just. Rude.

[Uniquemind]

I dont mind the guys. I get jealous, but Im not controlling. The thing that gets me is she ignores me for them. Like... I could never ignore my girlfriend for another girl, its just. Rude.

It is rude, don't tolerate that, make it known that that's a non-starter.


I've said this to other people who ask for advice here. When a relationship starts, one of the first conversations to have is to set ground rules of behavior in regards to how each person is to treat and behave around the other.


What's tolerated what will not be.

It's clear to me now, that she's not ready to be in a relationship, she likes the status of being in one, but she's not ready.

But she's also not communicating if she's unsatisfied with you, and is just letting you infer everything non-verbally if she does have complaints.

[GeneralSkrubz]

It is rude, don't tolerate that, make it known that that's a non-starter.


I've said this to other people who ask for advice here. When a relationship starts, one of the first conversations to have is to set ground rules of behavior in regards to how each person is to treat and behave around the other.


What's tolerated what will not be.

It's clear to me now, that she's not ready to be in a relationship, she likes the status of being in one, but she's not ready.

But she's also not communicating if she's unsatisfied with you, and is just letting you infer everything non-verbally if she does have complaints.

Youre right. Thank you for the advice so far. I feel like I should just be honest, and see if it changes. If not, then... Well its time to move on. Things happen.

[Alex1s]

RIP I use Facebook, so it tells me p accurately when she last responds. I dont mind her playing games, like, we play together sometimes, blah blah, its just that, to her, her friends and videogames are more important, but when its my turn, I have to drop everything for her. I dont want to be rude and just be like, "hey, I feel like you ignore me." so... I just sorta sit at her house while she texts her friends. I will admit to being pretty jealous, and she often texts other guys while Im around, paying them more attention than me, so I just. Sit there. On her bed. As she texts people.

Well that's annoying af and rude too. Like why invite you over and ignore you. You should just tell her "hey you seem busy I'm going to leave". Her response should tell you everything you need to know.

[bandofbros20]

Dude I had the same thing pretty much. I asked out this girl and we went on a date and it went great. and at the end I was like we should do it again and she was like totally that would be fun. but then when I ask her out again she'said busy. but every time she is busy. it was like she was blowing me off. so after like 4 months since our first date I decided there was no way this was gonna work and told her so and she didn't really seem to care. but oh well. my question is just what changed in a week that we started off great on one date and then almost immediately she didn't want anything to do with me